In the dictionary:
Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.

Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.
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BASIC programmers never die, they GOSUB and don't RETURN.

Programming is 10% science, 25% ingenuity and 65% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.

If God had intended humans to program, we would be born with serial I/O ports.

"It's 5:50 a.m., Do you know where your stack pointer is?"

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.

AND MORE……

http://coolsig.com/5/5/1


my uncle knew the exact time and date of his death, the judge told him.

2 men were going hunting when one of them suddenly had a heart attack. So the other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency.
"Hello? My friend is dead"
"Ok, calm down sir, the first thing you want to do is make sure he's dead"
*BAM*
"Ok, now what?"

Quote: Original post by aidan_walsh

Quote: Original post by pkelly83
I hope someone can understand this but it is one of the worst jokes I know (apologies for spelling mistakes, not that most will notice):

Tá beirt dunie Provo ag suil ar an bothar i bealfeiste,
duirt amhain "Ceapainn tú an fir sin ar an UVF",
Duirt an Provo eile "Ní ceapaim".

Free pint to first person who get its. Get it! hahahhaha.

*groan*

*seconds aidans groan*

我的伯父是魔術師, 他能走在街道下和把變成酒吧。

translate that!

"My uncle is the magic teacher, he can walk under the street and turns the bar."

Quote: Original post by H_o_p_s
"My uncle is the magic teacher, he can walk under the street and turns the bar."

"I have a magic uncle, he can walk down the street and turn into a bar!" sounds more like the classic "magic tractor" joke.

stupid bablefish, lost in translation

Quote: Original post by Anonymous Poster
stupid bablefish, lost in translation

Which is why you ask a person to translate things for you.

a prank call some freinds and I did last night.

positioning: a guy named john is hosting a party as we call his cell.

the prank: I am a oak, a stripper from lumberjack gay stripping inc.

me (in a very, very deep voice): hello, I am oak, that stripper from lumberjack strippers you requested. my log is caught in a wood chipper if ya know what I mean, we are going to have to send over birtch, as his tree is kinda thin, it goes up real fast, fair trade.

I then hang up