A teenager walks into a job placement agency and tells the agent at the desk that he's looking for a job.
The agent tells him that he's in luck. A job just opened up as a body guard for the daughter of a millionare. It requires that he wear a suit which will be provided, he must go on vacations with her all year around, she's a nymphomaniac and the job pays $100,000 per year.
Surprised, the teenager says, "You're bullshitting me!" The agent simply replied, "Hey, you started it."
[disturbed]
//EDIT: Changed the person to something less potentially offensive. - Kaz.
[Edited by - Kazgoroth on October 7, 2005 6:46:21 AM]
Bad Jokes
193
October 05, 2005 07:19 PM
Q. Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A. To stamp out bush fires.
Q. Why do elephants have flat feet?
A. To stamp out flaming ducks.
Thanks Dad.
A. To stamp out bush fires.
Q. Why do elephants have flat feet?
A. To stamp out flaming ducks.
Thanks Dad.
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0You don't stop playing because you get old; you get old when you stop playing.
100
October 05, 2005 07:38 PM
Two men stand on a scyscraper. One asks: 'Shall I push you off the roof?' The other sais: 'No.'
Q: What's white, square and lies in the grass?
A: A golf block.
Q: What's white, square and lies in the grass?
A: A golf block.
- Christoph---Hypotenubel.net Big Words Without Meaning | Jaic Wain The IRC client that never gets oldFlat Crap Not pushing 2D graphics to its limits | TWLog Keeping the world under surveillance
138
October 05, 2005 08:06 PM
Q: Why did the Roman Empire fail?
A: Because they had no way to return success.
A: Because they had no way to return success.
197
October 06, 2005 08:50 PM
Making Captain Nuss joke better:
Two men stand on a scyscraper.
One asks: 'Shall I push you off the roof?'
The other sais: 'Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.'
Two men stand on a scyscraper.
One asks: 'Shall I push you off the roof?'
The other sais: 'Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.'
---Carlos Leituga
100
October 06, 2005 09:10 PM
Quote: Original post by Carlos Leituga
Making Captain Nuss joke better:
Two men stand on a scyscraper.
One asks: 'Shall I push you off the roof?'
The other sais: 'Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.'
Hm... no, that could actually make it funny. I'll keep my original version, it suits its purpose of being an anti-joke quite well.
- Christoph---Hypotenubel.net Big Words Without Meaning | Jaic Wain The IRC client that never gets oldFlat Crap Not pushing 2D graphics to its limits | TWLog Keeping the world under surveillance
October 06, 2005 11:27 PM
What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you!
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you!
BRING BACK THE BLACK (or at least something darker)
102
October 07, 2005 01:30 AM
Quote: A man walked into a bar. Ow.
Did anyone not say this?
Also how did anyone miss this one.
Ok so three men are in a car driving through the desert when it suddenly breaks down. The first an electrical engineer steps out, looks around the car, and says "It must be a problem with the electrical system, maybe we should try replacing the battery". The second man a mechanical engineer steps out pops the hood fiddles with some stuff before "Saying it must be a problem with the engine, maybe we should replace some belts". The third man a Microsoft programmer steps out and says, "why dont we just try closing all the windows, shutting it down, waiting a few minutes, and starting it up again"
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