which is easier to move

A. a truck full of dead babies
B. a truck of bowling balls


A: A. because you can use a pitch fork



Q: how many babies does it take to paint a wall red

A: depends, how hard can you throw?


how do you make a dead baby float

add ice cream


whats the difference between a ford full of dead babies and my car

I drive a honda


* How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.

* What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

1.
Two tomatoes try to cross the road, then one says to another:
- Hey, look out! Here comes a *splork*
- What *splork*



2.
You're driving your motorbike, you got fire-truck behind you and closing in, an helicopter in front of you flying very low almost hitting you with the heli, a huge pig on your left and a deep abyss on your right!

What do you do? How do you escape??





Jump out of the carrousel! (weee)

[Edited by - Carlos Leituga on May 25, 2005 3:40:06 PM]

guys, I know this is the bad jokes thread, but can we ease up on the dead baby jokes?

fine

Q. A man walked into a bar. What did he say?
A. Ouch.

Q. How long does it take to paint a wall purple?
A. Depends, how big is the wall, and how many blueberries do you have?

Here's one:

A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Hey you got any grapes?"
"No, we don't," the bartender answers.

The next day the duck walks into the same bar, "Hey you got any grapes?"
"No."

The next day the duck walks into the same bar, "Hey you got any grapes?"
"No."

The next day the duck walks into the same bar, "Hey you got any grapes?"
"No!"

The next day the duck walks into the same bar, "Hey you got any grapes?"
"NO!!"

The next day the duck walks into the same bar, "Hey you got any grapes?"
"If you come in here tomorrow and ask for grapes I'll nail your beak to the bar."

The next day the duck walks into the same bar, "Hey you got any nails?"
"No."
"Got any grapes?"

It was a rather ordinary day for Ingrid the librarian. Slow going, as days at the library usually are. She breathes a sigh and continues back with her relentless task of stamping book cards at the checkout desk.

All of a sudden, she hears a light scratching sound somewhere closeby. Before she has time to think there's a loud, shrill cackle of "Book!" Looking around she doesn't see anyone, but soon hears it again.
"Book!"
Thinking it sounds like it's coming from down below, she peers over the edge of the counter and sees a chicken. Confused and bewildered, Ingrid looks from side to side, shakes her head and peers down again.
"Book!" demands the chicken.
Not knowing exactly what else to do, Ingrid cautiously takes a book off of her pile and hands it to the chicken. It takes it, places it under its wing and walks out of the library. Dumbfounded, Ingrid simply goes back to stamping cards.

Later in the day the library is similarly empty, and Ingrid is bored again stacking books. She's up on a ladder, when all of a sudden she hears "Book! Book!" A little spooked, she grasps the ladder tightly, looks back over her shoulder and what do you know, there's the chicken again.
"Book! Book!" it demands. Ingrid noticed it had brought back the book from earlier, and thought it wouldn't hurt to give this obviously responsible chicken another crack at some books. She reaches over and grabs two books for the chicken, lobs them to the ground, and again watches as the chicken picks them up and leaves.

As the library is about to close, Ingrid awaits the chicken to return, and sure enough it does. She watches it come in with the two books from before, walk up to the counter and exclaim "Book! Book! Book!" Ready this time, Ingrid gives it three new books, but decides to follow the chicken once it's left.
"What is this chicken doing with all these books?" Ingrid thinks to herself. So she follows it. It takes a quick road out of town and veers off of the road at a swamp. She wades in after it, keeping a safe distance, and watches as the chicken stops by a lily pad. A frog hops out of the water onto it. The chicken grabs the first book and shows it to the frog, exclaiming "Book!"
The frog, of course replies "Reddit..."
"Book!"
"Reddit..."
"Book!"
"Reddit..."

(Buck, ribbit, get it? baaaad joke)

Quote: Original post by game mercenary
(...numerous dead baby jokes...)

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

Depends on how thinly you slice them.

[Edited by - Mattman on May 27, 2005 11:51:17 AM]

Quote: Original post by boolean
guys, I know this is the bad jokes thread, but can we ease up on the dead baby jokes?

how mant hippie professers can you fit in a 11 seater van?
15 is you squeze tight, 35 if you use a wood chipper