A slightly expanded version of the outline, still probably not having much in the way of acts - personally I think those are the least important parts, but they shouldn't be too difficult to figure out once I understand what I want each character to be thinking and feeling at each point, and how it should all weave together. I'm a bit discouraged because I posted the previous version 3 different places and got no useful comments.



Learning To Kiss Dragons Plot Outline
(An original military fantasy erotic romance novel by Mare Kuntz, copyright 2003.)

plot diagram

Logline: Four misfits defy society's preconceptions and prejudices to become a family.

Act I (Mismatches)

Plot Strand A (Yellow/Green): Merru is translated into the body of a construct. A man who is used to cleverly weaving words and being treated like a prince, he is at a loss to find his mind suddenly dwelling in the body of a dragon-like alien, in a society of dragons where he can't understand the language and is treated like a dog. Fortunately Merru is very adaptable - he learns how to take advantage of being perceived as a dog, and through playing this role he becomes best friends with the teenage dragon Attranath. Although they come at it from different angles (Attranath being a teenage dragon who now must grow up into an adult dragon and Merru being an adult human who now must become an adult dragon), Attranath and Merru are both exploring the idea of 'how to be a man' (alpha male dragon) in both the social and sexual aspects of this question.

Attranath wants to please everyone, and tries to accomplish this by being what everyone says he should be and doing what everyone says he should do. Unfortunately this would mean sacrificing what would really make him happy to appease the preconceptions of the dragons' society. Merru, on the other hand, thinks that happiness is much more important than respectability. He wants to pursue fun and pleasure and he wants to help Attranath discover sex and come to understand himself as a submissive, but Merru doesn't want to get Attranath in trouble because he can't stand to see Attranath upset, and he doesn't want to scandalize Attranath because he wants Attranath's friendship and good opinion, he wants to deserve Attranath's trust and loyalty. Fortunately, Merru understands that society only really cares about appearances.

Together the two figure out how to seem respectable while quietly pursuing their not-so-respectable pleasures. Attranath learns from Merru that you can't just do what everyone tells you to do; you have to examine your personality and figure out what will make you happy, then go for it even though some people are going to be shocked. Merru learns to value Attranath's loyalty and commitment, and tries to emulate it by taking the role of a responsible older brother towards Attranath, but he still has a fear of commitment. And secrecy is a fragile protection; sooner or later they are going to get caught and they will have to confront society's disapproval.

Plot Strand B (Red/Blue): Ravennin dreams of becoming a clan leader, but is hobbled by his belief in others' assertions that he is flawed and dangerous (because of his hormonal disorder, hyperterritoriality), and his fear of social censure. Lieann wants to be admired and respected for his intelligence but is blocked by others' preconceptions about his gender (beta males) and homosexuality. Lieann cleverly plots to seduce Ravennin, which succeeds. Ravennin gains a little self-confidence from having a lover for the first time, but Lieann is too much more intelligent and daring than Ravennin to really respect him, and Lieann is not submissive and approving enough for Ravennin to really love him. Their relationship is stormy because they don't really feel affection for each other. But it is passionate and physically satisfying, and a learning experience for both of them, so or a while they settle for this.

Ravennin can't get societal approval so he settles for halfway being Lieann's leader and getting Lieann's approval, even though this gets him no closer to his goal; actually, if the relationship is discovered, he would be even more disapproved of and further from becoming a leader. He gains some interpersonal skills by learning that he isn't as dangerous as people think – he can get mad, even get into screaming arguments with Lieann without resorting to physical violence or hurting anyone. Ravennin also learns how to apologize without feeling humiliated and angry, and experiments with giving Lieann presents – showing his feelings through actions since he isn't good with words. But the constant fear of getting caught wears on him. Lieann can't get admiration and respect, so he settles for physical attraction and the opportunity to show off his intelligence by helping Ravennin. Lieann is realizing that he and Ravennin aren't really compatible, but this is unacceptable to the strategist in Lieann because Ravennin is what Lieann has to work with, and he's unlikely to ever get another opportunity like this. So Lieann builds an elaborate plan to earn Ravennin's love by giving him his dream of being a clan leader, at the same time trying to make Ravennin into someone he could respect and thus love and marry.

But Lieann's carefully crafted plan gets fouled up by Ravennin's lack of self-confidence and fear of doing anything weird, and Ravennin realizes that Lieann wanted to eventually marry him and make their relationship public, whereupon a huge scandal would ensue and Ravennin would never get the official approval he craves. So they break up. Lieann loses his idealism, concluding that no matter how clever he is, only using force will make the world give him what he needs. Ravennin, having tasted Lieann's approval but now friendless again, dives back more desperately than before into trying to do things the proper way and gain social approval.

Act II (Healing)

Crossover:
In some amusingly coincidental confusion related to a struggle between social factions, our twosomes get separated and switched around. (Change your partner do-si-do!)

Plot Strand C (Yellow/Blue): Lieann, after exhausting his patience trying to be sneaky and strategic in the first 2/5 of the book, has decided to take a more forceful approach and is looking rather dangerous and villainous. He uses this forceful method to acquire Merru. Both are now in a tense political situation which requires a lot of diplomatic lies and withholding of information which weaves a tangled web between and around them. Merru feel tremendous sympathy and some attraction toward Lieann, but is dubious about getting involved with a villain, especially since his fear of commitment makes him afraid of Lieann's possessiveness. He tries to fight his attraction for the sake of his responsibility to Attranath's best interests and the tense political situation, but these impersonal motivations pale in the face of Lieann's passionate bitterness and painful loneliness.

But once Merru gives in to his feelings, he immediately runs into the problem that he wants to heal Lieann, but a one night stand would just hurt Lieann more. The kind of love Lieann needs to regain his idealism would require Merru to make a huge commitment to Lieann, so Merru has to face his fear of commitment, and also balance his attraction to Lieann against his brotherly love for and responsibility to Attranath. Then Lieann doesn't believe that Merru could possibly love him; he has given up on the possibility that someone might actually love him and is afraid to start hoping for this again. He has to overcome his suspicions that Merru is a talented actor who is pretending to love Lieann so Lieann will free him. Working together against the mounting external threat of Ravennin's father's political faction helps them learn to commit to/trust each other and see how perfect they are for each other.

Plot Strand D (Red/Green): Ravennin and Attranath wind up together (how?). Attranath's rock-solid admiration of and confidence in Ravennin inspires Ravennin to regain some of his natural self-confidence. There is the initial dilemma that Ravennin has never slept with an alpha male before, and each thinks the other must be straight as an arrow, and fears risking their friendship by suggesting otherwise. Ravennin just got out of one socially unacceptable and not very fulfilling romance, and now his goal seems tantalizingly close; getting into a new relationship even more scandalous than the last isn't part of his plan. But they both have powerful instincts and, perhaps aided by some muskfroth, their relationship starts with a bang and keeps roaring along despite, or perhaps even fueled by, the pressures of keeping it a secret.

Ravennin risks his carefully cultivated but futile attempt to seem normal to be with Attranath and protect Attranath, and even allows himself to realize his anger at the futility of trying to win his father's approval and consider giving up that goal now that he has Attranath's loving approval instead. But there are blocking factors, like the fact that Attranath is already Merru's brothermate and Ravennin, not understanding that Merru isn't a dominant, doesn't want to 'poach'. Events still have to force Ravennin into choosing between Attranath and his father; Ravennin chooses Attranath, which results in his getting denounced and disinherited. The fear of social censure that has loomed throughout the first half of the book finally bursts into threatening bloom. This isn't all bad, because it frees Ravennin and Attranath to rejoin Merru and Lieann, and frees Ravennin to look at scandalous alternative means of becoming the leader of a independent clan because he has nothing left to lose and nowhere to go but up.

Act III (Family)

The four characters are reunited. Merru and Attranath want to live together as brother mates, which requires pulling Ravennin and Lieann into their little family. Ravennin and Lieann have to work through the residual pain of their failed relationship and salvage a friendship from the wreckage; also assorted jealousies and fears of abandonment must be soothed, as well as the question of whether Merru will respect Ravennin's dominance. Meanwhile, now that Merru and Lieann are working toward a common goal rather than using all their brainpower dueling against each other and have Ravennin's dream to use as a starting point, they come up with a crazy brilliant alternative method to proactively pursue founding a clan with Ravennin as Dominion. This time Ravennin throws all his instincts and energies towards this goal (and Attranath supports the other characters). Society has been feeling more and more as the plot progresses that its precious order is threatened by these chaotic misfits; now that they have combined forces and become highly visible, the threat has reached crisis proportions.

The 4 characters must work together as a team, using their four individual strengths of creativity, strategy, loyalty, and leadership to establish themselves as a clan and compel society to accept them. This probably involves acquiring a clan territory of some sort, magically creating or tuning a hatching room to the essence of their family (Attranath's loyalty is key here), and acquiring an egg or clutch of eggs to complete their family and ensure its future. Finally society gives up trying to refuse and deny them and grants the new clan official recognition. The introduction of Merru's human genes and traits into the dragon genepool has mythological significance, indicating that this is the start of the next step in the dragons' evolution. And they all live happily ever after, the end. :)

Even though I highly dispise the "and they'll live happily everafter" ends on a general basis, because nothing is ever as good as it seems, I think NOW you've reached a better understanding of your story.

Or maybe I did. Which wouldn't come close to making it easier for you.

Anyway.

Now that you've figured out the reactions, you can probably figure out the ACTIONS that triggered the reactions. If Ravennin is disavowed and disinherited because he has been reported, then your best bet is that someone has been spying on them, and because they were in competition for the title, the easiest and dirtiest way of getting rid of competitors is to get them out of the competition through denunciation. Which implies that you need finding WHAT is your competition, WHO are the other competitors, WHICH ONE will be devious enough to try to cheat on natural selection through reporting others wrongdoings, HOW to make him dispisable, and WHEN to introduce these characters. And it is highly probable that, to make your story understandable, you'll have to follow this character on a regular basis, to make your explanation plain, when time comes.

Plus, if you're going the High Fantasy route, I'd like to know WHAT is a construct, in this context. And HOW it came into existence, for a start. And HOW the dragons learned about the existence of Humans. Or maybe that was the other way around? Like in Silverberg's "Letters from Atlantis"?

See? I've still got plenty of questions...

And this is yet the beginning of them!!

Have fun!!

Lol - I think I reached a better understanding of act 3, while you reached a better understanding of act 1 and 2. ;)

Well, two of those questions I can answer:

- The dragons don't know about the existence of humans. They got Merru by accident and didn't know what he was until he learned to speak dragon and told them. They've never seen a human, and a human has never seen one of them.

- Going with the fantasy version (not high fantasy, more like merceedes lackey/harry potter fantasy) a construct is a magically suclpted body animated by a mind which has been magically stolen from an animal (or in this case a human). Do you know the myth of Pygmalion and Galatea? Pygmalion is a sculpter who sculpts his ideal woman and falls in love with the statue, so Aphrodite brings her to life for him. So, a dragon artist 'constructs' a body that looks like a dragon, and to bring it to life a dragon mage casts a spell which searches for an appropriate mind and pulls it into the body. This spell is like a search engine which only returns the first result - sometimes you get exactly what you want, and sometimes you have no idea what the hell the result has to do with your search terms.

So creating dragons through construct is a usual way of doing it? Or at least has it already been done? There are many more? What is their place in society? Pets? WEEIIIIIRD!!!


And, as I said, if you can figure out what the consequences are, be they emotional or other, you can also figure out what the actions that triggered them are.

good luck!!

Quote:

Original post by Fournicolas So creating dragons through construct is a usual way of doing it? Or at least has it already been done? There are many more? What is their place in society? Pets? WEEIIIIIRD!!! And, as I said, if you can figure out what the consequences are, be they emotional or other, you can also figure out what the actions that triggered them are. good luck!!

Constructs are definitely not dragons - they are the magical equivalent of androids. There are more - maybe one for every 6 dragons. They are treated like working animals who can do a wider variety of tasks because they have hands. They fill the roles of guard and hunting dogs, pack animals, and the more intelligent ones can do do simple serving tasks like delivering messages, fetching desired objects, carrying heavy bags, boxes, and buckets, working as field hands, and other unskilled labor. Presumably some are also trained to be living sex dolls; this would be more common for female constructs than male constructs like Merru.

Constructs can't reproduce so each one has to be sculpted and ensouled, making them fairly expensive to create - this is why there aren't more of them, and they are also expensive in that they must be fed and it takes time to train them, and they tend to run away and get in trouble when not supervised, just like you would expect animals to. Because of their expense and limited usefulness constructs are owned mostly by the military and large clans which need an unskilled labor pool for their factories, forests, and kitchens; and a few constructs are personal pets owned by nobles.


And yeah, I'm trying to work backwards from effects to causes; it's tough though, because there are so many possibilities.

Well, I'm not sureif this is progress or not - do you think this presents the story more in terms of actions and events, or is just a less detailed version of my last attempt?


Act I

Plot Strand A
Movement 1 – Merru and Attranath are at odds with Attranath as Merru's master, but then become good friends with Merru as Attranath's leader.
Movement 2 – They sleep together and decide to become brothermates but not lovers.

Plot Strand B
Movement 1 – Lieann seduces Ravennin and they become secret lovers
Movement 2 – Their relationship gets more and more dysfunctional and they break up.

Act II

Plot Strand A
Movement 1 – Lieann obtains Merru; Merru tries to resist, then give into, his attraction to Lieann and they sleep together.
Movement 2 – Lieann doubts that Merru could truly like him, and must be convinced of Merru's sincerity.

Plot Strand B
Movement 1 – Attranath and Ravennin work together, become lovers, and are stressed because they are with the wrong political faction.
Movement 2 – They come under suspicion, Ravennin chooses Attranath over the political faction, Ravennin is disinherited, and they rejoin Merru and Lieann.

Act III

Unified Plot
Movement 1 – As a team, the characters form a plan to acquire a territory and become an official clan and try to carry out this plan, but society resists.
Movement 2 – Creating an egg and a nesting room makes them a real family/clan, and they make society change from threatened to accepting.

Sounds good!!

But, of course, I have a few things to say about it...

"Merru and Attranath are at odds with Attranath as Merru's master, but then become good friends with Merru as Attranath's leader."
Would this mean that both of them are having difficulties accepting their respective positions? Why would this be? Because of their physical attraction? Sounds curious. I don't even know if there exists a possibility of this happening. If constructs can be used as sex puppets, then an owner should not feel particularly "at odds" by feeling that he should use it so, unless, of course that a male sex puppet is not encouraged. I am not taking into account the fact that both are male, of course, and that they are feeling at odds with the society at large with being homosexual. Feeling at odds means that there is probably something that they are doing and that they shouldn't.

If it is only about homosexuality, then they are not having trouble with their physical relation. And if they are having trouble with accepting their feelings towards each others (which I would find strange, in a Galatea/Pygmalion context)
then there is a chance that by simply freeing Attranath from slavery, or whatever term you choose to use, then it will simplify their relation. Unless, of course, Merru tok a part in the "creation" of the body, or in the calling of a soul to kinhabit it, and made an unvoluntary, or maybe even better, voluntary, mistake by calling in a soul which would be attracted to him, which would be a self-destructive behavior. But from what I gather, there isn't much in what is "out there" for him anyway, despite his rich family background. I think he was the one to have an older brother take him out too. Or was that lieann? Damn, it would all be so much more simple if I could remember all the details...


"Movement 2 – They come under suspicion, Ravennin chooses Attranath over the political faction, Ravennin is disinherited, and they rejoin Merru and Lieann."

Ok, this is going a little fast for me, so please forgive me for my slowness of mind. I can bite that Ravennin and Attranath are being eyed down by their formation or group. no problem there. But it seems that they are also eyed or spied on by the rest of the world, watching their trial with interest? There should be an explanation there. It can't just drop out of the sky, just like that. The disinheritance should also be explained, as I feel it goes a little against the tide of events. If Ravennin is trying desperately to create a new clan, it is most probably because he won't be the one inheriting the clan. So unless there is property NOT going along with the clan, there is nothing he would have inherited anyway, right or wrong?

And third and last problem with this sequence, What is the reason for them both to gang up with Merru and Lieann, apart from their past relationships with them, which, if I recall, both crashed down in flames? They have been thrown out of their respective groups, and have failed to grow something strong with them in the past. So what is the reason for them to go back to them and try again? Surely not love, for if it was still there, they wouldn't have parted in the first place. It is probable that it is not trust either, because Ravennin now HAS trust and self-confidence, through Attranath, which is why he chose to get out of his political faction. Could it be that it is Lieann who, once again, plots everything and tries to join, or rather form, a soon-to-be functional group? In which case, it would be better suited if the fact was stated the other way around as "Merru and Liean join them".



As for the third act, I think I would add a little more pathos in this, by doing it as a "do-or-die" part. From now on, their very existence is menaced by the rest of the society, because of both their homosexuality, their strang behavior towards "usable" construct, and their denial of defeat, which would be honorable behavior. Their only chance of surviving, simply, would be to hatch an eg. But since it can't be done through normal means, then it must be through magic. Tey ar ethen striving to do, and to create the magic room. Then they must hide it. Or better. I think it would be a greater move to hide it... in the middle of nowhere in particular! Since this "room" is simply an enclosed space, I suppose it can be enclosed by magic, which would shield them from sight and smell, and would probably dampen sounds too. A sort of alternate space within the normal one. The very obvious way of finding a room in a forest would be to find a cave, or a hollow trunk. Let them do that where no one will search them, like on the beach of a pond, or something. Make them act in an obviously irrational way, dragon-wise, but survivalist-wise it would be sound. Do what you're not supposed to, like.

So what do you think of my remarks?

Quote:

Original post by Fournicolas Sounds good!! But, of course, I have a few things to say about it... "Merru and Attranath are at odds with Attranath as Merru's master, but then become good friends with Merru as Attranath's leader." Would this mean that both of them are having difficulties accepting their respective positions? Why would this be? Because of their physical attraction? Sounds curious. I don't even know if there exists a possibility of this happening. If constructs can be used as sex puppets, then an owner should not feel particularly "at odds" by feeling that he should use it so, unless, of course that a male sex puppet is not encouraged. I am not taking into account the fact that both are male, of course, and that they are feeling at odds with the society at large with being homosexual. Feeling at odds means that there is probably something that they are doing and that they shouldn't.

They aren't having sex until movement 2. In movement 1 they are both uncomfortable with their respective positions because Attranath is a submissive who feels unnatural trying to order someone else around, even a dog, and Merru doesn't like being ordered around, he wants to be treated as an equal and asked politely.

Quote:

"Movement 2 – They come under suspicion, Ravennin chooses Attranath over the political faction, Ravennin is disinherited, and they rejoin Merru and Lieann." Ok, this is going a little fast for me, so please forgive me for my slowness of mind. I can bite that Ravennin and Attranath are being eyed down by their formation or group. no problem there. But it seems that they are also eyed or spied on by the rest of the world, watching their trial with interest? There should be an explanation there. It can't just drop out of the sky, just like that. The disinheritance should also be explained, as I feel it goes a little against the tide of events. If Ravennin is trying desperately to create a new clan, it is most probably because he won't be the one inheriting the clan. So unless there is property NOT going along with the clan, there is nothing he would have inherited anyway, right or wrong?

It is only Ravennin's father's faction that is always suspicious of Ravennin. This is because Ravennin's father fears and is embarrassed by Ravennin. So Ravennin's father has been looking for the chance to cast Ravennin out of the clan for a long time. You can be disinherited even if you're not the direct heir.

Quote:

And third and last problem with this sequence, What is the reason for them both to gang up with Merru and Lieann, apart from their past relationships with them, which, if I recall, both crashed down in flames?

Eh? No, Merru and Attranath have a great relationship, they're like blood brothers. And Ravennin and Lieann broke up, but Lieann is the only friend Ravennin's ever had except for his sister, and thus the only place Ravennin could go for help. Ravennin has been thrown out of his father's group, so it makes sense for him to switch sides, and conveniently Lieann is on the other side. Lieann has not been thrown out of anything - he and his faction have captured Merru, theus they are both with Lieann's faction when Ravennin and Attranath show up asking for sanctuary. I can see why this is confusing though - I haven't figured it out fully myself, and what I had figured out, I hadn't explained to you yet.


As for pathos, well, don't you think it would be kind of uneven to have people's lives suddenly be in danger in act 3 when for the first two acts it's the danger of scandal that everyone has been afraid of? And since I don't want to write about anyone trying to kill anyone else, how would their lives be in danger? I agree that hatching the egg must be the answer to the threat against them... but how and why would an egg solve anything?

Maybe the reason why their lives are in danger is because there is a real need to belong to a family clan? Maybe the outcasts, not belonging to any group, cannot find their means of subsistance outside of it, partly because you need to be able to go hunting while not being backed up and finding your own cave not inhabited by someone else, so having friends is definitely the easiest way of doing it, but you simply don't make friends with outcasts as a rule. Now again, if they are transgressing the taboos and making friends with outcasts from the start, they might already better their chances of surviving, as a group and as individuals.

But maybe hatching an egg is something that can only happe in a group. Maybe you should devise a way of having the members of the group relaying one another on heating/nesting it, in order to offer the best chances of group survival. And since one of them knew enough of magic to magically create an egg, then maybe he can also magically heat it? This would make things a lot simpler for each member of the group could participate in sustaining the others? Maybe the one supposed to maintain the magic room is the only one not to go hunting and protecting?

Maybe this is what a family is, at the core, and why in the end, they cannot be parted? because they are functional and functioning?

I agree that it should be the functionality of their family that maes them safe from being separated. I still don't know exactly how their functionality as a family protects them though. Possibly it should have something to do with their territory being magically tuned to their essence. Would it be too easy if their territory had a magical barrier against the entry of anyone hostile to the family or the egg?



Alright, what do you make of this attempt at an outline of events for the first chunk of the novel?


Plot Strand A, Movement 1 – Merru's high opinion of himself and Attranath's submissiveness put them at odds when Attranath is assigned to be Merru's master. Attranath's respect for Merru's intelligence and Merru's empathy for Attranath's convince them to treat each other as equals instead, which allows them to become good friends.

- Merru is dropped into the dragons' world, and the Dragons treat him like a dog.

- Attranath is a teenager who does what everybody tells him to do, because he wants to make everyone happy. But some tasks or roles, such as giving orders, make Attranath uncomfortable. So he is torn when Merru is assigned to him to train and command. Merru does not like the way dominant alpha males arrogantly order him around; his resistance makes Attranath crumble and beg Merru to cooperate; this flatters Merru and makes him pity Attranath, so Merru cooperates.

- Being locked in a cage offends Merru's dignity and is terribly boring, so Merru studies the methods and possible consequences of escaping. He learns to take advantage of being considered a dog to pursue pleasures (chocolate chip cookies, playing in the playroom, drawing supplies) and escape punishments (for getting out of his cage, wandering around where he's not supposed to be, and stealing things he want).

- Attranath finds that treating Merru as an equal and asking him nicely to do things is both more comfortable and more effective, but the dominant alpha males tease him about it and suggest that it's bad for Merru to no discipline him. So Attranath makes another attempt at strictly following the rules with Merru. Merru feels betrayed and angry about this reversal in Attranath's attitude, and determines to teach Attranath what it feels like to be in his position by sneakily locking Attranath in his cage. But when Attranath finds himself locked in the cage he has a panic attack imagining how humiliating it will be when the other alpha males find him. He falls to his knees and bursts into tears. Merru, alarmed, hurriedly unlocks the door and grabs Attranath into a hug, soothing him. This is the point at which Merru decides to trade the freedom of being a construct who can't be held responsible for anything for the responsibility of being Attranath's best friend. The two become inseparable, and Attranath never tries to force Merru to do anything again – rather than putting Merru back in the cage, Merru starts sleeping chastely cuddled in Attranath's nest with him.

- Merru has adjusted to seeing dragons as people rather than aliens, and is starting to feel sexually frustrated. Conveniently, he discovers the existence of beta males and that they will have sex with him (or at least one was willing to, so other may be also).

- Unfortunately he finds out shortly afterward that there is a huge amount of prejudice against beta males and it's unheard of for an alpha male to sleep with one. Merru worries about the danger to Attranath's reputation and the danger of losing Attranath's friendship if Merru pursues sleeping with beta males. But Merru is still lonely, and being a popular playboy is an important part of his human identity that he wants to reclaim.

- Attranath is disturbed to realize that he likes cuddling with Merru a lot and doesn't want to give it up. Then an event occurs which makes him suddenly see Merru as a person rather than an animal, and not just Attranath's equal but potentially his superior. Attranath's craving for affection emerges as full-blown attraction to Merru, despite Attranath's denial. Possibly Attranath has a memory or dream of a past event relevant to homosexuality.