Yeah, I'm leaning towards pure fantasy at the moment, but I'm still thinking about it.

I did make an initial plot diagram if you want to look; may be confusing if you're not familiar with Dramatica terms though. Kissing Dragons Plot Diagram

It seems to make sense, although it lacks what I feel is essential in a plot diagram, ie elements of plot and action...

Quote: Original post by Fournicolas
...although it lacks what I feel is essential in a plot diagram, ie elements of plot...

Lol. There are plot elements there, really! ;) Each of the little arrows (->) signifies how a character changes as the result of a plot turning point (the mini-climax of each act). The plot turning points themselves just aren't listed in the diagram yet because they're harder to explain. I'm currently trying to put them in the next, more expanded version of the plot outline.

I made my decision about the worldbuilding - I'm going to go with the historical fantasy version because I think that gives a better opportunity to explore the dragons' culture without humans or technology clouding the picture. I can always have humans make first contact with the dragons in a sequel if I want to add those elements later.

In other news I was just accepted to an IRL critique group, and they invited me to bring my plot outline for them at the next meeting, 2 weeks from now. ^_^ So hopefully I can make some serious progress this upcoming week at expanding the outline and adding details to it. When the next version of the outline is done (maybe tomorrow evening or the next day), I'll post it here for you to critique, ok? :)

Let's rock, baby! YEAAHH!!!!

Sorry. Sounds good for you, though...

And when I said that it lacked elements of action and story, well... It does have the characters, and it does have their results. But there is nothing telling WHAT it is they have achieved, and there is nothing telling in WHAT KIND OF WORLD they are living, and there is nothing telling what ARE the turning points of the story, and there is nothing telling HOW it affects them or the rest of the world... Well, you get the picture. What you present there is the shortest versino of the analysis of a story I have ever seen. But for the life of me, I am absolutely unable to create a story from what is there. Theoretically, from your diagram, if anyone came up with it, I should be able to tell what is happening, where it is happening, How it is happening, who and whom, what with, why, you know, the sort of questions you ask yourselves when you try to understand what happened and why. The very same thing as a police definition of a story, but written in advance, this time.

But all I can gather from what you produced is what results you want it to have and what effects on the reader it should have. I can't have it as a "plot outline", because, well, there is no hint of a plot. I can tell that some characters are going to pair, and then the pairs will waltz, and then they will come as a group, and then they will come as a UNITED group, "having overcome all prejudices" as it comes. Again, there is no how, no where, no who, no what, no when, no nothing, only the very clinical results of something that still doesn't have flesh. It terribly lacks much. I feel, at least. Sorry again.

Plot isn't about the details and flesh - that's story. Plot is the skeleton, the rhythm of change throughout the story, starting from the creation of the initial imbalance, building up through several turning points, peaking at the climax, and returned to balance in the resolution. But anyway, here's the outline with the first level of flesh added to the bones, please tell me what you think. :)



Learning To Kiss Dragons Plot Outline, Mare Kuntz

Act I (Mismatches)

Plot Strand A: Merru is translated into the body of a construct and becomes 'best friends with benefits' with Attranath. Although they come at it from different angles (Attranath being a teenage dragon who now must grow up into an adult dragon and Merru being an adult human who now has to become an adult dragon), Attranath and Merru are both exploring the idea of 'how to be a man' (alpha male dragon) in both the social and sexual aspects of this question. Attranath learns from Merru that you can't just do what everyone tells you to do, you have to examine your personality and figure out what will make you happy, then go for it even though some people are going to be shocked. Merru learns to value Attranath's loyalty and commitment, and tries to emulate it by taking the role of a responsible older brother towards Attranath, but he still has a fear of commitment.

Plot Strand B: Ravennin dreams of becoming a clan leader, but is hobbled by his belief in others' assertions that he is flawed and dangerous, and his fear of censure. Lieann cleverly plots to seduce Ravennin and make him a clan leader, but his plans get fouled up by Ravennin's lack of self-confidence and fear of doing anything weird. Ravennin gains a little self-confidence from having a lover for the first time, but Lieann is too much more intelligent and daring than Ravennin to really respect him, and Lieann is not submissive and approving enough for Ravennin to really love him. So they break up. Lieann loses his idealism, concluding that no matter how clever he is, only using force will make the world give him what he needs. Ravennin, having tasted Lieann's approval but now friendless again, dives back more desperately than before into trying to do things the proper way and gain social approval.

Act II (Healing)

Plot Strand C: Lieann forcefully acquires Merru. Both are in a tense political situation which requires a lot of diplomatic lies and withholding of information which weaves a tangled web between and around them. Merru feel tremendous sympathy and some attraction toward Lieann; he tries to fight his attraction for the sake of his responsibility to Attranath's best interests and the tense political situation, but these impersonal motivations pale in the face of Lieann's passionate bitterness and painful loneliness. But once Merru gives in to his feelings, he immediately runs into the problem that he wants to heal Lieann, but a one night stand would just hurt Lieann more. The kind of love Lieann needs to regain his idealism would require Merru to make a huge commitment to Lieann, so Merru has to face his fear of commitment, and also balance his attraction to Lieann against his brotherly love for and responsibility to Attranath. Then Lieann doesn't believe that Merru could possibly love him, so he has to overcome his suspicions that Merru is a talented actor who is pretending to love Lieann so Lieann will free him.

Plot Strand D: Ravennin and Attranath wind up together (how?). Attranath's rock-solid admiration of and confidence in Ravennin inspires Ravennin to regain some of his natural self-confidence. There is the initial dilemma that Ravennin has never slept with an alpha male before, and each thinks the other must be straight as an arrow. But they both have powerful instincts and, perhaps aided by some muskfroth, their relationship starts with a bang and keeps roaring along despite, or perhaps even fueled by, the pressures of keeping it a secret. Ravennin risks his carefully cultivated but futile attempt to seem normal to be with Attranath and protect Attranath, and even allows himself to realize his anger at the futility of trying to win his father's approval and consider giving up that goal now that he has Attranath's loving approval instead. But there are blocking factors, like the fact that Attranath is already Merru's brothermate and Ravennin, not understanding that Merru isn't a dominant, doesn't want to 'poach'. Events still have to force Ravennin into defying his father, getting disinherited, and finally claiming his place as an independent Dominion.

Act III (Family)

The four characters are reunited and, after some initial residual hurt between Lieann and Ravennin and assorted jealousies and fears of abandonment have been dealt with, they decide to be a family. Lieann and Merru come up with a brilliant off-the-wall plan to proactively pursue founding a clan with Ravennin as Dominion, and this time Ravennin throws all his instincts and energies towards this goal (and Attranath supports the other characters). Society has been feeling more and more as the plot progresses that its precious order is threatened by these chaotic misfits; now that they have combined forces and become highly visible, the threat has reached crisis proportions. The 4 characters must work together as a team, using their four individual strengths of creativity, strategy, loyalty, and leadership to establish themselves as a clan and compel society to accept them. This probably involves acquiring a clan territory of some sort, magically creating or tuning a hatching room to the essence of their family (Attranath's loyalty is key here), and acquiring an egg or clutch of eggs to complete their family and ensure its future. Finally society gives up trying to refuse and deny them and grants the new clan official recognition. The introduction of Merru's human genes and traits into the dragon genepool has mythological significance, indicating that this is the start of the next step in the dragons' evolution.

[Edited by - sunandshadow on June 6, 2005 3:06:18 PM]

I don't know why, but I feel that only the third and last part is fleshed out, for having facts thrown in, and things happening actually described. WIth words too!

The first two parts are, in my opinion, lacking ACTS, anything happening outside the characters being juggled with by their internal feelings towards themselves and the rest. But it does sound like you're enjoying this very much...

A slightly expanded version of the outline, still probably not having much in the way of acts - personally I think those are the least important parts, but they shouldn't be too difficult to figure out once I understand what I want each character to be thinking and feeling at each point, and how it should all weave together. I'm a bit discouraged because I posted the previous version 3 different places and got no useful comments.



Learning To Kiss Dragons Plot Outline
(An original military fantasy erotic romance novel by Mare Kuntz, copyright 2003.)

plot diagram

Logline: Four misfits defy society's preconceptions and prejudices to become a family.

Act I (Mismatches)

Plot Strand A (Yellow/Green): Merru is translated into the body of a construct. A man who is used to cleverly weaving words and being treated like a prince, he is at a loss to find his mind suddenly dwelling in the body of a dragon-like alien, in a society of dragons where he can't understand the language and is treated like a dog. Fortunately Merru is very adaptable - he learns how to take advantage of being perceived as a dog, and through playing this role he becomes best friends with the teenage dragon Attranath. Although they come at it from different angles (Attranath being a teenage dragon who now must grow up into an adult dragon and Merru being an adult human who now must become an adult dragon), Attranath and Merru are both exploring the idea of 'how to be a man' (alpha male dragon) in both the social and sexual aspects of this question.

Attranath wants to please everyone, and tries to accomplish this by being what everyone says he should be and doing what everyone says he should do. Unfortunately this would mean sacrificing what would really make him happy to appease the preconceptions of the dragons' society. Merru, on the other hand, thinks that happiness is much more important than respectability. He wants to pursue fun and pleasure and he wants to help Attranath discover sex and come to understand himself as a submissive, but Merru doesn't want to get Attranath in trouble because he can't stand to see Attranath upset, and he doesn't want to scandalize Attranath because he wants Attranath's friendship and good opinion, he wants to deserve Attranath's trust and loyalty. Fortunately, Merru understands that society only really cares about appearances.

Together the two figure out how to seem respectable while quietly pursuing their not-so-respectable pleasures. Attranath learns from Merru that you can't just do what everyone tells you to do; you have to examine your personality and figure out what will make you happy, then go for it even though some people are going to be shocked. Merru learns to value Attranath's loyalty and commitment, and tries to emulate it by taking the role of a responsible older brother towards Attranath, but he still has a fear of commitment. And secrecy is a fragile protection; sooner or later they are going to get caught and they will have to confront society's disapproval.

Plot Strand B (Red/Blue): Ravennin dreams of becoming a clan leader, but is hobbled by his belief in others' assertions that he is flawed and dangerous (because of his hormonal disorder, hyperterritoriality), and his fear of social censure. Lieann wants to be admired and respected for his intelligence but is blocked by others' preconceptions about his gender (beta males) and homosexuality. Lieann cleverly plots to seduce Ravennin, which succeeds. Ravennin gains a little self-confidence from having a lover for the first time, but Lieann is too much more intelligent and daring than Ravennin to really respect him, and Lieann is not submissive and approving enough for Ravennin to really love him. Their relationship is stormy because they don't really feel affection for each other. But it is passionate and physically satisfying, and a learning experience for both of them, so or a while they settle for this.

Ravennin can't get societal approval so he settles for halfway being Lieann's leader and getting Lieann's approval, even though this gets him no closer to his goal; actually, if the relationship is discovered, he would be even more disapproved of and further from becoming a leader. He gains some interpersonal skills by learning that he isn't as dangerous as people think – he can get mad, even get into screaming arguments with Lieann without resorting to physical violence or hurting anyone. Ravennin also learns how to apologize without feeling humiliated and angry, and experiments with giving Lieann presents – showing his feelings through actions since he isn't good with words. But the constant fear of getting caught wears on him. Lieann can't get admiration and respect, so he settles for physical attraction and the opportunity to show off his intelligence by helping Ravennin. Lieann is realizing that he and Ravennin aren't really compatible, but this is unacceptable to the strategist in Lieann because Ravennin is what Lieann has to work with, and he's unlikely to ever get another opportunity like this. So Lieann builds an elaborate plan to earn Ravennin's love by giving him his dream of being a clan leader, at the same time trying to make Ravennin into someone he could respect and thus love and marry.

But Lieann's carefully crafted plan gets fouled up by Ravennin's lack of self-confidence and fear of doing anything weird, and Ravennin realizes that Lieann wanted to eventually marry him and make their relationship public, whereupon a huge scandal would ensue and Ravennin would never get the official approval he craves. So they break up. Lieann loses his idealism, concluding that no matter how clever he is, only using force will make the world give him what he needs. Ravennin, having tasted Lieann's approval but now friendless again, dives back more desperately than before into trying to do things the proper way and gain social approval.

Act II (Healing)

Crossover:
In some amusingly coincidental confusion related to a struggle between social factions, our twosomes get separated and switched around. (Change your partner do-si-do!)

Plot Strand C (Yellow/Blue): Lieann, after exhausting his patience trying to be sneaky and strategic in the first 2/5 of the book, has decided to take a more forceful approach and is looking rather dangerous and villainous. He uses this forceful method to acquire Merru. Both are now in a tense political situation which requires a lot of diplomatic lies and withholding of information which weaves a tangled web between and around them. Merru feel tremendous sympathy and some attraction toward Lieann, but is dubious about getting involved with a villain, especially since his fear of commitment makes him afraid of Lieann's possessiveness. He tries to fight his attraction for the sake of his responsibility to Attranath's best interests and the tense political situation, but these impersonal motivations pale in the face of Lieann's passionate bitterness and painful loneliness.

But once Merru gives in to his feelings, he immediately runs into the problem that he wants to heal Lieann, but a one night stand would just hurt Lieann more. The kind of love Lieann needs to regain his idealism would require Merru to make a huge commitment to Lieann, so Merru has to face his fear of commitment, and also balance his attraction to Lieann against his brotherly love for and responsibility to Attranath. Then Lieann doesn't believe that Merru could possibly love him; he has given up on the possibility that someone might actually love him and is afraid to start hoping for this again. He has to overcome his suspicions that Merru is a talented actor who is pretending to love Lieann so Lieann will free him. Working together against the mounting external threat of Ravennin's father's political faction helps them learn to commit to/trust each other and see how perfect they are for each other.

Plot Strand D (Red/Green): Ravennin and Attranath wind up together (how?). Attranath's rock-solid admiration of and confidence in Ravennin inspires Ravennin to regain some of his natural self-confidence. There is the initial dilemma that Ravennin has never slept with an alpha male before, and each thinks the other must be straight as an arrow, and fears risking their friendship by suggesting otherwise. Ravennin just got out of one socially unacceptable and not very fulfilling romance, and now his goal seems tantalizingly close; getting into a new relationship even more scandalous than the last isn't part of his plan. But they both have powerful instincts and, perhaps aided by some muskfroth, their relationship starts with a bang and keeps roaring along despite, or perhaps even fueled by, the pressures of keeping it a secret.

Ravennin risks his carefully cultivated but futile attempt to seem normal to be with Attranath and protect Attranath, and even allows himself to realize his anger at the futility of trying to win his father's approval and consider giving up that goal now that he has Attranath's loving approval instead. But there are blocking factors, like the fact that Attranath is already Merru's brothermate and Ravennin, not understanding that Merru isn't a dominant, doesn't want to 'poach'. Events still have to force Ravennin into choosing between Attranath and his father; Ravennin chooses Attranath, which results in his getting denounced and disinherited. The fear of social censure that has loomed throughout the first half of the book finally bursts into threatening bloom. This isn't all bad, because it frees Ravennin and Attranath to rejoin Merru and Lieann, and frees Ravennin to look at scandalous alternative means of becoming the leader of a independent clan because he has nothing left to lose and nowhere to go but up.

Act III (Family)

The four characters are reunited. Merru and Attranath want to live together as brother mates, which requires pulling Ravennin and Lieann into their little family. Ravennin and Lieann have to work through the residual pain of their failed relationship and salvage a friendship from the wreckage; also assorted jealousies and fears of abandonment must be soothed, as well as the question of whether Merru will respect Ravennin's dominance. Meanwhile, now that Merru and Lieann are working toward a common goal rather than using all their brainpower dueling against each other and have Ravennin's dream to use as a starting point, they come up with a crazy brilliant alternative method to proactively pursue founding a clan with Ravennin as Dominion. This time Ravennin throws all his instincts and energies towards this goal (and Attranath supports the other characters). Society has been feeling more and more as the plot progresses that its precious order is threatened by these chaotic misfits; now that they have combined forces and become highly visible, the threat has reached crisis proportions.

The 4 characters must work together as a team, using their four individual strengths of creativity, strategy, loyalty, and leadership to establish themselves as a clan and compel society to accept them. This probably involves acquiring a clan territory of some sort, magically creating or tuning a hatching room to the essence of their family (Attranath's loyalty is key here), and acquiring an egg or clutch of eggs to complete their family and ensure its future. Finally society gives up trying to refuse and deny them and grants the new clan official recognition. The introduction of Merru's human genes and traits into the dragon genepool has mythological significance, indicating that this is the start of the next step in the dragons' evolution. And they all live happily ever after, the end. :)

Even though I highly dispise the "and they'll live happily everafter" ends on a general basis, because nothing is ever as good as it seems, I think NOW you've reached a better understanding of your story.

Or maybe I did. Which wouldn't come close to making it easier for you.

Anyway.

Now that you've figured out the reactions, you can probably figure out the ACTIONS that triggered the reactions. If Ravennin is disavowed and disinherited because he has been reported, then your best bet is that someone has been spying on them, and because they were in competition for the title, the easiest and dirtiest way of getting rid of competitors is to get them out of the competition through denunciation. Which implies that you need finding WHAT is your competition, WHO are the other competitors, WHICH ONE will be devious enough to try to cheat on natural selection through reporting others wrongdoings, HOW to make him dispisable, and WHEN to introduce these characters. And it is highly probable that, to make your story understandable, you'll have to follow this character on a regular basis, to make your explanation plain, when time comes.

Plus, if you're going the High Fantasy route, I'd like to know WHAT is a construct, in this context. And HOW it came into existence, for a start. And HOW the dragons learned about the existence of Humans. Or maybe that was the other way around? Like in Silverberg's "Letters from Atlantis"?

See? I've still got plenty of questions...

And this is yet the beginning of them!!

Have fun!!

Lol - I think I reached a better understanding of act 3, while you reached a better understanding of act 1 and 2. ;)

Well, two of those questions I can answer:

- The dragons don't know about the existence of humans. They got Merru by accident and didn't know what he was until he learned to speak dragon and told them. They've never seen a human, and a human has never seen one of them.

- Going with the fantasy version (not high fantasy, more like merceedes lackey/harry potter fantasy) a construct is a magically suclpted body animated by a mind which has been magically stolen from an animal (or in this case a human). Do you know the myth of Pygmalion and Galatea? Pygmalion is a sculpter who sculpts his ideal woman and falls in love with the statue, so Aphrodite brings her to life for him. So, a dragon artist 'constructs' a body that looks like a dragon, and to bring it to life a dragon mage casts a spell which searches for an appropriate mind and pulls it into the body. This spell is like a search engine which only returns the first result - sometimes you get exactly what you want, and sometimes you have no idea what the hell the result has to do with your search terms.

So creating dragons through construct is a usual way of doing it? Or at least has it already been done? There are many more? What is their place in society? Pets? WEEIIIIIRD!!!


And, as I said, if you can figure out what the consequences are, be they emotional or other, you can also figure out what the actions that triggered them are.

good luck!!