I don''t know, but why guys with computers has the lowest self-esteem? Because they are different and they won''t dance with the peer? There is nothing wrong with spending 10h with comp if you are not addict or maniac. Humans love symmetry, good look, muscles, strong soft shapes and 60% of relationships starts with being delighted to someone, mostly by looks. Then comes the inner depth (this is not the thing what I trust, It sucks btw, It makes you just crippled and you can''t work normally anymore) orther way is realationships, but I quess I''m not ready for long relationship, actually i hate them right now and I just don''t know why. I''m afraid of losing independence and freedom to do whatever you want? I quess...

I perhaps once I again wrote stuff where someone comse to say you don''t deserve girl...I guess...so...


Time comes, time goes and I only am.

Wulfe, try some chinese qi gong controlled breathing techniques (sounds strange i know, but bear with me). Look it up on yahoo or somethin. You just meditate for about a minute before you give your speech. it will make you focused and concentrated. I get nervous when I give a speech in front of an audience too, but this really helps you get started, and once you''ve been talking for a few seconds usually everything after that will go smoothly.

As for your "lack" of friends, don''t worry about it man, its quality, not quantity that counts. I only have about 3 or 4 "good" friends, you don''t really need more than that. Just be yourself, try to dress nicely, maybe get some cool hair, and you''ll get respect. Don''t be known as the guy who acts fake; be yourself, you''ll get more respect that way. I only really like to spend time and hang out with a couple of my friends, but I''m popular in school. I haven''t always been. I found the secret is to be happy and use what you''ve got, and exert some self-confidence. Be happy with the friends you''ve got. If you don''t hang out with the "cool" kids, don''t fret over it. They probably aren''t good for you anyways. You''ve got to be satisfied with your friends and don''t be ashamed of them. When you can do this, then you can have confidence. People can sense this in you. When you are strong in character and tell yourself you don''t need superficial friendships with the popular people, people will look at you and think "Hey, he''s cool. He''s real, doing his own thing."

Also, you''re smart, use that. If someone asks you for help with their homework, use that as a chance to get to know him/her.

Sometimes its good to have some time on your own. When you are in solitude, you get time to get to know yourself. Just listen to yourself think sometimes, and develop a love for yourself. That''s what most important, because friends will fail you, but there''s always at least one person who is there for you: yourself. and maybe God, but i won''t get into that =)

-Ji Zheng

quote: Original post by Anonymous Poster

As for your "lack" of friends, don''t worry about it man, its quality, not quantity that counts.

Just be yourself, try to dress nicely, maybe get some cool hair, and you''ll get respect.

Don''t be known as the guy who acts fake; be yourself, you''ll get more respect that way.

I found the secret is to be happy and use what you''ve got, and exert some self-confidence.

You''ve got to be satisfied with your friends and don''t be ashamed of them. When you can do this, then you can have confidence. People can sense this in you. When you are strong in character and tell yourself you don''t need superficial friendships with the popular people, people will look at you and think "Hey, he''s cool. He''s real, doing his own thing."

Also, you''re smart, use that. If someone asks you for help with their homework, use that as a chance to get to know him/her.

Sometimes its good to have some time on your own. When you are in solitude, you get time to get to know yourself. Just listen to yourself think sometimes, and develop a love for yourself. That''s what most important, because friends will fail you, but there''s always at least one person who is there for you: yourself. and maybe God, but i won''t get into that =)

-Ji Zheng

Wow, ditto. That IS the meaning of life, it just seems weird that it would show up in a thread like this.

Well thanks guys, you have given me some quality advice, and looking back on my original reply i believe I may have revealed alittle *too* much about myself, but all of what I said is true . It is very easy to say "just bit the bullet and do it", but it is not as easy as this and it''s not as if I haven''t tried. I don''t quite now what went wrong with me. Why are some people unbeleivably shy, whilst others can go up to complete strangers, and not mind if they are laughed at? It can''t be in the upbringing, as I have a sister only one year older who is more confident than most people, so what is it? Is it natural?

I have been surfing the net looking for help since my last post (I told myself more things than I wanted to know), and I came across losts of sites and one off article, and one of them suggested that I just start small and slowly build up my confidence, and then everything will gradulay get better. The only problem is, where do I start.

Sorry for keep loading this on you, but I find human beings are easier to *type* to than *talk* to - sad isn''t it.

- Wulfe
A sad, lonely boy.

Just be content with what God has given you. If you are denied social skills in exchange for computer programming skill, its a fair exchange don''t you think. Besides the studs in high school aren''t so cool when their failing Calculus in college.



ECKILLER

Okay, I''ll give my own one-and-a-half cents here. I just want to say that for some of you "nerds," there is no hope--at least in high school, or even college. You may NEVER find Somebody to Love. Yes, I am giving the bad news first. So, here''s the good news: WHY you may be alone your whole life. Even, why you may be rejected by all the popular kids forever. It''s because everyone else is intimidated by your intelligence. The jocks, knowing of nothing in life besides sports (and maybe 10% of them will ever go beyond high-school baseball), look at you and see someone that has more choices in life than you can kick dirt at. Honestly, the only thing most of them have going for them is looks (or not) and "athletic ability." How far will that get you in life, espically when you''ve been in a car accident, you lost your left leg, and your face is utterly smashed?
"Nerds," on the other hand, have a lot more going for them. The computer industry is constantly growing...and the gameing industry is perhaps even better. "Nerds" have abilities in programming, problem-solving, sometimes even management...anything that "nerds" do is a potential job in the future.

Also, I spent most of my life that I can remember wanting a girlfriend. I HAVE had two good relationships (about 6 months and 8 months)...but I''ve also been turned down by probably 100 girls (to include one of my ex-girlfriends!). After my second relationship, I decided I was just gonna forget relationships completely ("Well, I''ll date sometimes, I guess...but NO relationships!"). Now...I almost ALWAYS have a girl with me...but none of the girls I hang with are interested in me (as far as I know of...although I HAVE had hints of something like that from time to time). Of course...that may also have some to do with my getting out more recently--generally going to parties and raves.

Anyhow...I think I wanted to say something else, but I forgot what it was. So...with that, good day!


P h a n t a s m
"Through dreams I control mankind."
--Legend

Hello I''m a nerd and I have no friends. I don''t want any help. I don''t mind being called a nerd it doesn''t matter really just as long as you don''t say anything to me. Nobody listens to me. I can think of replies. Apparently it''s my fault noone likes me. I never believed that. You all think I''m mad, don''t you? Well I can tell you now that I''m mad, quite mad. Now stop bothering me.

Hey, you, you unregistered poster who says all nerds are homosexuals, I''m going to find out who you are and I''m going to kill you. I''m not joking. Step away from the computer sir. I''m the same person who posted above.

Actually, Phantasm is wrong about jocks being in a bad position when it comes to choosing employments. The authorities in engineering career management (Dilbert) say that while it takes years of education and perhaps some intellectual capacity to become an engineer, it takes neither of those qualities to become the boss of an engineer. So face it, us nerds/engineers got screwed by the jocks/bosses in that area too.

Henry

Yeah I get girlfriends. it''s kinda lame though, becuase all of the girls in my school are either slutty/trendy/mtv-engulfed bitches who don''t understand anything about computers and get scared away by my nerdiness at computers. it''s pathetic, I was in telnet one time, and people think I''m a 1337 hax0r. Oh well. Back to programming...er trying to program

We shall be free; th'' Almighty hath not build here for his ervy, will not drive us hence: Here we may reign secure and in my choyce To reign is worth ambition though in Hell: Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heav''n.