wow...just...wow [lol]

Quote: Original post by benryves

Quote: Original post by skittleo
How do you fit an elephant onto a subway....?
... You take the 's' out of sub and the 'f' out of way.

I don't get it. [embarrass]

No no, it only works when you say it for one. It's "How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag? You take the S out of Safe and the F out of way." Just about everyone who hears that replies with the punchline.

Saying "subway" is just stupid, an elephant can fit in a subway just fine.

(Safeway is a grocery store)

[Edited by - T1Oracle on January 16, 2006 10:56:42 PM]

Two penguins are taking a bath.
One says to the other, "Could you pass the soap?"
The other says, "What do you think I am, a flashlight?"

A dog walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, "could I have a rocks of scotch, please?"

The bartender replies, "Well, we don't serve animals here, fella. Sorry, but you have to leave."

The dog replied, "Okay, then, just a beer would be fine."

The bartender raises his voice a bit, "Sir, I just said, we don't serve animals here."

The dog says, "Well, fine then. Just give me a coke please."

The bartender yelled, "For the last time, we don't serve animals!" And he picked up a gun from behind the bar and shot the dog in the foot.

And the dog got up and hobbled out of the bar.

Six months later, the same dog walks back into the bar, grabs the bartender by the collar and says, "I'm lookin for the guy that shot my paw."

------------------------------

Father O'Malley was sitting on the steps out in the front of the cathedral having a smoke, and the Rabbi from the temple across the street walks up to him.

The Rabbi said, "My friend and neigbor for 30 years, and not once have I seen the Catholic Church."

Father says, "Well, shame on me. My friend and neighbor for 30 years and I've never showed ya the church. Well, com right in, and I'll show ya around."

Father took the Rabbi to the confessional, and told him, "Now this is where we straighten things out here."

A woman came in and said, "Forgive me father, but I've committed adultery three times."

The Father told her, "Oh, put 5 dollars in the poorbox and your sins will be forgiven."

Another woman came in with the same thing, "Adultery three times."

The father, again said, "Oh, 5 dollars in the poorbox."

Then, a little boy came in and said, "Father, you have a long distance call in the rectory."

Father looked at his watch and said, "Oh, Lord. I'll be late for the BINGO game. Well, you seen how we do things here, Rabbi. Could ya take over for me until I get back?"

So the Father went off, five minutes later, a woman came in and said, "I committed adultery twice."

The Rabbi Said, "Well ya gotta go do it again, they're 3 for 5 this week."

There was this old Italian woman who went to the Cathedral every day, not for mass, but just for her little visit with the Lord.

And she walked up to the altar with her rosary beads, and kneeled down and started praying.

Now there were two guys up on scaffolding, waaaay up high, making repairs to the walls. The one guy wiped his brow, and noticed the little old lady kneeling at the alter. He elbowed his buddy and said, "Look at that little old lady. Lets have some fun with her."

So he called down, "THIS IS THE LORD."

The other guy said, "well, maybe she didn't hear you."

So he called down again, louder, "THIS IS THE LORD!"

The other guy said, "I'll shake her up,"

"THIS IS THE ..."

She shouted, "YOU SHUTTA YOU FACE! IMA TALKA WITCHU MAMMA!"

What does the dyslektic agnostic insomniac do?








...sit up all night wondering if there is a dog...

What's the best part of pudding?



Pudding it in your mouth!!!

here's a visual one:

Abbott: Do me a favor. Loan me $50.Costello: I can't lend you $50. All I've got is $40.Abbott: That's okay. Give me the $40, and you'll owe me $10.Costello: How come I owe you $10?Abbott: What did I ask you for?Costello: $50.Abbott: What did you give me?Costello; $40.Abbott: So you owe me $10.Costello: That's right. But you owe me $40. Give me my $40 back.Abbott: There's your $40. Now give me the $10 you owe me.         That's the last time I'll ever ask you for the loan of $50.Costello: How can I loan you $50 now? All I have is $30.Abbott: Give me the $30, and you’ll owe me $20.Costello: This is getting worse all the time.           First I owe you $10, and now I owe you $20!Abbott: So you owe me $20. Twenty and 30 is 50.Costello; Nope! Twenty-five and 25 is 50.Abbott: Here's your $30. Give me back my $20.Costello: All I've got now is $10!

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician (it is said) were holidaying in Scotland. Glancing from a train window, they observed a black sheep in the middle of a field.

"How interesting," observed the astronomer, "all scottish sheep are black!"

To which the physicist responded, "No, no! Some Scottish sheep are black!"

The mathematician gazed heavenward in supplication, and then intoned, "In Scotland there exists at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which is black."

Quote: Original post by ukdeveloper
This thread should have retired months ago? Last reply before mine was on 1st July?

What do you call an old non-retired thread on gamedev?
Petrified Cheese!