An ion walks into a bar: "Bartender - I've lost an electron here last night!"
Bartender: "Are you sure?"
the ion: "I'm positive!"

(sorry.. NiceCoder started it)


One more in line with the topic:

Q: Why can't you starve in the desert?
A: Because of all the sand which is there.

Quote:

Original post by Boris Karloff Quote: Original post by Avatar God Quote: Original post by benryves Quote: Original post by skittleo How do you fit an elephant onto a subway....? ... You take the 's' out of sub and the 'f' out of way. I don't get it. [embarrass] Me neither... I've heard jokes like this... but... Thirding that. I thought it'd be a phonetic thing, but it isn't, as far as I can tell. Explain.

Not sure, but I think I got the "f... out of way" part ("..." included for clarity)

I was thinking something along those lines, too, but it still doesn't make any sense. And if that's indead what the F means, then it should be worded better, perhaps like this:

Quote:

How do you fit an elephant onto a subway....? ... You take the 's' out of the sub and get the 'f' out of the way.

The use of the words "the" and "get" are very important for it to make sense.

However, then I still don't get it. Why should you get out of the way when you take the 's' out of sub? Ubway. Not something I'd run away from.

(Translation)

You take the shit out of the sub and get the fuck out of the way.

Now let's hope I don't get suspended for that.

RE: the elephant joke
The key to the joke is the "take the 'f' out of way" part because you then should get a thought which is the punch-line: "There is no 'f' in way" which when said sounds like "There is no f-in way". At least that's the way I've always interpreted the joke.

I hope someone can understand this but it is one of the worst jokes I know (apologies for spelling mistakes, not that most will notice):

Tá beirt dunie Provo ag suil ar an bothar i bealfeiste,
duirt amhain "Ceapainn tú an fir sin ar an UVF",
Duirt an Provo eile "Ní ceapaim".

Free pint to first person who get its. Get it! hahahhaha.

[Edited by - pkelly83 on May 4, 2005 1:24:32 PM]

new programmer: how is the authritus in your hands doing? typing easy?
old programmer: can you count binary with your fingers?
new programmer: yes
old programmer: I give you 4


operator: welcome to burger king, how may I help you

customer: I would like a large order of fries

operator: we dont have any at the moment

customer: ok, I will have a medium fry

operator: we dont have any

customer: ok, I will have a small order of french fries

operator: ok, who put the straw in straw berry?

customer: nature

operator: who put the ape in aperocot

customer: nature

operator: who put the freak in french fries

customer: there is no freak in french fries

operator: that what I am trying to tell you, there are no freakin french fries,
now get lost or I will punch you so hard you will have to sit on your burger to
eat it. and have a nice day.

Two guys walk into a bar the third one missed.

Quote:

Original post by Nice Coder two strings walk into a bar One says to the bartender "Hi, i want some beerseawotwnaetlkn%#@$^@(#*!*(%^!#(*$^!(#*&%@(#YNASDKLVFNawlfhtwenawjkhtjwnefahweifnawelnfaklwnfklawhyrlawnrf&*^#*(@% %)U&Q@#%JR{E#RWNME$ITHW$TW$N@ 2352q 52abskjbfwe490r5u7wejafawerawefwe" The other says "Sorry, my freinds not null terminated" From, Nice coder

lol good one nice coder!

A friend and I made these up:

(Newspaper headline) Man dies of seizure- "Fitting End", says family

What do you call a Korean Goth? Tortured Soeul

Apologies for any bad taste / general crapness [grin]