Facing failure, the inability to circumvent certain obstacles, is never easy. Time does not ease the process, and certainly does not mitigate the aftermath.

Finally, it has come full circle! There's this one line in the game, which was also –coincidentally–used for auditioning voice actors, states: "This be the end of a cycle . . . And be the end of us," An almost fitting remark, as it is yet to be determined what the outcome might be . . .

Race to the bottom

Hope was not yet given up–fully–back a few months ago, and everything was done (that was humanly possible) for a now increasingly broken "developer", in order to keep the boat afloat: The game was mostly complete, and apart from rendering some visuals, and hiring some VAs, all seemed possible; despite the mounting problems. Just a little-bit-of-an-extra, more like microscopic loan (in terms of general business investments) would have been needed in order to stop the project from crashing into the ground. So much has been sacrificed that simply giving up on it would've smeared all previous accomplishments. And that kept this project going, long after it was declared dead. Even knowing that as a solo developer there was absolutely no chance of getting "recognition" by business affiliates. Efforts were still made in this regard, by contacting numerous publishers and investors; in hopes that someone out there would fill in the gaps.

However, having a skewed idea of what makes business worthy, it was thought that having a clear vision (for the game, design and aesthetics), gameplay videos, game build, website, and so forth, would be enough to persuade someone in the industry, to at least get in contact with. The reality was that A) If you are a solo developer asking for money, you'd better have a strong argument besides you (e.g. previous successful Kickstarter), which wasn't the case, B) The build was broken as it was later found out (that it didn't work on multiple mobile devices) and C) The visuals (and probably the gameplay) was lackluster(?) and seemed more like a hobbyist's project (due to hardware limitations) than anything else–only a few hard-core fans of the era saw potential in it (as in reminding them of their childhood, when graphics weren't a thing). And as well all know it, visuals are king. And as days turned weeks, and the replies that were supposed to save the project did not arrive, desperation kicked in. And without those, there was no way to fix any of the issues.

The rippling effects

[NOTE: Sharing the following, solely for the reason that there are others out there, who are or were in similar situations and are hanging by a thread; literally. Have seen people sharing their life experiences (even current ones) in dev communities, how they've lost control over all of their humanity, and how they're in this bottomless pit of working for nothing, in an endless grind, in hopes for a better future. While they themselves deteriorate into nothingness, as everyone around them turns away. Knowing that most of this, well most of my past rants and insights into these kinds of personal matters, didn't concern the overall majority (which is understandable, as negativity is tough to digest, especially knowing how everyone else have issues on their own, and nobody is entitled to bear other's), am still sharing this, in hopes to help out that one or two person, who really needs it. You are not alone, and gosh . . . if only there was a way to help you all!]

This failure had profound implications on my personal life, as already the weight of being unemployed was a constant sharp pain in the head, and it further decayed my health and relationships, on top of everything else. It was hoped that this project (for the amplest of times) would finally lift me out of the gutters (or at least provide a path to redemption). And in addition, this was also "the" last chance (given by the family) to prove one's self; as many have already turned away from me (even the closest ones). Obviously, that did-not-happen (nor it is looking to be), and the already salty situation got even worse, much-much worse. It's difficult the explain the situation, to an outsider, but when you live under this constant aggression, normal and everyday situations can heat up fast. Real-fast. As the ones that you're straining are just looking to burst. And that is what exactly happened shortly after the decision of not wanting to continue this project (along trying to describe the situation to non-tech-savvy folk). Was labeled a liar, a fraud and an obstacle that plagued their existence for years and years. Truth be told that when this happened, was absolutely horrified. And this feeling still continues to linger, as everything has changed; even the way we communicate.

This begged the question that, Was everything done the best way possible? Probably not. No. Was everything done the best way possible, considering the situation? Maybe, difficult to say. Depending on what angle you are approaching from, there were things that could've been done differently (say not choosing to make a game for mobile, focusing on trying to deliver a new experience with touch controls, innovation, etc.), but others (like the lack of visuals) would've still presented an issue. Excluding the fact that a lot of problems with the production came up during said production (both technical, such as issues with the touch interface, and financial, when the war broke out and devalued and trashed everything); as it wasn't in the "fine print" when embarked on this journey. At this point, am nothing but a "dude on the internet", as a Redditor eloquently has put, trying to compete with sticks and stone in a race to the Moon.

Perhaps, with more experience, or with a better foresight, this situation could've been avoided. Perhaps, now we'd be celebrating our mediocre income, from all the sales *laughs*. Perhaps with better planning and more technical know-hows , would've been able to produce better art on a budget, or be more efficient with those 12-14 months. Perhaps, with a better reach, it would've been possible to seek out patrons to support this venture, and give it a proper footing. But none of this have happened, nor will. For many reasons, outside of one's influence. For now, all will remain as a fantasy.

When the ship has already sunken

Knew the very beginning that there was little to be able to make competitive graphics with what tools were available. [NOTE: Technically, in hindsight, there's a way, but that requires a stylized approach, which would've meant that the production would've not been ready within 2-3 years, at least. Not around 12 months. And, originally was only given 3-6 to begin with.] Yet, to prove that it can be done, have embarked on the mission of "what ifs" and spent a whole month researching and squeezing every inch of performance (whilst trying to hunt down investors), in order to re-create all the celestial objects (the inner solar system as seen in the game), in hopes to gain attraction. In the end, only one was re-made (The Moon that is), as it took that long to figure out a way to do it all; and to lay down the production pipelines for future assets. Suffice to say that this was the closest attempt in making realistic models in my entire career (with these tools at hand). It still has that somewhat off-putting, uncanny valley look to it, as it wasn't possible to fine tune the renders (and knowing how increasingly difficult it is to make something look realistic). It may not look much, but this re-creation of the Moon, was made from scratch, and not sourced from NASA or any other resources. Took the time to make it, rather than download a bunch of texture and calling it a day. Suffice to say that when in Engine, even looking at the object tanks the system, if the screen size goes above 50% of the current viewport's resolution; just imagine what would it be like with game logic behind. Which means that after viewing one object in the game, the whole game becomes almost unplayable. The maxed out graphic settings, combined with ultra-high details and volumetric fog, which would be fine on a current system, is just too much to handle. Sure, the game could've been still made, by turning off these settings, but not making videos, to showcase the game in its full glory, would've defeated its purpose. What the point if you cannot showcase something that you made? And also, it would've made no sense when marketing. Sooner or later, there would've been a bottleneck in the system anyway. Perhaps. We'll never find out.

It was though that the best way was to target lower end mobile devices, in hopes to be able to compete, rather than trying to make a AAA game for PC. It might just sound an excuse, but not being able to use modern tools and software, say proper ray tracing for rendering, creates those familiar off-putting results that were so common back in the days; and also this was the biggest, most complex and difficult game in my entire career. Even with all the wizardry, the textures (for the Moon, shown below) still look odd, and lack the final polish that they were supposed to have (apart from having player aware tessellation in game): Simply because rendering them in real time caused a system freeze in Blender, and thus could not be modified (the details) or added on top. As these textures, the "simulation" of craters, valleys, etc. were of additive origin. A nightmare to calculate, even without using Cycles as the render engine. You can clearly see that using 4k textures (that's 4096x4096) aren't enough to give this much detail to an entire planet, excuse me, satellite, when seen up-close. There's just no way to simulate such tiny details on the surface, as craters do get washed out by the mountain ranges, or produce w-a-a-y-too much noise. Which become apparent when the tessellation kicked in on certain parts of the Moon (it's clearly visible some of the close-ups). Could've done it with fine adjustments, perhaps. But, it was a challenge to seamlessly wrap and pack a sphere in the first place, along with others (which reduces the UV space by almost half) without distortions (it's still a mathematical nightmare, hence there are so many types of sphere projections). Nevertheless, an attempt with a level of technical know-how was made. You decide if it was for the better or the worst!

These images were made by a combination of PBR textures, post-processing and tessellation used in Unreal Engine 4. All images are direct screenshots.

The nothingness

After the completion of said asset, nothing has happened. Not entirely know why: Did people not like it, or because people thought that it was just a skin, downloaded from the web? Or didn't like the fact that there was a massive QR code stamped on top of every picture, to find support for the project. Who knows. As nobody took the slightest liking in these images, it was time to look elsewhere; a painful decision, as much as you could imagine. Began looking into the type of "artsy" projects that were deliberately pushed away before: using stylized art. For good reason: It takes a lot of time and effort to make those, a lot of skill and experience. There's a reason why artists learn for years in order to create those gorgeous art. Obviously, had nothing like that. The closest thing was many-many years ago, when a small 2D plane was textured with some turf. And that's it. Which means nothing, when it comes to experience.

That being said, decided to give it a go, and dive deep into it, with whatever there's left. It'll discussed in another blog post, released soon after this one, where an attempt is being made to create something new. In a setting that is gargantuan, compared to that tiny texture. Once again, pushing the limits of sanity and what's possible.