This one was heavily inspired by my own feelings, not just goofing around in DAW as I usually do... Basically I would like to hear your feedback on this, cheers

I feel like this is a great foundation or start to a song. But as it is, the song doesn't feel completed yet. It could work as an underscore for something but without more of an arrangement and melody driving the piece forward, you've basically heard everything the song has to offer in less than a minute. Which makes the rest of the song kinda feel like it's wandering around. 

Perhaps you're hearing more of the song inside your head while you listen? And to be clear, I don't mean you have to go wild with the arrangement or the melody. It could be something quite simple but something to help the song have a bit more life and impact. 

Also what's up with the random VO in the track? At 2:00? That sounds super odd. It feels so out of place and ill-prepared that it's coming off like a mistake so if that was intentional, I'll really revamp that or just take it out. 

Having listen to the whole song through, it's not clear to me what the song's intention is. What its message is. It does create a vibe and I like that vibe but after about 45 seconds, my ears and mind begin to wander and, sadly, the song doesn't do very much to keep me engage after that point. 

I say all of this only to help point out some weak spots and encourage you to keep working on it! Because, as I already said, you have a good foundation here. A really good start. It just needs more development. I hope that helps!

23 minutes ago, nsmadsen said:

I feel like this is a great foundation or start to a song. But as it is, the song doesn't feel completed yet. It could work as an underscore for something but without more of an arrangement and melody driving the piece forward, you've basically heard everything the song has to offer in less than a minute. Which makes the rest of the song kinda feel like it's wandering around. 

Perhaps you're hearing more of the song inside your head while you listen? And to be clear, I don't mean you have to go wild with the arrangement or the melody. It could be something quite simple but something to help the song have a bit more life and impact. 

Also what's up with the random VO in the track? At 2:00? That sounds super odd. It feels so out of place and ill-prepared that it's coming off like a mistake so if that was intentional, I'll really revamp that or just take it out. 

Having listen to the whole song through, it's not clear to me what the song's intention is. What its message is. It does create a vibe and I like that vibe but after about 45 seconds, my ears and mind begin to wander and, sadly, the song doesn't do very much to keep me engage after that point. 

I say all of this only to help point out some weak spots and encourage you to keep working on it! Because, as I already said, you have a good foundation here. A really good start. It just needs more development. I hope that helps!

Thank you for your opinion, I appreciate that. I get your point and gonna try to make this more interesting to listen to. And gonna get rid of the adlibs too, lol. Thanks!

Cool! Glad to have helped. And please keep in mind - it's just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt.