• Begin with double underscore
• Contain "call"
• Describe a behavior of yourself or another member of the forum (past or present)
• Not aim to offend

// Author: L. Spiro
// Performs most fastest call ever, forcibly implementing perfectly optimized 
// quantum computing even on machines incapable of such a thing.
__lspirocall


// Author: L. Spiro
// Usually effective, sometimes tentacle-rapes young girls.
__washucall


// Author: yoshi_lol
// Supports 22 registers
__fastcall22


// Author: fastcall22
// Disables any attached debugger and trashes the stack with propaganda about
// optymizations and debuggers, if a debugger was detected
__fircall


// Author: fastcall22
// Poisons every function with __fastcall, because it has the word
// 'fast' in it, so that must make the program run EVEN faster-er
__wiredcatcall


// Author: L. Spiro
// Asks for advice before every call, ignores advice and calls the wrong function.
__phil67rpgcall 

// Optimizes calls for maintainability rather than performance.
__nypyrencall

//Will troll your bytes.  Might cause antivirus warnings.
__bytetroll

// Invocations to functions declared with this calling convention must have their
// parameters arranged in the shape of a rocketship. Causes undefined behaviour otherwise.
// Undefined behaviour may include launching your local PC on a Mars-bound, Earth-escape trajectory.
__oberoncall

// Passes as many arguments as possible through registers and assigns them in
// the reverse order than the official ABI does. Last three registers of each
// type get trashed.
__sikcall

If you wonder, this is exactly how I program in 68000 assembly (pass as many arguments as possible through registers, start from d7/a6 instead of d0/a0, the registers d5-d7 and a4-a6 can safely be trashed).

// Invocations to functions declared with this calling convention must have their
// parameters arranged in the shape of a rocketship. Causes undefined behaviour otherwise.
// Undefined behaviour may include launching your local PC on a Mars-bound, Earth-escape trajectory.
__oberoncall

// slicer4ever: Doesn't respond when you ask him if his name has something to do with the game Bioshock.

// slicer4ever: Doesn't respond when you ask him if his name has something to do with the game Bioshock.

I call foul on that one, it doesn't finish in call

// Doesn't really do anything
// but it looks fancy
__migicall