I am sorry. I am paranoid when it comes to legal issues and what I am allowed to do. I don't want to do anything illegal.

Then talk to a lawyer, that's pretty much the only way to be 100% sure there isn't any catch (sometimes even when you think it's illegal there may be a requirement you're bound to skip and make it illegal sudden of all, even permissive licenses tend to suffer from this).

Nope it is not legal:

And you can use them in every way you want, privately or commercially — in print, on your computer, or in your websites.

It doesn't say video games. So I am going with NOT LEGAL.

Why is it so damn hard to find fonts for making games? Just one damn font and I have searched for years.

The XNA Font Redistribute Package is not legal too, as it specifically states "for use in your XNA Game Studio game".

Doing this in Times New Roman or Arial is not legal either, since making glyph sheets is classified as derivative work. I contacted all the major font services, and they have NO fonts that fit this without spending thousands of dollars for thousands of game downloads.

How the hell are indie developers using fonts?!

Really. I want to learn how to program Direct X, but if I cannot legally put text on the screen, what is the point?

They just worded it in an informal way. It is you who are having difficulty interpreting it.

And you can use them in every way you want, privately or commercially — in print, on your computer, or in your websites.

Use them in every way you want, privately or commercially. That's a public domain statement and it's all you need to know. Using them in a game is the way you want.
Then the sentence that follows is just to clarify some possible uses. "On your computer" means that you will make use of the font software (the technical name for the vectorial data that defines the characters) on your computer in some way, like in your game etc.
That second sentence is not necessary.

It didn't say "some examples are". It just stated those uses as a fact. It didn't say "and more". It just ended.

I agree that that second sentence is misleading, but its intention is to exemplify rather than limit the possible uses. It doesn't make sense to say "You can use this on any way you want - but only on ways A, B or C."

If you're looking for more formal licences, go to that Font Squirrel website that I posted before. I did post it for a reason.
Here's an example of "Lato," an OFL-licenced font:
http://www.fontsquirrel.com/license/lato

Nope it is not legal:

And you can use them in every way you want, privately or commercially — in print, on your computer, or in your websites.

That text is not the license, it's a human readable explanation, describing the license.

When you review one of the fonts on the google fonts page, at the bottom you'll see something like:
3 Styles by Vernon Adams
SIL Open Font License, 1.1

Clicking on the link will show you the actual license. If the font you want to use is under the OFL linked above, then you should be fine.

If you view your bitmap font as a piece of artwork, then there's no restrictions on you at all.

If you view your bitmap font as a derivative, then it itself becomes licensed under the OFL. You can still package/embed it into your game, but you must include the OFL text somewhere alongside it (in your readme or a link to it in your about screen). You can sell your game, encrypt your files, use DRM, etc... however, if someone manages to extract your bitmap font, they're free to reuse it themselves according to the OFL license.

So basically:

• Stick to OFL licensed fonts (or other nice open-source licenses).
• Include the OFL text (or a link to it) along with your games files, mentioning which fonts are covered by it.
• If someone 'steals' the font out of your game, they're free to use it too.
• If you make modifications to the font, it is still OFL-licensed.
• Don't plagiarize and pretend you're the original author.

What about fonts like Open Sans?

https://www.google.com/fonts/specimen/Open+Sans

Or should I just stick to OFL like the Lato font?

https://www.google.com/fonts/specimen/Lato

What about fonts like Open Sans?

https://www.google.com/fonts/specimen/Open+Sans

That pages says it's under the Apache License, which is pretty much the same deal.

How the hell are indie developers using fonts?!

They get advice from their lawyers... as you should.

Well I also want to release free tutorials for Direct X. I was asking since other game developers are here and if they knew of a site that lists fonts for game developers.

So I should spend several hundred dollars to ask a lawyer that I can use a font for free samples and an open source video game? What is wrong asking other game developers?

There could have been a fontsforgamedevelopers site or something that I didn't know about. I did not know about the Google fonts page having OFL fonts, so that means I am fine to use those.