So honestly, it was pretty dry. It didn't really stand out to me anyway. I don't know if you were nervous, but it seemed like you were just a bit. The pauses didn't help. Don't take this the wrong way, but you seemed like the typical nerd. Your accomplishments are impressive but your delivery needs some work. IMO, anyway.

Damn money always getting in the way of things.

Maybe what you're looking for is to sound more "conversational". I don't really know how to explain it other than I've found that job interviews go better for me when I'm not trying to talk to someone who holds my destiny in the balance but instead talking to a peer about a project they think they might want me for and it would be a conversation over a couple beers if it weren't for that they have to have their supervisor present.

I wrote a long reply, then some fucking stupid-ass key combo caused my browser to go back a page. I'll type it again when I am not so fucking pissed off.

L. Spiro

I assume the purpose of requiring a video is basically a first-pass personality test, since they can gauge your intellectual potential and real enthusiasm through the rest of the application. You don't have to be hilarious but you have to likable.

First impression: Awkward city. You look like a fidgeting Austism-spectrum person [PC way to say that?] that would have a hard time dealing with being in close proximity to other people for long periods of time.

Random eye contact and blinking make you look bad, and jump cuts make it look even worse (like you're hiding even more terrible awkwardness). Answers do not flow well even without the cutting. You don't actually seem to have a sense of humor given your response, either. "I have a large amount of passion." Really? I think they're expecting some production, so you might as well go all out and look very well produced and have a highly articulate prepared statement (but with some genuine-ness for the humor question). You're an artist and an actor- leverage that to your advantage in your presentation. You'll stand out from the laptop webcam crowd and show you went to the trouble and therefore care. The apparent lack of rehearsal and production doesn't make you seem genuine as much as it makes you seem unprepared. Also smile.

Random: Throw in something relating your international-ness to having a strong sense of adventure. Game programming = understanding complicated problems, man-machine interaction, and basic human behavior at a very high level.

In my opinion, anyway.

I'm not an expert this as well, but you said 'and' as a connection of two sentences like 4 times near the end of video, based upon that and your blinking/watching away, you seemed in my opinion a bit nervous.

Anyways the scene composition is in my opinion really bad, I got distracted the door in the background all the time. In my case I'd probably choose either boring background (wall, preferably some light color), or I'd sit on the couch. It in my humble opinion a bit implies that video was put together very fast, which is definitely not a good first thought.

I'd also second smile, but not too much - you should seem that you're serious about that.

Ad your avatar, I knew that you're not that woman for quite a while (randomly hit your deviantart before) ... although my girlfriend saw that video and did an ugly commentary on us - the occupants of gamedev - that even the users with girl avatars on gamedev are actually guys.

Ad little off topic: As for one way ticket to Mars, I'm pretty sure that it is possible to create a ship able to travel to Mars and back ... it's only a matter of money (since we already know all we need for that, a bunch of math), of course the project would need to carry all build materials there along with the ship (and not disassembling the ship to construct the housing). Although this would need an epicly large topic in lounge, and there already was similar conversation on Orbiter forums I think.

As for the cuts, they were necessary in order to reduce the video to below 70 seconds. That was the limit.
I chose the location for the lighting. That made the original video have a clearer picture quality, but when I finally saw the thing on MARS-ONE that didn’t really matter since they reduced the image quality to shit.

So yeah if I had expected that I would have chosen the wall to the left which is totally white.

I thought I was coming off as natural—my eye movements and pauses were supposed to give the impression that I was thinking about what I was about to say.
Maybe it makes me look nervous though.


Basically I am taking in the advice here but I am not seeing a better way (except to film against the white wall instead). I can say the same things with more passion, but I am getting the feeling that it needs more than that.
Firstly I have only 70 seconds to get everything in and I have to address all 3 of their questions. I am advised to capitalize on my sense of humor and when to turn that shit off, but also to capitalize on my problem-solving and technical skills etc. I can’t fit it all in.

And in my personal feeling I wanted to steer away from the comedy side because of what I said before. I’m comedy gold in real life but they need to know I am serious about the mission.


But also remember the video is not the only thing there is. There is also a public text area and a bunch of questions you have to answer in the private area (that only they can see). I think I nailed the private area and again my goal is to appeal to the actual MARS-ONE staff.


My profile was approved a short while ago so here it is:
http://applicants.mars-one.com/profile/a1b986f4-1d07-4aae-b489-5644cd1d6620

First-off, please vote for me anyway, whether the video is good or not.
Second-off, I might be able to upload a different video, but consider the contents of the video and the text there together and see if it looks better.

Personally, I believe questions 2 & 3 have an additional element to them that's also asking, "Can you indicate to us that you will be able to tolerate the idiocy of others sufficiently that you won't be compelled to kill them? Further, what might you be able to offer that will keep others from the same?"

There was a private question about this. I think I answered correctly so I didn’t put it in the video.
I think I got all the private parts down.


…that did not come out correctly…


L. Spiro


[EDIT]
I don’t feel so bad about my video after seeing the most popular guy’s video: http://applicants.mars-one.com/profile/3722f1ca-af00-44a9-af0d-39d4e9a5d876
Talk about no passion and poor production quality…
[/EDIT]

[EDIT]
But he did say the right things…
Hmm…
[/EDIT]

This might come off as needlessly harsh, so the best I can do is promise you that I'm really trying to inspire you to make a video and that I hope I'm not steering you in the wrong direction. That said:

I thought I was coming off as natural—my eye movements and pauses were supposed to give the impression that I was thinking about what I was about to say.
Maybe it makes me look nervous though.

I’m comedy gold in real life but they need to know I am serious about the mission.

But also remember the video is not the only thing there is.

I want do address these particular points (and I do know that I'm taking them out of context): why not make the video a showcase of who you really are? Why would you want to make them think you didn't prepare your video in advance and that you don't know what to say next? They know how much time you've had to work on the video. They'll know that everyone else prepared. You might succeed in convincing the judges that you didn't prepare at all, but what does that gain for you other than to convince them that you don't care as much as someone who put the time and effort in to make a really polished video?

The second thing I think is worth thinking about is that, even though there are other aspects to the application than the video, that doesn't mean the video doesn't exist. After all, you must think it's important if it's the first thing you asked about. Furthermore, even if there are other aspects to the application, what won't be there is you. You won't be there to let them know that you're actually funny. Hell, you won't be there to let them know that you're actually likable. The closest thing to you that the judges will likely get to see is the video, so you're squandering an opportunity if you don't use it as a chance to showcase yourself in a) the best ways possible and b) ways that you might not have gotten to address on other parts of the application.

The simple fact is, right now almost everyone who watched the video picked up on certain aspects of the video that they didn't like, and I think that when it comes down to it these things could potentially ruin your chances.

I am advised to capitalize on my sense of humor and when to turn that shit off, but also to capitalize on my problem-solving and technical skills etc. I can’t fit it all in.

Remember that at first I didn't know there was a time limit at all. Still, I think there are ways you can address all of these things. Right now, you are addressing the humor question, but I think you're squandering it all together: from the words you do say, I'd think you probably weren't funny at all and just making up stuff about "tailoring your sense of humor to the individual" to make an excuse for the fact that you can't be funny at all. So I'm not saying that you should waste any additional time on the question; I'm saying that you should use the time you are spending more effectively.

You can also fit more content in if you cut down on the awkward ("natural") pauses. People won't see it as unnatural, they'll see it as efficient and a sign of preparation and commitment. The only people who won't see it that way are the people who also think pretty much every well-respected speech or monologue from both fiction and nonfiction are terrible because they're "unnatural." Like I said, it's not about being someone you're not (particularly since, as you keep saying, you are funny and entertaining in real life), it's about putting your best self front and center.

If I were you, I'd assume that the video is the first thing that the judges will look at and that they might not even look at the rest of your application if they don't think you meet minimum standards of commitment and likability. I'd also assume that about every other part of the application, which is to say that I'm not claiming that the video is, in actual fact, the most important thing. I'm simply saying why take the risk of assuming that they'll even look at anything else?

I think what almost everyone in the thread so far is that the video you have now just doesn't make you seem as outstanding as you presumably want to appear. You'll get differing and contradictory advice on how to fix that, certainly, but I hope that only inspires you to try new and interesting approaches that none of us have even thought of rather than using that as an excuse for convincing yourself that what you've already got is "probably fine," because it just might not be.

I think the biggest mistake one can make is simply stating that you care a lot about Mars exploration. It should come across indirectly.

Simply stating is kinda what the finish is ... and I don't buy it. What exactly / why exactly do you care? I think it is a really weak finish.

Judging from the topics covered I get the impression that this is a guy who doesn't know what awaits him. Might be completely wrong, but my focus would be on resilience (mental, physical, emotional and social ... think Jane McGonigal) stressing that I know how tough it will be. Doing that in an upbeat way should be enough for the comedy part. I agree that telling jokes is not the way to go.

I'd try to get across that I know what I'm giving up, what the risks are and why it isn't a big deal for me.

I'd also show more of the body. There was a great course at coursera. https://www.coursera.org/course/publicspeak ... guess it is too late to check those resources out now, but I'd look for inspiration on youtube.

My rating is floundering and something needs to be done. So I am seriously looking at all the advice I can get (except the advice from my mother which stated, “I don’t want you to go”). And some nonsense about each mile I take towards Mars is another centimeter a bullet goes into her head.

I mean, who mixes miles and centimeters? Seriously? You have miles and inches or you have kilometers and centimeters. Seriously mother.

Many of the points that have been mentioned are in the private questions. For example, one of the private questions was how i would handle never meeting my family again.

I have no intention of going back to America and I said so. I never plan to meet my family again anyway. They mix miles and centimeters.

Another question was about the most stressful event of my life and how I handled it. (A CNN guy standing over my shoulder with a camera in the winning round of a national chess tournament basically takes the cake).

Another was about when I was scared and how I reacted to that situation.

I tried not to cover things in my video that were in the private parts because the video has a very limited time.

But still I think it needs a change. I am not getting the ratings I need.

So keep the suggestions coming.

L. Spiro

I mean, who mixes miles and centimeters? Seriously? You have miles and inches or you have kilometers and centimeters. Seriously mother.

Ironically, the NASA did, on the 1999 Mars Climate Orbiter mission. Shame they didn't do the mission 21 days later, they could have blamed the year-2000 bug, which would not have been nearly as embarrassing.