I’ve taken quite a lot of time to prepare this and I am very serious about my desire to go.

I’ve already spent the last 10 years of my life overseas and away from my family and friends, and I have no intentions of ever going back to America again to meet any of them. So going to Mars one-way is of no consequence to me on those terms. I am well accustomed to never seeing my friends and family again.

Applications for MARS-ONE began long ago and I have spent that whole time planning my video.

I’ve made one, but now I want to know what the public thinks.

If you like me, tell me what could be better in my video to increase my chances.

If you hate me, tell me what could be better in my video to increase my chances so that you don’t have to share the planet with me anymore.

It can be found here:

All feedback is welcome. I seriously want to go to Mars, so please help me make the perfect application video.

Also I’ve found that some people think I am female because of my avatar.

That’s just a pencil drawing that I did long ago. http://l-spiro.deviantart.com/gallery/4844241

Sorry for any confusion. I used an avatar that is personal to me and my drawings are personal to me, especially my drawing of her, because I would marry her (one of my friends from Thailand) in an instant if possible.

L. Spiro

I don't really know a great deal about either you or MARS-ONE, but I'll offer my immediate impressions nonetheless in the hope that it may be of some help.

My very first impression is that it seems unrehearsed. In particular, there are jump cuts, slightly awkward pauses, and what strikes me as somewhat abrupt changes in topic. Altogether, this would give me the impression (if I hadn't been told that you'd spent a long time planning) that you don't really know what to say.

I could be confusing you with someone else, but I seem to remember you talking about having acting experience. If so, this might be a good place to put those skills to use, not to pretend to be someone you're not, but to signal to the judges (or whoever?) that you've actually put the effort in to make a polished presentation.

Assuming there aren't requirements I don't know about, you could probably do a couple of other things differently to improve the overall presentation. Different framing, different background, and better lighting would all probably help showcase how serious you are. Right now my eye is distracted by the door and switch board behind you (and the fact that the lines are not parallel in the frame doesn't help), as well as the fact that we see more of your chest than your face.

I don't have anything useful to say about the content as I have absolutely no idea what will be looked for or what exactly you need to convey. Is there a limit to how long the video can be?

Yes I am the actor, however I was specifically trying to stray away from that aspect for authenticity. Actually everything was rehearsed but I always try to make my lines sound natural.

I guess I should explain because it sounded strange to me also before I knew.

Your video is supposed to answer 3 questions:

#1: Why do you want to go to Mars?

#2: What is your sense of humor?

#3: What makes you the perfect candidate?

You have at most 70 seconds to answer all 3 so you really have to just hit on the main points of each quickly.

There is a private section of each person’s profile where a lot of questions are asked.

Basically in the video we have 70 seconds to address the real issues and I didn’t feel that acting on Japanese TV and movies was one of them. I left that for the private profile. It was worth mentioning there because they are presenting it as a reality TV show.

But the abrupt changes in topic were because they asked that the video answer those 3 questions.

As far as putting my acting to use, I hate to admit it but I am glad it seemed unrehearsed. I had spent about 5 hours doing it over and over. Everything had been written and planned. I typed it out in Notepad, but my PC makes noise so I wrote it all out on paper by hand and recorded with my PC off. Hand aches you would not believe.

I’m glad everything seemed unrehearsed, but just because it was rehearsed I seriously want you to consider something.

I went through many hours to get the video how I thought it would be nice. I am dedicated to the mission to Mars and there is no question about that. Again the limit is 70 seconds and I will redo it 1,000,000 times if necessary to get the video that will get me onto the MARS-ONE team.

With the above limitations in mind, please be very critical about my video. As long as your goal is to get me on Mars I will listen and take it into consideration and redo the video.

L. Spiro

Also I’ve found that some people think I am female because of my avatar.
That’s just a pencil drawing that I did long ago. http://l-spiro.deviantart.com/gallery/4844241
Sorry for any confusion. I used an avatar that is personal to me and my drawings are personal to me, especially my drawing of her, because I would marry her (one of my friends from Thailand) in an instant if possible.

You just dissapointed a lot of geeks here, my friend. Very nice drawing indeed, though.

I err the um what I meant was er I the um-

Are you saying you respected me only because you thought I was female?

I have a few temperamental things to say in reply to that but this topic is not the place. I am not joking when it comes to my applications to MARS-ONE. I want to go and this topic will NOT stray from its purpose. Again this topic has the only purpose of providing me with feedback on my application video and any ways in which it can be fully effective.

L. Spiro

Yes I am the actor, however I was specifically trying to stray away from that aspect for authenticity. Actually everything was rehearsed but I always try to make my lines sound natural.

I guess I should explain because it sounded strange to me also before I knew.

Your video is supposed to answer 3 questions:

#1: Why do you want to go to Mars?

#2: What is your sense of humor?

#3: What makes you the perfect candidate?

You have at most 70 seconds to answer all 3 so you really have to just hit on the main points of each quickly.

There is a private section of each person’s profile where a lot of questions are asked.

Basically in the video we have 70 seconds to address the real issues and I didn’t feel that acting on Japanese TV and movies was one of them. I left that for the private profile. It was worth mentioning there because they are presenting it as a reality TV show.

But the abrupt changes in topic were because they asked that the video answer those 3 questions.

As far as putting my acting to use, I hate to admit it but I am glad it seemed unrehearsed. I had spent about 5 hours doing it over and over. Everything had been written and planned. I typed it out in Notepad, but my PC makes noise so I wrote it all out on paper by hand and recorded with my PC off. Hand aches you would not believe.

I’m glad everything seemed unrehearsed, but just because it was rehearsed I seriously want you to consider something.

I went through many hours to get the video how I thought it would be nice. I am dedicated to the mission to Mars and there is no question about that. Again the limit is 70 seconds and I will redo it 1,000,000 times if necessary to get the video that will get me onto the MARS-ONE team.

With the above limitations in mind, please be very critical about my video. As long as your goal is to get me on Mars I will listen and take it into consideration and redo the video.

L. Spiro

This is reasonable, but I still think it's potentially worth playing a bit more with the delivery.

Like I said, I'm not suggesting that you pretend to be someone you're not, but instead simply that this video is a chance to demonstrate how committed you are. In that case, letting people see clearly that you've rehearsed might actually be to your advantage. People who don't have a high degree of dedication will be able to make videos that seem unrehearsed and improvised (because they will be), so why not take the opportunity to separate yourself from this group?

My instinct is that if you put together something a bit more polished and charismatic you'll probably have a better shot by appealing to the judges' first instincts. I think a lot of great speeches are sincere in spite of the fact that they're not "natural", and in this particular case why not make it clear to the judges that you're trying to put on your best face simply because you care about going to mars?

Changing the subject slightly, if they value humor enough to make it one of the three things they look for in the video, it might be worthwhile to try some alternative approaches to answering that one. While I don't doubt that your answer is honest, it's worth considering that someone with an annoying, offensive, or nonexistent sense of humor could say the same thing and no one would really know the difference. As such, it'd probably be a stronger choice to commit to something a bit more concrete (and perhaps wise to follow the "show, don't tell" maxim by including some humor in your video).

In sum I think you want to make sure you don't get culled because someone thinks you might not really care (and remember, the person who watches your video might be having a bad day and just be looking for an excuse to throw yours out without examining it critically just so he/she can go home).

Now, like I said, I don't know enough about this process to say that anything I'm saying is an unqualified truth or indeed even useful at all, but I did do a bit of reading about Mars One. It seems like they're playing up the "media" angle in advance of the actual technical aspects. In particular, it seems like they're getting funding by basically relying on the spectacle itself to get funding. If this is the case, I'd be inclined to treat that as more evidence that you should treat this video as much as an audition as a raw statement of fact. To me that'd help explain the emphasis on humor -- I understand that it's important to have a good personality to live in close quarters with a limited number of people for potentially the rest of your life, but my sense is that putting that aspect so front and center is actually more to do with the pre-going-to-mars entertainment value.

Now, you know better than me whether anything I've said is consistent with what you know about this process, so you might have perfectly good reason to ignore everything I've said. These are just my initial impressions based on not really knowing much about what's actually going on.

I err the um what I meant was er I the um-

Are you saying you respected me only because you thought I was female?

I have a few temperamental things to say in reply to that but this topic is not the place. I am not joking when it comes to my applications to MARS-ONE. I want to go and this topic will NOT stray from its purpose. Again this topic has the only purpose of providing me with feedback on my application video and any ways in which it can be fully effective.

L. Spiro

I, um, think he's probably just disappointed that you're not an attractive woman?

Personally, I believe questions 2 & 3 have an additional element to them that's also asking, "Can you indicate to us that you will be able to tolerate the idiocy of others sufficiently that you won't be compelled to kill them? Further, what might you be able to offer that will keep others from the same?"

I might think that experience being locked in an office with co-workers for weeks on end during an intense crunch period might be a good indicator. And the ability to take 4 rocks that you find and turn them into an entertaining game that inspires tournaments that last a couple weeks would be a great way to keep morale high enough to keep murderous intentions at bay. At least long enough for the next version of the game to come out that involves 5 rocks. I'm sure Mars has a lot of rocks you could use for games and stuff if electricity rations ever get short for some reason.

I think touching on working in a game studio like you have works to your advantage in that regard. Hopefully, people reviewing your application should more or less come to those conclusions (though perhaps in a more politically correct or scientific-y way).

You don't touch at all on having formed a new life alone in a foreign country. I have to imagine it gets you some points towards the qualities that they're looking for and I think you should have something in these lines. But, although it is absolutely something that not everyone achieves, I don't think it's quite the same thing as experiencing isolation from society out in the wilds somewhere for any period of time. If you had experience working with a team "in the bush" or say being confined to a submarine (or anything on those lines) then I'd figure that'd be a perfect thing to add. There's nowhere to go. Nothing to do that you didn't bring with you. Just you and the people around you. And your job.

Also, I wouldn't focus too much on production quality of the video beyond ensuring use of allotted time effectively. I'm sure there's a number of actors a lot of people would like to see sent to Mars to die horribly make an entertaining reality show but I'd rather feel part of a mission that was intended to succeed.

Best of luck.

I, um, think he's probably just disappointed that you're not an attractive woman?

*I'm* not disappointed, I was just joking that other's might be.

Without specific quotes from cowsarenotevil, my view is this.

They plan to make money off the reality TV show side of things. One of the questions was about your sense of humor.

Humor may end up being ratings, but it won’t end up sending you to Mars.

Sort the list by rating and you get this on the top: http://applicants.mars-one.com/profile/2330e1b9-498e-420d-836a-6db897415c7f

There are 2 selection processes. One the viewers get to choose and one that actual MARS-ONE staff gets to choose.

She is not going to Mars.

Think of it this way. As a reality TV show they need clowns to get ratings and money.

But clowns are not going to be the people who end up going to Mars. That would be stupid beyond belief. It’s an elimination show and they basically want a bunch of people they can eliminate.

They’ve set it up so that viewers get to pick some people but they also get to pick some people.

They pick people based on actual ability to complete the mission. The people chosen by viewers are there to get ratings and money.

If you want to go, you appeal to the MARS-ONE team directly. Not by how funny your video is etc. A funny video gets you chosen to be on the show for a while, but leaves you with no chance to actually go to Mars. This much should be obvious to anyone who has read their website.

For example, I have seen videos that make me laugh out loud. That’s funny and all, but why would I want that guy on my team taking care of the equipment that keeps me alive on Mars?

There is a question when you post a video asking about your sense of humor. That is why you can see so many jokes when you watch so many of the videos.

The way I see it that that question is a good way to separate those who are serious from those who think it is a joke.

When you see a video where the person is just joking around, eliminate that person. Humor may be good for TV and for some teams, but how does humor help a mission that involves 7 months of space travel and a lifetime on a red desert?

No, I am wrong, it certainly helps, but you know what helps more? A dedication to the mission. Humor is just an addition.

The point is humor has its place, but it does not dominate the mission. I would still say humor is essential, but it’s nothing without balance.

Basically, too many respondents have thought that humor is such a huge factor that they’ve made their videos entirely around it.

This is not a joke. Nothing about it really is. And if they need ratings trust me I am a comedian at heart. But I know when to turn that shit off.

L. Spiro

I won't disagree with any of that. That said, there are a lot of people who are going to apply, and I think it would be a mistake not to assume that quite a few of them will be just as qualified as you. This means that they can probably afford to only look at people who demonstrate the right qualifications as well as a high degree of commitment. My sense from the video as it is now is that it just doesn't make it look like you care as much as you (apparently) really do.

I'm not saying that trying to make the video seem more polished will make you more qualified to go to mars, just that it will demonstrate the willingness to jump through some of the (ultimately irrelevant) hoops that they've put in your way, and that that's probably something you'll need to differentiate yourself from other qualified applicants.

You're absolutely correct that the people who lack the appropriate aptitude will not get to go to mars, but I worry that you might be getting ahead of yourself: you need to be absolutely certain that you will actually make it past the first cut or this might not even matter. Right now I just don't get the sense that your video is really going to "awe" anyone, even if it has all of the right pieces, and I think it'd be worth the time to do whatever you can to draw people to your application.

And if they need ratings trust me I am a comedian at heart. But I know when to turn that shit off.

In that case, if it were me, I'd probably say something more like this in your video. What you say in the video seems a bit ambivalent, like you haven't bothered to think about the question or why they're asking it. What you said here is a much stronger choice, and one that would make me remember you (and, if you're right about what they're looking for, it'd make me remember you in a good way).

Like I said before, the one thing that worries me about what you have now is that a lot of the things you say could have been said by someone who actually doesn't care that much, and I worry that this could prove fatal before anyone even stops to consider your actual qualifications or to learn how enthusiastic you really are.