I would like it to be real time, because the basis of the combat is for an adventure/MMO type format.
hmm....
pacing will be difficult. and the "tells" in real time, also tricky to get right.
an alternative might be to simply build a real melee combat simulator. it would get you everything you want (and probably more), without resorting to approximations and contrivances such as "tells". if your shooting for accuracy and realism, you're leaving the realm of making a mere game ( such as a MMORPG - entertainment software), and entering the realm of building a true simulation ( like a flight sim - real time modeling and simulation software).
I agree, although my intention is to not cater to just the "simulation" crowd. I would just like to make the combat more realistic, but still fun to play by the casual or hardcore gamer.