Quote: Original post by jpetrie
No, I think what is "wrong" with you is that your interests are way too narrowly focused such that you have difficulty establishing a common ground upon which to have a meaningful social interaction with another person (such as a girl).

The solution is to broaden your interests.

Yeah I guess your right, what could I learn thats appealing to most girls and is also useful for other things?

I was thinking of learning to write music since that could also be useful to my interest in making games though I don't really have any interest in writing music and it seems like everyone can do it.

Quote: I've been wondering if I have Asperger syndrome, though I can tell what other people are feeling based on facial expression so I'm not entirely sure if thats whats wrong with me.

Do yourself a favor and don't go down that route. Way too many people these days attempt to blame their quirks on personality disorders--Especially personality disorders which classify them as "Geniuses" in pop culture. If you're honestly concerned, rather than just looking for an excuse, go talk to a psychiatrist--And not the kind that will immediately diagnose you with X syndrome and pop you full of happy pills.

Besides, you can pretty much hold a conversation with anyone if you try to show some interest, and explain your own interests the right way.

Quote: I was thinking of learning to write music since that could also be useful to my interest in making games though I don't really have any interest in writing music and it seems like everyone can do it.

You can't just up and decide you like something. And you can't force yourself to broaden your interests just for the sake of it. All you can do is try different things, approaching them in the proper relaxed manner--As a new pass time, and not a mission-- and see if you actually like them.

You can't "create" interests, you have to develop them.

Also, don't get another creative hobby, sounds to me like you already have your plate full. Try something leisurely, like hiking.

I'm not sure if you are actually unhappy, or if you just feel pressured be more like everyone else. Some people are very happy to live very focused lives where they don't have much interaction with the rest of the world... academics for instance (not all of them of course).

You specifically mention girls, are you trying to 'trick' girls into liking you or do you want to have a girlfriend? If a girl liked you, would you prefer to spend time with her or would you rather be with your XBox?

Quote: Original post by CodaKiller
Yeah I guess your right, what could I learn thats appealing to most girls and is also useful for other things?

Don't base your interests on what is appealing to girls. Base your girls on what is appealing to your interests.

Music, movies, books and school are expected to be easy conversation. Unless you live in a cave I'd be amazed if you're ignorant enough of these things to be unable to hold any conversation about them.

What was the last film you saw? What was your opinion of it?

Quote: Original post by d000hg
I'm not sure if you are actually unhappy, or if you just feel pressured be more like everyone else. Some people are very happy to live very focused lives where they don't have much interaction with the rest of the world... academics for instance (not all of them of course).

You specifically mention girls, are you trying to 'trick' girls into liking you or do you want to have a girlfriend? If a girl liked you, would you prefer to spend time with her or would you rather be with your XBox?

I would prefer a girl who shares the same interests as me but they seem to be in high demand with none in stuck.

I will likely never have a close relationship if I limit myself to girls who only enjoy video games and programming.

Quote: Original post by Sandman

Quote: Original post by CodaKiller
Yeah I guess your right, what could I learn thats appealing to most girls and is also useful for other things?

Don't base your interests on what is appealing to girls. Base your girls on what is appealing to your interests.

Music, movies, books and school are expected to be easy conversation. Unless you live in a cave I'd be amazed if you're ignorant enough of these things to be unable to hold any conversation about them.

What was the last film you saw? What was your opinion of it?

I really don't understand why people like to read story books, they simply bore me and don't seem to have any useful information.

I really don't like much music.

I watch movies once in a while and I enjoy them but I'm not really that interested in them honestly.

I like video games because I enjoy them and like making them.

Quote: Original post by WazzatMan
Also, don't get another creative hobby, sounds to me like you already have your plate full.

tbh, using music creation to relax is a pretty good counterpoint to programming. It's a left side-right side brain thing.

I've found since messing about in FL Studio from time to time that I'm more alert and focused on programming things.

It depends. I used to play with fruity loops a lot, and still do occasionally. But when I started taking it seriously, I found it just as stressful, and time-consuming, as programming. I can say the same thing about writing, which is a long time hobby of mine, and which I consider even -more- stressful than programming.

On the other hand, I find sketching extremely relaxing, because I know I'm bad at it, and that I will never get better at it. I guess it all depends on how someone approaches a task, in the case of the OP, he sounds like he's approaching music writing as a new skill, rather than a pass time.

EDIT: It might just be that I'm incapable of relaxing in front of a computer.

[Edited by - WazzatMan on July 20, 2009 12:05:49 PM]

Quote: Original post by CodaKiller
I really don't understand why people like to read story books, they simply bore me and don't seem to have any useful information.

How much have you read and what kind of stuff did you read that bore you? Any idea what it was about the books that didn't seem fun to you? Maybe you're just one of those people that doesn't like to read, but then I think most of those people just haven't found something they like yet.

Quote: I really don't like much music.

Same as above. I find it hard to believe you don't like any music. So what do you like? How much effort have you expended trying to find music you do like? Have you ever tried learning any kind of instrument in your life and if so what did you or did you not like about it?

Quote: I watch movies once in a while and I enjoy them but I'm not really that interested in them honestly.

No ones asking you to be a professional movie critic. It does give you a common ground with other people to discuss things though.

Quote: I like video games because I enjoy them and like making them.

You should attempt to expand your vocabulary when discussing why you like things because you're being a little tautological right now. Here's how I'd answer that question:

I like to play video games because I like the near instantaneous reward structure that I don't get much in regular life. Having clear goals and being able to redo when I screw up is nice. But, in addition to that (I get near instantaneous rewards from other things like reading, listening to and playing music, and other things), I also have a fairly large amount of inertia and nostalgia built up from my past enjoyment of games when I was younger, for instance in my enjoyment of the Final Fantasy series and other types of role-playing games, shooters, and puzzle games. Speaking of puzzle games, I enjoy solving problems as I get satisfaction from figuring things out, not just in games but with friends and at work. This is another component of video games that give me rewards. And even beyond this when you have the right group of friends you can get together to play some multiplayer games together.

As for music, I like it because sometimes the combination of lyrics and instrumentation strikes me in a very deep, sublime way. It's a social thing for me too as I was in various school-sponsored bands in my life which introduced me to a lot of music I wouldn't hear on the radio. I even had a child-hood dislike of musicals that eventually gave way to being enthusiastic about some musicals, thanks in part to taking a few classes on drama and theater in high school. In my efforts to be sociable I actually tried out and got some parts in some plays and musicals.

I could keep going, but you get the idea. I could also describe why I don't really go in for watching or playing sports (summary: it's not because I think they're stupid it's because I thought that way when I was younger and bad at sports and mostly inertia against ramping up a desire for liking them today). So you see, it can be helpful to be able to analyze in a more deep way why you might like or dislike something.

>> I really don't understand why people like to read story books, they simply bore me and don't seem to have any useful information.

Not everybody enjoys books. They are, after all, just another form of entertainment.

>> I really don't like much music.

Again, it is a form of entertainment.

>> I watch movies once in a while and I enjoy them but I'm not really that interested in them honestly.

Entertainment.

>> I like video games because I enjoy them and like making them.

That's fine -- you are addicted to a single form of entertainment.





What else do you do with your life? There are countless other things to do:



Do you go to the gym or the park? Exercise is important for your body. Get some.

Do you play sports or watch sports? It should be easy to find a group of people to do things with.

Do you play board games or card games with real life people? It mixes games that you like with people that you like.

Do you have any real-life friends? You are obviously social because you post a lot on this forum. You said you suspect Asperger's because you aren't good at real life human interactions. Those interactions are LEARNED, not instinctual. Imagine if you never learned to walk, your legs would be weak and feeble. If you have never seriously exercised your ability to read people's expressions, it is time you spent the time doing it.

Are you expanding your horizons? Take some classes at the local community college or other community center. You can take free or inexpensive classes on just about anything: Drawing, ceramics, photography, writing, storytelling, crafts, woodcarving, gardening, cooking, nutrition, fitness, martial arts, fencing, swimming, finances, recreation, first aid, birdwatching, and just about anything else.



Do you engage in volunteer activities? If you really want to get in touch with humanity, go spend a week helping out at the local shelter.



In other words: Don't just waste your life with mind-numbing entertainment. Go live it.