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Original post by Kest Quote: Original post by swiftcoder Finding the best way to annoy and provoke her enemies comes naturally to her. Virtually without trying, she often causes her enraged opponents to lose focus and clarity... It might just be my imagination, but this particular text seems to lose something when the character is referred to generically this way. However, using their name in place of one he/she might help a lot (see bottom for example).

You may be right, but I tend to approach this as having a specific, distinct narrator (such as Deckard Cane for Diablo).

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Original post by TechnoGoth Also it is generally a bad idea to include the subject you are describing in the description.

Right, but if I'm describing a skill named accuracy, then the subject is the skill, not its name. Sometimes, I need to put a generic word into context, but the reader should already know what the word means.

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You could present the information as exerts from a guide book in which case second person would be the best choice, you could even have tips and advice after the description to add flavour.

I like this idea, but how could I manage it with a futuristic environment? Pipboy style?

Maybe I could just add a small passing event that occurs near the beginning of the game where the player acquires the menu screens as real world resources. If it allows me to add friendly touches to the text, I think it would be worth it.

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Accuracy measures your ability to aim ranged weapons, the lower it is the more likely you are to miss the target and shoot yourself in the foot.

Yes, just like that.

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Tip: When facing someone with bad aim and a big gun the safest place to be is usual right in front of them – Lucky Bob

Heheh, good one.

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Original post by Kest Quote: You could present the information as exerts from a guide book in which case second person would be the best choice, you could even have tips and advice after the description to add flavour. I like this idea, but how could I manage it with a futuristic environment? Pipboy style? Maybe I could just add a small passing event that occurs near the beginning of the game where the player acquires the menu screens as real world resources. If it allows me to add friendly touches to the text, I think it would be worth it.

One word: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (I lie, that was five words). But seriously, an electronic reference to everything in the game - if you can imbue it with the quirky humour, all the better [wink]

I just read Shadowtech the other day, where items, stats etc. are all described from 3rd person perspective, and it think it fits the eshop-style of that book very well. I think this is a professional presentation for such things.

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Characters that I can control are an extension of me. Characters that I can't (or can only briefly control, like General Leo), aren't. This is the more important distinction, in my opinion. When you're describing something about an extension of me, the player, describe it to me. When you're describing something about an object, monster or other character who is merely an actor in my play, then describe it in the third person.

I think it depends on the game style. When you have a serious setting, use a serious (like in the real world) style. When you have a more relaxed setting (eg. a Pokemon-clone), try to suck the players in by directly addressing them.