MSW, that was incredibly interesting. Useless information for me, but I enjoyed the learning experience.

The way the whole scene is built reminds me a lot of the little intro stories we find at the beginning of tabletop RPG books.

The "ambiance" is there, it introduces you well to the world you'll play in.

If there's anything though, it doesnt tell the audience (player) where (S)HE fits in this world/story.

Either add/modify to explain it. or have a 2nd part to the intro that focus on the player.



And, like another poster mentionned, things that wont be in the game need to be removed from the intro. For example, if weapon X isnt in the game, don't show weapon X in the intro

two years later and im still getting feedback LOL. I'm actually 70 pages into this script now...I've been juggling quite a few

Quote: Original post by SCDumbFounDeD
two years later and im still getting feedback LOL. I'm actually 70 pages into this script now...I've been juggling quite a few

Would be interesting to see what happened with this scene 2 years later, curiosity ;)


(never thought years old threads would be on the first page heh)

Games don't have nearly enough immersive storylines these days, it's all graphics and special effects :( That scene got me sucked in, I like it. I'd love games to have far more cutscenes and deeper stories. I see nothing wrong with making a fully interactive movie.

- I like it.

Quote: Original post by Mattox
Games don't have nearly enough immersive storylines these days, it's all graphics and special effects :( That scene got me sucked in, I like it. I'd love games to have far more cutscenes and deeper stories. I see nothing wrong with making a fully interactive movie.

- I like it.

I think I get what your saying but you've contridicted yourself there.

Fully interactive movie vs more cutscenes (I.E. non interactive).

Only one crit:
You got me all interested in the story and then....nothing! I want more!


I love the first scene. I think it sets up a nice intro for some good old fashion/futuristic ass whoppin'.
I can imagine the way the place looks and feels by your brief descriptions. I know this is an old post, so I am curious...do you have any story boards or anything else you can/wish to share?

70 pages in two years?

Wow, somebody is slacking.

Although, I suppose after two years it's pretty easy to get bored with a story as simple as this.

Broaden the scope.
Don't start with a scene, start with a slate.

I like the way this is going. After all, it was a movie script that made games go from spacewar to karateka. If you keep on emphasizing this aspect, you might come up with a different type of game though, more like an interactive story somewhat... Good luck with that, and I`m definately a fan (I`ve been on the acting scene a bit as well)