here's a visual one:

Abbott: Do me a favor. Loan me $50.Costello: I can't lend you $50. All I've got is $40.Abbott: That's okay. Give me the $40, and you'll owe me $10.Costello: How come I owe you $10?Abbott: What did I ask you for?Costello: $50.Abbott: What did you give me?Costello; $40.Abbott: So you owe me $10.Costello: That's right. But you owe me $40. Give me my $40 back.Abbott: There's your $40. Now give me the $10 you owe me.         That's the last time I'll ever ask you for the loan of $50.Costello: How can I loan you $50 now? All I have is $30.Abbott: Give me the $30, and you’ll owe me $20.Costello: This is getting worse all the time.           First I owe you $10, and now I owe you $20!Abbott: So you owe me $20. Twenty and 30 is 50.Costello; Nope! Twenty-five and 25 is 50.Abbott: Here's your $30. Give me back my $20.Costello: All I've got now is $10!

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician (it is said) were holidaying in Scotland. Glancing from a train window, they observed a black sheep in the middle of a field.

"How interesting," observed the astronomer, "all scottish sheep are black!"

To which the physicist responded, "No, no! Some Scottish sheep are black!"

The mathematician gazed heavenward in supplication, and then intoned, "In Scotland there exists at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which is black."

Quote:

Original post by ukdeveloper This thread should have retired months ago? Last reply before mine was on 1st July?

What do you call an old non-retired thread on gamedev?
Petrified Cheese!

You heard about the Jewish man and the Japanese woman that got married?

They had a daughter named "Sosumi"

(so sue me)

What do you call O.J. Simpson, Magic Johnson, and Mike Tyson?

The Butcher, the Laker and Licence Plate Maker.

Sugar Ray Leonard, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, and Sugar Ray Johnson are going to open a coffee shop.

They're gonna call it "Kareem and Two Sugars."

Quote:

Original post by pkelly83 Tá beirt dunie Provo ag suil ar an bothar i bealfeiste, duirt amhain "Ceapainn tú an fir sin ar an UVF", Duirt an Provo eile "Ní ceapaim".

"Ní ceapaim", lol

Quote:

Original post by aidan_walsh Last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise....... [...snip]

....OMFG.....I want to kick you in the teeth, yet hug you at the same time

One day Lord of a distand land dicided to satisfy his little need: To do some quest.
He has travelled for a while, and finally found a large tableland covered with human remains. There, at the center of this tableland was cloudy montain with a large cave. 'This should be a dragon lair' - he thought and came closer.
Then he gave a a shout: 'Hey beast - i wish to fight with ya and put an End to your villainy!'.
Dragon answerered: 'Okay, if you wish to fight a can give you a fight; But explain me one thing: why do you yelling into my ass?'

From one of my math professors:

A statistician and his friend go hunting. After a few days wandering the forest they come across a deer. The statistician's friend takes a shot at it, but the bullet misses a few feet to the left. After reloading his rifle, he tries again but over compensates and the bullet veers too far right. The statistician stands, slaps his friend on the back and declares "Good job! You got it!"

...