TechnoGoth:

no offese here!!! Me as a representative of a non-native English speaking folk find that story quite boring. While protecting someone is not very original (guys have been protecting chicks since times when real knights existed and probably long before that) generally if well that kind of a story could work quite well.
The theme/world is boring - gangs - bangs nothing cool here. Quit the idea that everybody lost their memory or a horrible desease killed the people.

And don''t put any spiders in your game, please! I hate games with bugs and spiders! It''s totally stupid! There is nothing more stupid than killing spiders or games about evil arabs, russians and other diaobolic ethnic groups.
Try to balance the characters: don''t make the good guys too good and the bad too bad.

I don''t know if you care about what I have said so that''s all for now.

Good luck! Thinking of a good idea is probably the most difficult part. Well implementing it is not much easier

P.S. I''ve been personally writting a story in English for the S.T.A.L.K.E.R (www.stalker-game.com) competition and abandoned it just because it started to remind me too much of a hollywood movie and I think the world doesn''t need another hollywood inspired story. I have scrapped at least 5 completely different ideas before I stalled.

jerubaal:
umm... What storylines problems are you refering to? As far as I can tell there are no story line problems. Although I relize that there may be some confusion since I haven't really gone into much detial about the story line. What I've present thus far is more or less the introduction to the game.

Essentially whats written amounts to the games opening. You'd see the intro with a few still images and possible a voice over after selecting new game.

AP:
Well protecting someone isn't really the point of the game the game is about figuring about whats going on and whats happened. In fact its possible to play the game through without ever encountering Ami again.

So the theme doesn't appeal to you? Oh well can't really do much about that if you don't like post apocaliptic games or games with gangs then you'll probably not enjoy this one. But I personally think a game taking place in ruined city in which everyone has lost the knowledge of how to use modern technology, would be interesting to play in. Gangs using makeshift weapons and living in the remains of sky scrappers sounds like interesting subject matter to me. But then again to each their own.

As far as disease... um I'm not sure where that came from since I never mentioned a disease or that everone was dead... just that there where only a few hundred people living in the city, so I guess people must of jumped to the conclusion that everyone else was dead.

Spiders? Now I've got to say no offence but that came out of no where. Where did that come from?? But to answer your question there are no gaint insects all the enemies are humans, possibly some dogs but we will see.

I think that perhaps maybe more information on the story is need since I really only gave the intro. But Then again people have said time and again they don't like reading long posts.

But heres the answers to comman questions, bare in mind though I don't have it all thought out yet:

1)Why haven't other cities sent people to investigate?
Either The city is the whole world, there is nothing outside the city, the city is in fact the whole world. Or the city is the whole world and its surrounded by endless wasteland. I haven't decided yet it depends which direction I take the plot.

2)What kind of enemies are there?
Enemies are all other people,and possibly some dogs.

3)What happend to everyones memory?
What would be the point of playing if I answered that.

4)Why don't they just read books to familirize themselves with their surroundings?
No one but you can read. Also they wouldn't know what a book was even if they found one, let alone know where to find them.

5)Whats the point of the game?
That depends on the player. There are multiple paths and endings it all depends on what you want to achomplish.

6)What do I know at the start?
i]Your in a ruined city that you've never heard of.
ii]The people claim the city is the entire world.
iii]There are two moons instead of one.
iv]No one can remember anything.
v]You woke up several years after everyone else in the city
vi]The population of the city is tiny compared to its size and there are no signs of mass deaths or graves. Just an absence of people.

Does that help at all?





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Writer, Programer, Cook, I'm a Jack of all Trades
Current Design project
Chaos Factor Design Document



[edited by - TechnoGoth on January 16, 2004 3:07:40 AM]

[edited by - TechnoGoth on January 16, 2004 4:24:47 AM]

quote: So the theme doesn''t appeal to you? Oh well can''t really do much about that if you don''t like post apocaliptic games or games with gangs then you''ll probably not enjoy this one. But I personally think a game taking place in ruined city in which everyone has lost the knowledge of how to use modern technology, would be interesting to play in. Gangs using makeshift weapons and living in the remains of sky scrappers sounds like interesting subject matter to me. But then again to each their own.

Don''t get me wrong! This is your game you do what you want. This was just my feedback.
Well... I can''t say I don''t like postapocalyptic games, especially that for example Fallout 2 is one of my all time favorites (I''ve played it for the first time a few months ago) but this theme starts getting a little bit worn-out lately.

quote: Spiders? Now I''ve got to say no offence but that came out of no where. Where did that come from?? But to answer your question there are no gaint insects all the enemies are humans, possibly some dogs but we will see.

This is just a suggestion You''ve asked for suggestions, haven''t you?
Once again: Fallout 2 - the game begins with killing giant ants... so stupid... so stupid sooo boooriinng

quote: I think that perhaps maybe more information on the story is need since I really only gave the intro. But Then again people have said time and again they don''t like reading long posts.

I''m not here to prove you wrong or incompetent! You want feedback I''m giving it to you. If you don''t like it don''t pay attention to it.

I have personally tried writing stories/comics for long time ( perhaps about 15 years). So I''m think that I''m not totaly inexperienced how to write a story. If I''m allowed to give you an advice. Write your story down (finish it). Put it aside for some time and forget about it. Then when you have forgotten what you have written about. Read it and if you like it - it is probably a good story and you''ll notice the weak spots, which you can correct if you like.

quote: 2)What kind of enemies are there?
Enemies are all other people,and possibly some dogs.

If you want my oppinion drop the dogs Too many bad dogs in too many games! Use dogs only if they are watchdogs accompanying human guards/soldiers, etc.

quote: 3)What happend to everyones memory?
What would be the point of playing if I answered that.

Neurotoxic gas released by some evil soviet agents or by Saddam Husssein ??? who''s trying to take over Canada.

Just joking I see you''re from Canada and I watch too much South Park.

quote: 5)Whats the point of the game?
That depends on the player. There are multiple paths and endings it all depends on what you want to achomplish.

That''s a good one!

quote: Original post by TechnoGoth
jerubaal:
umm... What storylines problems are you refering to? As far as I can tell there are no story line problems. Although I relize that there may be some confusion since I haven''t really gone into much detial about the story line. What I''ve present thus far is more or less the introduction to the game.

The confusion is what i was refering to. I was just suggesting a few wayd to resolve them, in case you hadn''t already