A lot of you who have never been to the GDC are probably reading our press coverage in order to get an idea what it's like. I'm kind of wondering that too, since this is the first time I've been. My first impression so far can pretty much be described as "OMG ZERG RUSH"; by which I of course mean "Gosh, there sure are a lot of people here".

In any case, if you're anything like me (hopefully not.. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE HIGHLANDER), you're probably a bit curious about the little things, like, you know, what the hell you're supposed to do when you're out here. The short answer is: pretty much the exact opposite of everything I've done so far. Here's some valuable life lessons I've learned so far:

- Don't get trapped on the wrong side of the chinese new years parade, and then walk 3 miles in the wrong direction. Just, you know, in case you were tempted to do that... for some reason.

- If you're offered a hotel room reservation really close to the GDC, don't forego it in favor of a Bed and Breakfast 3 miles away that doesn't have internet. You know, in case you were thinking of doing that too. Ahem.

- San Francisco is FULL of homeless people. To be honest, I'm not really sure how it compares to other large cities since I've more or less lived a rather sheltered life (my parents didn't even let me out of the cellar until I was 18), but so far I haven't been able to walk more than about a block without being asked for change.

Of course, since I don't like giving away the money I begged off my parents, I've been trying to think of ways to avoid being asked for my spare change. My current strategy has been to cleverly disguise myself as a fellow homeless person. I don't think bums usually ask each other for money, although I suppose if they did that might be kindof funny.

Needless to say, it hasn't worked out too well so far. Apparently they can tell the difference between an idiotic college student with a really bad neckbeard and a genuine homeless person. I guess I need to start yelling about the government putting flouride in our tap water or something.

Incidentally, I really wish bums would be more honest about what they plan to spend their money on. Yeah, sure you want to buy food. Just say you plan to get unbelievably drunk and forget the entire day ever happened. I'm a college student, I understand! In fact, I approve.

- Busses are pretty much the best way to get around San Fran. Walking through the ghetto with 50 pounds of luggage after your flight is slightly less preferable. There's also the cable cars, but I haven't tried those yet because I greatly fear new things.

- Apparently cell phones are handy when you're lost in a large city thousands of miles away from home. I wish I had considered this fact before I left without one.