Hi,
I am developing a roguelike deckbuilder set in the far future; called Aurora Nova. You are a species called the Ranokk who were nearly exterminated, but somehow survived. Now you are back on the galactic stage, and you find a Galactic Union of many of the Milky Way's spacefaring species has arisen. And the species leading that council turns out to be the one that nearly exterminated your kind long ago. A massive war erupts between the technologically advanced Ranokk, vs the numerous Galactic Union (and more).
The game will be very similar to an amalgamation of Slay the Spire, Banner of Ruin, and Roguebook. The Galaxy Map for selecting missions may invoke a feeling of the original Mass Effect.
The player is the captain of their task force of ships, commanding the ships and away crews. The away crews exist purely in story and art. This is not a first or third person game for moving characters around. Story content is much more static than the battles you will have with your ships and the card deck. So as such, the story content is delivered a bit like a novel, where the scene is described and dialogue is inserted into the text. There may be background art for these story sections, and each panel of the story is essentially like turning a page in a novel. You will have branching options, however. This can change the outcome of these story missions, and result in great rewards or possible negative results too.
I have a story intro when starting a new campaign that I want to put below for feedback. Does the intro to the entire game (labeled “Story Intro Panel 1 etc)” make you interested in learning more about this game's universe and lore? Does the tutorial story (labeled “Tutorial Mission Story Piece 1” etc) make you interested in playing the game and finding more stories? Does my approach to story-telling sound purple-prosey, contrived, boring, or confusing?
Also, below that story intro, I want to paste the first Tutorial story mission. In addition to space battles, there will be other missions like story exploration missions where you weigh risk and reward as you move through an event progression that is heavy on story content.
One way of looking at the story missions is that they are like the Reward Chest nodes in Slay the Spire. But more than simply opening a chest and getting the reward, you can experience a story. If you don't want to, you can instantly receivee the reward and skip it, though. But if you choose to go through the story panels, you can essentially choose the path through the story and impact exactly what reward you get.
Thanks so much if anyone reads this and thank you for any amount or kind of feedback (I have thick skin). Here is an older demo of gameplay on Youtube.
---- STORY INTRO PANEL 1 ----
Setting
Scene shows a Ranokk vessel approaching what looks like a large and grandiose space station. The seat of the Galactic Union Council.
Writing
We are an ancient alien race called the Ranokk. Our species was nearly wiped out by an enigmatic enemy, the Accretions, over a billion years ago. But we escaped extinction. A small population survived in stasis until recently.
We are a remnant of that hyper-advanced species. For many years our kind has recovered our technology and rebuilt everything once lost. We detected no sign of the ancient threat that nearly triggered our extinction, but a successful Galactic Union of numerous space-faring species took custodial control over the greater Milky Way.
---- STORY INTRO PANEL 2 ----
Setting
Scene shows a large council chamber of several species around an enormous circular table with escalating height, leading to the prime seat at the top where a special alien takes a seat.
Writing
Ranokk leadership, known as The Core, decided that it was finally time to emerge from the shadows on the fringes of the galaxy and ingratiate ourselves with the new order. We were met with surprise and elation as our emissaries initiated first contact.
The galaxy was abuzz with reports of a new, technologically advanced neighbor with so much to offer to the galactic community. Our ambassadors journeyed to the seat of the council for a formal meeting of all council species representatives.
The founding species of the council took a seat of prominence in the forum. Almost never seen, these creatures guided the Galactic Council from behind the curtains.
But it didn't make sense. Something wasn't right.
---- STORY INTRO PANEL 3 ----
Setting:
In the previous scene of a council chamber, the focus is on the prominent alien species, scowling at you. Put some emphasis on a human ambassador sitting near the Accretion - to show that humans are a part of this Galactic Union as well.
Writing
They looked like the species that was our closest ally in the war against the Accretions. But our ally betrayed us in a deal to avert their own extinction. Our civilization survived long enough to see this species themselves betrayed, and wiped from existence by the Accretion threat.
When we questioned how they survived the great war, they scowled and fell silent, before promptly standing up and leaving the chambers without a word. The reality of the situation began to to set in. It seemed the Accretion menace did not fade from the cosmos. They were here all along, hiding in their victim's skin.
---- STORY INTRO PANEL 4 ----
Setting:
Scene of a human appearing to slowly metamorphose. This is an accretion changing form.
Writing
The Accretions were reported to have the ability to absorb DNA, and morph their physical form to match a victim. Although the process supposedly took a long time to complete and it was difficult for them to maintain this form.
Accretions did not have an overwhelming military, or the most advanced technology on the battlefield. They wiped out countless species with a finely honed talent for subterfuge that was perfected by their ability to mimic others. And now they know we're back.
Why are they pulling the strings of an entire union of species? Why have they not simply wiped them out like they did to us and so many others? What are they scheming? Whatever they have in store, it is likely their plans will be accelerated now. And they have an entire galactic military potentially at their disposal to fight us in the inevitable coming war.
---- STORY INTRO PANEL 5 ----
Setting
A scene of a giant space battle, with a small group of Rannok vessels in the foreground, and what seems like an endless wall of enemy ships in the distance, with incoming fire.
Writing
They wasted little time attacking our forces. Not unexpectedly, they performed false flag attacks on Galactic Union settlements and outposts, framing us as the aggressors. Now the entire Galactic Union was against us. Our armada immediately engaged the threat head on.
And now here we are.
This is where you fit into our efforts to avert another downfall of the Ranokk race. You will be charged with guiding an elite task force of military ships as you detect and engage critical enemy infrastructure. Cripple the Galactic Council so that they can't properly fight our armada. Or work to prove what the Accretions have done, which could potentially bring the Galactic Council's might to bear against the Accretion menace. The Accretions will likely have several surprises in store for us. We need to react and adapt. We must fight until we've won; or died. The Ranokk species was given a second chance, and if we don't adjust and innovate, our species will undoubtedly become extinct this time.
-------------------------------------------- End of Story Intro-------------------------------------------
----------------------------Beginning of Game's First Story Mission (Tutorial)---------------------------------
Mission Prompt:
We've detected an anomaly in a nearby star system. A strange, weak analog signal. Our quantum learning algorithms confirm it is not of natural origin. For us to be receiving the signal at this distance, it has been traveling for approximately 74 thousand years. Our VI core took the liberty of calculating its origin and scanning. It appears to have come from a facility on a barren moon. What's more, the facility is intact. Should we investigate?
-- Tutorial Mission Story Panel 1 --
Your tactical unit has landed in what was once a large shuttle bay. The bay walls are a dull, pitted brown-grey. The moon must have a tenuous atmosphere that slowly eats at the structure's surface. With so little atmosphere for sound to travel, the scene is shrouded in an oppressive blanket of pure silence. There is nothing but the gentle hiss of oxygen regulators and the occasional disembodied voice speaking over the intercoms.
You press a comms button from the bridge of your ship, “Proceed”.
A Ranokk scout taps the holographic display on their wrist before removing a magnetic device from the door controls. The heavy metal bulk heads begrudgingly creep open, releasing a blast of atmosphere that can be felt through the space suits.
They venture further inside the derelict station.
-- Tutorial Mission Story Panel 2 --
It is a time capsule. A snapshot of some great calamity that happened many lifetimes ago. It cannot have been disturbed in all this time. With such low gravity, mummified corpses drift lazily through an acrid, hazy air. The extreme cold that crept over the facility after power failed perfectly preserved the bodies.
“Scanners don't recognize this species. The DNA is damaged, but we detect... 8 base pairs,” says the scout over the video comms feed, showing everything they see.
“What do you think?” you ask the ship's Virtual Intelligence. A holographic Ranokk form projected from a pedestal beside the captain's chair turns its head to you.
“I detect a single entry for DNA-based organisms with 8 base pairs. Error: The record is locked behind Security Level 2 encryption”, the computer program replies.
“Why would information about any organism be Security Level 2? I can read seemingly anything about the Accretions at Level 0. And they tried to exterminate us.”
“I do not know. Perhaps the answers are here?”
“Sounds risky”, you reply.
- CHOICE #1:
Venture further. (Rewards/Dangers unknown.)
- CHOICE #2:
Leave the facility. We have more important matters to attend to. (Gain 150 experience, 50 Novallenium)
-- Tutorial Mission Story Piece 3 (Choice #1 Track) --
A Ranokk scout approaches one of the corpses. Running a clawed hand over the contours of the long-dead alien's form, they re-orient the creature into an almost-standing pose.
It doesn't look right. Almost as if the organism's features were too chaotic. There is little order to its structure. How could an intelligent, space-faring creature manipulate the world around it in meaningful ways with such peculiar appendages? Spikes where there should be palms. Serrated... teeth, where there should be finger tips. Its face contorted and fanged jaw agape, frozen in a final angry roar.
As far as dexterity is concerned, the Ranokk are well aware that we are not gifted with the most desirable physical traits for interacting with delicate instruments and intricate tools. But something about these aliens suggests that they were never able to construct something as complex as this facility.
One thing is certain. They aren't native to this dead moon. The radiation on the unshielded surface is far too intense.
What happened here?
- CHOICE #1:
We've found an interesting jury-rigged device in front of the next set of bulkheads. It projects a powerful shield that could be wielded as an emergency single-use shield for one of our vessels. (Gain an Arc Infusion shield booster item, along with 150 experience.)
- CHOICE #2:
Venture further. (Rewards/Dangers unknown.)
-- Tutorial Mission Story Piece 4 (CHOICE #1 Track) --
Your team pushes into what appears to be a medical bay. Or more accurately, a morgue. The room is clogged with decaying body bags. Arms and legs puncture through the weakened fabric's walls. Hefty snowflakes of decomposing textiles meander across the spaces between shapes and figures.
“If it wasn't already clear. Keep your masks on”, you transmit to the away team.
Not that anyone was inclined to trade their well-filtered air for 74 thousand years of a stagnant miasma. Not to mention that the air wasn't exactly breathable in its own right. Maybe this species had different respiratory needs. Maybe the composition changed after all this time.
Finally an important-looking hallway appeared through the din. This could be the control room, or at least an important analogue.
-- Tutorial Mission Story Piece 5 --
Your team proceeds into a grand semi-circle with vast windows overlooking a complex of buildings, fissures, gaps, and valleys on the moon's surface. Dirt-covered machinery and walkways stretch as far as the eyes could see. This room declares itself to be a control room, if you'd ever seen one.
Computer terminals and holographic projectors valiantly attempt to power-up and stand to attention as your squad approaches them. But the taxing burden of time and neglect make them flicker and die before you.
One of your scouts attaches a hacking device to a terminal. The magnetic puck chirps and blinks. A deep and shuddering rumble shakes the ground beneath your team's feet. Ancient ships start to rise from the valleys and gaps in the ground beyond the windows. It is a massive fleet of cargo ships.
This might be useful...
You send a missive to the Ranokk Core, requesting them to complete the analysis of this site. For now, you have incredibly important work to do, so you order the return of your squad to the ship.
(Gain augmentation “Advanced Storage System”, along with 250 experience.)
