I learned BBC BASIC with an emulator on my family Acorn Archimedes computer when I was 11.

Later I took computer studies in high school and learned a little bit more.

Then I failed computer science (c sharp, c++) at Uni and decided to focus on studying creative subjects.

Then I discovered Python and enjoyed it because it has so much in common with BASIC - no more line numbers tho

:(

I finally recently picked up Javascript and I'm upto variable scope and closures 75pgs into my first Javascript textbook. I want to learn Javascript, RPG Maker MV, Liberty BASIC (for an e-course I'm developing on imagineering) and NESMaker for 2d protoyping. I also want to tinker with Twine and BBC Micro BASIC via windows emu - Beebem.

I've got the list of first games to code. I'm collaborating on a few creative projects - indie video games. I'm writing about 9 scripts for adventure indie video games and a twine. I've also started to design my first game - low on graphics and fx, sophisticated mechanics, no story.

anybody else out there just started diving deep into code for indie game dev?

anybody else had such a long onagain offagain relationship with learning to code?

Learning to program hasn't been an issue for me. I started with GWBASIC and QBASIC, although my father did inspire me with his Acorn Atom and BBC Micro examples. I've caught on early and have just kept on learning since then; VB4 and 6 was a natural next step. Messed with Java during my further education but mostly stuck with VB6 until 2009. Then I jumped into C++ and Python. From 2010 I programmed in Delphi, then took on the web stack up and including TypeScript in 2016. C++, Python and Js are my main go-tos now, though.

I wanted to work in the game industry 10 years ago, but then I got a job and it's more of a hobby thing now. I don't like the pressure, and the “final attempt” of yours also expresses some of the toxicity I feel can be associated with the domain at times.

The part taking long is the engagement with a project. I'm tired of little projects, I'm making something big now.

I take breaks to start (and finish) more little projects now and then, but the horizon on the main project just moves further away in the meantime. It's been over 4 years now.

So although I can't recommend working on something very big and with a vaguely-defined scope, I can recommend changing pace now and then, trying on new stuff like you've been doing.