I've been struggling lately to come up with what is probably the last piece of my story, so if any of you have ideas I'd love to hear them. So here's the general scenario: you catch a thief stealing data, thief goes to jail but you make a deal with the thief to track down the boss, you go to a place where the thief is supposed to drop the data off to a courier and in the end you find and confront the boss. I could do it like follow/torture the courier but I need something that takes a bit more time and builds up to the eventual boss meeting.

Got a second story line interwoven with the thief story?

What if the thief tells you a fake location to get you killed in an ambush?  When you defeat the ambush you learn that they escaped and are holding a family member hostage.

It might help if we knew what the deal with the thief was. I find it more interesting when a story has interconnected aspects.

2 minutes ago, Guy Fleegman said:

It might help if we knew what the deal with the thief was. I find it more interesting when a story has interconnected aspects.

Sure. First of all the larger setting is kind of rebels vs empire but it's gray where one side isn't clearly the bad guys. Many rebels live in a remote area walled off from the empire lands.The thief is a young rebel who infiltrates a research station to steal data that could be used to overthrow the empire. Thief is injured and the player saves her life leading to a bond between them. Thief has never before seen what it's like outside the wall, only heard stories from other rebels. In this part of the game the thief gets exposed to the empire's way of life and the player influences whether or not the thief embraces the empire or not. Thief is also a potential romance option. Anything else you'd like to know?

5 minutes ago, In0v4 said:

Anything else you'd like to know?

Is there a second story line interwoven with the thief story? Or is there only the one story line?

4 minutes ago, Tom Sloper said:

Is there a second story line interwoven with the thief story? Or is there only the one story line?

The stolen data is part of a larger plot against the empire but other than that, no.

Hey In0v4!

I just saw your post and would like to share a finishing storyline:

Thief Drops off Data:

At the drop off location, she is a bit hesitant with following through because she too feels the romantic connection that is forming between herself and the player. She is fighting within herself whether or not her ways are as justifying as she was taught. With one foot ready to stab you in the back and the other foot pondering on her beliefs. She messes up a code phrase alerting the courier. With quick thinking, the courier takes the the thief captive to question whether or not she has been compromised. The courier is known for dealing with moles/rats. So things escalate quickly!

The player has been viewing the whole situation and starts to tail the courier as he takes the thief to rebel sight for questioning. Now the player has to find a way to save the thief because she is now frightened to the point where the whole mission will be a loss. 

Things start getting grim as the thief starts breaking down. With no choice the player decides to take action. He takes the courier out against orders and saves the thief with the data back in his lap. With touching dialogue and more romantic connections. She starts feeling bad for the player because he compromised his mission to save her. She then gives him the idea of taking the place of the courier. With lots of consideration the player finally builds up the courage to take the place of the courier; while the thief decides to help him and see how things play out, as she hasn't fully left her rebellious stance towards the empire.

(If you like what I came up with so far and would like more added let me know)

Hope this helps! 

~Ryan

45 minutes ago, In0v4 said:

Sure. First of all the larger setting is kind of rebels vs empire but it's gray where one side isn't clearly the bad guys. Many rebels live in a remote area walled off from the empire lands.The thief is a young rebel who infiltrates a research station to steal data that could be used to overthrow the empire. Thief is injured and the player saves her life leading to a bond between them. Thief has never before seen what it's like outside the wall, only heard stories from other rebels. In this part of the game the thief gets exposed to the empire's way of life and the player influences whether or not the thief embraces the empire or not. Thief is also a potential romance option. Anything else you'd like to know?

Yeah, back to my original question. What was the deal that was made while she was in jail for stealing data?

1 minute ago, Guy Fleegman said:

Yeah, back to my original question. What was the deal that was made while she was in jail for stealing data?

Oh, of course. If she helps uncover the plot against the empire (so find the boss), stealing of the data will be forgiven.