So, I've been on a similar journey. Off and on I've been building an engine for about 5 years. Originally in DX11, then ported to DX12, and most recently I've rewrote it from scratch in Vulkan, though I'm just at an early stage now. I think I've learned a lot, and it was a worthwhile experience, but I'm nowhere close to finishing a game after all that time. In that sense, if I wanted to finish a game, I could have done so with Unity or Unreal in much less time. However, I'm sticking with it because I have an original idea I'm not sure can be done right now in the off-the-shelf engines, and I want to give it a shot.
That said, I have evaluated the commercial engines, mostly Unity and some Unreal, as well as quick tests in less popular engines like CryEngine, (the now defunct) Stingray, etc. I've found they all did some stuff well and some stuff not so much. Unity is pretty solid overall, and probably would be my pick if I had to choose one. There are some specific reasons it's not perfect for my project, and I would like a stable Linux editor, but overall it's OK. Unreal looks really nice graphics-wise, but I found the editor to be bloated (it takes forever to load, even on a top-shelf system), and is really unstable. I've had it crash when doing seemingly common things like deleting an asset from the project (and made worse since it takes forever to load up again). One time the crash completely corrupted the project and I was unable to open it again (loading the project itself would crash). Of course, I had a backup, but it still doesn't make me feel comfortable that my project could be permanently corrupted just by removing a texture. Unreal also has limited support for custom shaders, which is fine if you like the "Unreal look", but if you want to do something unique there may be hurdles. The smaller engines I tried have some interesting features but ultimately didn't look significant better than Unity/Unreal. And there is a concern of continued support with the less popular options, like the financial situation with Crytek, or Autodesk shutting down Stingray after like 2 years. That would be really troublesome, for example if you spent 2 years building a game in Stingray only to have the engine maker abandon the project.
However, if your game is fairly generic in the functionality and graphics style, you could certainly do something with Unity or Unreal. In terms of the level editor, you wouldn't be using the engine editor to give to users, rather you would build a custom editor into your game itself. In which case, you can make it simple and user-friendly. Both Unity and Unreal use PhysX, which is pretty decent for most common use-cases. You can use arbitrary convex shapes, though, to your point, Unity used to support concave objects with an older PhysX version, and then Nvidia removed that feature. While you can still simulate concave objects with a set of convex shapes, it would require some rework if you had built your game around this functionality.
In my case, I'm investigating advanced physics solutions using the GPU, and this is a little difficult with commercial engines. While it can be done, it feels like you are fighting the engine in a way when attempting this. For example, in Unity, you could write a physics engine in a compute shader and then render dynamic objects. However, if you do this, it bypasses all the standard material shaders, in which case you lose shadowing, lighting, etc. So you'd have to rewrite the lighting and shadowing yourself and then hope it plays nice with other objects that are rendered normally. Unreal, on the surface, seems better since you have the source code and can make arbitrary changes. However, if you want to update the engine, then you'll have to manually merge those changes every time you want to update, and things could break in unexpected ways. At that point, you would have to have extensive knowledge of the code-base and would probably be capable of writing your own engine.
All that said, if you are making a vanilla game, then the existing commercial engines would probably do fine. They have their pros and cons, but they cut out a ton of work for you on day one. If you are trying to do something more innovative, I think custom engines still have a place. Even if not, working on one is a great learning experience and definitely a solid way to gain some skills. I've gone back and forth over the years (and abandoned and restarted the project several times) but I do think it can be worthwhile in some situations. Good luck!