I feel nothing. I am nothing. My past is irrelevant.

I realize now that games are for the chimpanzees.

you are nothing, and games are made for you.

and thats not my fault, that people make crap unity based games.

And i dont feel sorry for you i feel sorry for all those who make crap.

I get what you're saying. Games can begin to seem tedious and tiresome if you spend too much time with them. However, as a developer, you have the power to create change. If you're not satisfied with the state of gaming, or the state of the world for that matter, you can always try to be the change you want to see in the world. Or more specifically be the change you want to see in the game industry.

If you are feeling depressed, as frob mentioned before, it would be a really good idea to seek professional help. However the previous comments felt somewhat hasty, so I would like to stress the fact that there is nothing wrong with seeking help with problems such as depression. It is in fact a very common illness, and like all illness you visit a doctor to help you get better. The same way you visit a hospital when your bones break, you should also visit a hospital if your spirit breaks.

If professional help is not an option for you, try to discuss your feelings with your close friends or family. People you trust. They might be able to help you, and possibly provide answers to you that we simply can not, because we don't know you as well as they do.

Game design teaches the "how" of making games, but what about the "why'?

For the higher purpose of entertaining people

I feel nothing. I am nothing. My past is irrelevant.

I realize now that games are for the chimpanzees. Games are just about war and swinging back and forth on grapple beams.

Chalanger is the basic of every game (chaos,oponent...)

I feel nothing masculine, nothing feminine.

I have no desire to purchase fancy cars, shoot things, build things, punch things, swing from vines, no desire to save women from monsters, no desire for competition online..

You can never know, predicting things and future is the primary feed for depression

I have no desire to customize my character, gossip, wear makeup, read stories, match 3 gems, or laugh at esoteric humor, no desire for communications with randoms online.

Having no desire for clishe MMO gameplay is no problem I'd say

I am neither masculine, nor feminine.

If you are not masculine, you are feminine, get logic together

I am hermaphroditus, son of gods. I feel no past, no future. I am timeless, no personality, free from desire.

which gods If I politely may ask?

Tell me, why I should make games.

Becouse you are already doing that, ultimate quitting is wrong, instead open a new empty project, with empty files. Does not mean you just divorced your old projects, it means you are putting old projects back on their feets, able to incorporate new horizons and corrections

If you are not masculine, you are feminine, get logic together

This is not the case for those who are genderqueer or hermaphrodites.

You seem pretty inspired in the way you write, IMO.. Very poetic. Why not bind a visual style to that, and create a game expressing that.

"We've seen all there is to see" -> That will never be true..its like saying theres no more books to write cause we read all theres to read.

Once you are out of the hole you're inn I am sure you will make some great stuff.. true artists are all a little messed up ;)

Tell me, why I should make games.

Telling you why you should make games is a waste of time. Either you will or you wont, the only arbiter of that decision is yourself. Your post (as well previous posts) seem to consist of your subjective opinions which, while they can hold a certain level of validity in of themselves, don't lend themselves to being taken to seriously when this is all that comprises your "community recognition". (This is of course my subjective opinion.)

Given that you appear to possess a skill-set as demonstrated by your drift-car physics why do you not take the opportunity to utilise this knowledge in aiding others or yourself for that matter? This would go some way to alleviating the image you are seemingly creating on this site...unless of course this is your intention.

All we are is dust in the wind, capiche?