At the moment, I feel like I've been dropped in the middle of a vast desert without a map. That's essentially the experience of trying to make a game for a particular genre without prior experience in that area, and without guidance. The reason why games, music, movies, art, etc. have been classified with different genres is because they share many features. They're different, of course, but they do have similar attributes. Romanic comedies tend to have romance and comedy. Heavy metal music usually includes guitars with distortion. I was only looking for a bit of guidance finding the general features that compose an RPG.
Genres are ways for consumers to classify media, so they can more easily find similar media they might like ("You liked X? You might also like Y."). They aren't blueprints for designers to create the media. No new genres could ever be created if games are created from genres instead of vice-versa, and even more games would be identical clones of each other with just different artwork, if designers treated genres as blueprints instead of categories.
The earlier stages of designing a game are difficult, at least for me. I have loads of ideas, but then getting those ideas filtered down, discarding the ideas that don't fit, and figuring out what gaps exist in the design that need to be filled can be difficult.
You shouldn't limit yourself to "what is an RPG", especially since RPGs are all over the map with a huge amount of variation.
Take for example "turn based" vs "real time" - it's not one or the other, it's a spectrum with many games in between:
Or take something as simple as leveling up. There are probably a dozen different ways to handle it. Experience is a common one, but some games have multiple forms of experience. Fable for example, has four types - three categorical experiences and one general experience, and you spend the experience like currency on leveling up individual skills. Paper Mario has it that every time you level up, you choose one of three upgrades (health, mana, or equipment slots). Quest 64 lets you level up normally, and each level up gives you a skill point but you can also find instant skill points hidden across the world - and Quest 64 stat points improve only through usage of that stat (i.e. you get more health the more you get beaten up). King's Field skills can only be found by finding hidden skill points in the world.
It's great to look at other games for ideas, but less beneficial to look at other games as the "mould" your game needs to fit into.