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Smartphones/facebook - gone too far?

Started by December 29, 2014 11:47 AM
52 comments, last by Brain 9 years, 10 months ago

Noticed how a lot of people somehow lost whatever little manners they have left? They don't think it's strange or rude to just sit there with their faces buried in their smartphones even in supposedly social situations. They don't even have qualms about suddenly stopping talking even mid-sentence to stare at the phone.

A while ago I was at a restaurant with a group of friends. It didn't take long before one of the girls whipped out the phone and was completely absorbed by it. I guess it was Facebook as usual. One by one at the table followed suit. I was getting mildly annoyed and looked around in the restaurant, which was slightly more than half-full. I swear, every single person in the room was actually sitting there staring at a smartphone. I guess that somewhere along the line it became more important to let the world know you are at a restaurant than actually being there.

Anyways, I find this behavior rude and annoying.

Food for discussion:

  • Have you noticed this too? Does it annoy you?
  • How can this be happening? Is it because the communists are trying to poison our bodily fluids or something?
  • Are you doing it yourself? Why?
  • Is there anything that can be done? Maybe I should just give up, pretend no one taught me manners, and just start doing it myself too?

Discuss.


Have you noticed this too? Does it annoy you?

I have noticed this as well -- particularly amongst younger people -- but it's pretty minimal amongst my own close social circle. It isn't overly annoying for me given how rarely it happens with my own friends, but I can imagine it could be quite bad if it was a regular occurrence.


How can this be happening?

People are often quite self-absorbed, and social media has presented them with a platform to express that. In cases where I've seen this happen it seems that people often genuinely don't realise they're doing it or how much of a problem it can be. The fact that the technology for it is so good now probably also helps -- you can take a high-quality photo and have it publicly available online at a moment's notice from almost anywhere.


Are you doing it yourself? Why?

No. If I do need to use my phone in a social situation I keep it to a minimum and ensure I spend the majority of time actually interacting. Where possible I wait till later rather than using my phone at the time.


Is there anything that can be done?

Have you mentioned the problem to your friends? They may simply be unaware of what they're doing and might make more of an effort if it's brought to their attention.

If that doesn't work you might need a different, more conscientious social circle.

Barring that, I've heard of people making it a rule when out for dinner that all of the mobile phones go face-down in the middle of the table, and the first to pick one up has to pay for everyone's meals; you could try suggesting a rule similar to that.

As for solving the "problem" on a larger scale than your own friendship group... is it really a major problem for you at all? It shouldn't matter that the majority are less attentive if your own social circle aren't a part of the problem.

- Jason Astle-Adams

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I checked the date. No, this thread has not been resurrected from 5 years ago.

And I suppose that is saddest of all.

Stephen M. Webb
Professional Free Software Developer

Each new year, the Language Council of Sweden publish a list of "new words" that came into use during the year.

This year, one of them is "mobilzombie", translating to "smartphone zombie"...

I'm guilty of having checked my phone at the dinner table too, though at least I am aware it's rude, and I try to keep it brief and under the table.

Ignorant rude people find new ways to be ignorant and rude. In other news, the sky is blue...

if you think programming is like sex, you probably haven't done much of either.-------------- - capn_midnight

Yes, I have noticed this for the past 3 years. I guess I have to thank my gf that I didn't end up following the trend. She would get angry if I ignore her at a restaurant. I don't check facebook, but I do check emails, and browse the web, or play games.

It didn't feel like talking to a person, just a statue.

People also love to take pictures of their food. Don't understand why.

The social network has altered the very essence of the way we interact with people, and the way we see the world. What is our source of information now?

"10 places you need to visit before you die?"

"30 things cute dogs do. Number 10 is especially cute?"

For a moment just a couple of days ago, I had a flash of just how life was like before this whole social networking, reddit, twitter, exploded. It was different, and it wasn't too long ago either, just the year of 2008. I had a J2ME clamshell phone that time, take pictures in 640x480, 250 texts/month.

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<sarcasm>This is such a new a-scocial "problem" ... * sigh *

kubrick-subway-newspapers.jpg

</sarcasm>

I cannot remember the books I've read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


This is such a new a-scocial "problem" ... * sigh *

Wow, that diner sure is crowded. Not even room for tables.

Unless of course it is a subway car, in which case it's not depicting a social problem at all. Consider what would happen in that picture if even one of the commuters started looking the others in the eye and talking to them intensely.

Stephen M. Webb
Professional Free Software Developer

I do feel sad and annoyed when everyone is out as a group and then all they do is use their phones. Actually my family take it to the next level, they sometimes chat in facebook/whatsup while sitting on the same table!

I thought I didn't have the same habit because I notice it everywhere as a negative thing until I dated a woman who was absolutely against checking phones during dates/outings even if you're waiting for an important email (no exceptions). I noticed I'm not totally innocent after all and later on it actually caused a few arguments between us. Ironically she had the habit of taking way too many photos of everything when we are out and later on even during dates which kinda rubbed me wrong the same way.

This could have been the reason why we broke up I kid you not!

Is there anything that can be done?

When I see people I care about completely absorbed in their phones and oblivious to what's going on around them I feel sorry for them. I am also angry at social networks. they perfected a vicious cycle of social addiction that mainstream users are very vulnerable to and they don't seem to care about the negative effects of their services. There should be something like the warning a few good console games give you when you play continuously for a long time: "You've been using facebook for 4 hours. Please consider taking a 1 hour rest to try to remember how to be human again."

I've done it to intentionally be rude at gatherings I didn't want to be at. I turn the ringer and vibrate off when I'm with people I actually like. I can ignore checking to see if a message exists, but if a message exists it's extremely hard for me to ignore it.

[Formerly "capn_midnight". See some of my projects. Find me on twitter tumblr G+ Github.]

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