That's kind of like putting the cart before the horse; it's not the features of OpenGL that moves hardware forward, it's the hardware that moves OpenGL forward. For this to be possible, those who are interested in the new features need to be able to try them out. That there is an established extension mechanism instead of everyone doing it in an ad-hoc way is good.
That's the ideal world scenario.
The real world scenario - and we just need to look back at OpenGL history with buffer objects and low-level shading - is that vendor extensions just mean that each vendor ends up implementing it's own extension that's not necessarily compatible with, or even remotely similar to, other vendors'. I.e. in practical terms it's effectively identical to "everyone doing it in an ad-hoc way".
I think the point is that allowing vendor specific extensions allows for vendors to go "out in a tangent" too much, which could hamper standardization of such extensions in the future.
Yes, this, but also the fact that these tangents are not necessarily even the same. Vendor A may go off on tangent X, meanwhile vendor B goes off on tangent Y, and when time comes to pull X and Y back into a standardized ARB extension it just hampers the whole standardization process and we get two+ years of a committee doing what committees do best.
In practical terms, vendor extensions are really good for one target audience only: those who want to write techdemos that target one hardware generation from one vendor only. In a shipping application that is going to be used by real end-users with a variety of different hardware, you almost certainly want a single standardized code-path to take, and you almost certainly prefer that vendors invest time and effort in making that code-path as robust and efficient as possible.
The recent OpenGL evolution of a new minor version each year with a major version bump reflecting (roughly) a new generation of hardware is a good move in the right direction but I don't think the minor version bump is happening often enough. Every 6 months would be more like it, especially given the pace at which hardware evolves these days.