1. I'm unable to enjoy most of the games now that I have the ability to analyze games and their designs. Always remind me of my flaws.
2. I no longer have the motivation to play games.
3. I can only share my excitement of a new upcoming game with others. Basically, I am just for the hype.
4. I don't know what to discuss about a game I know. End of discussions.
5. I keep having dilemmas on whether to play this game or not. Oh? A side-scroller? To play or not to play...
6. I'm now a dull boy. It's always work, work, work, work, work, etc.
7. These flaws are socially fatal. Dayum........

Those are mostly flaws of being employed in general.

Hype is generated essentially by the "Bored at work crew" that lurks forums/speculates.

While I'm a hobby game dev (Professional business development job though), ever since I started software development I've stopped looking at companies entirely. Instead, I only look at the game credits to determine if a game will be good. I'll say "Frank klepacki's making music for this game? It should have great music". I carry that through all the way down to non-lead developers and generally look up every credited developer on giantbomb/wikipedia/imdb, and check out what every "great" developer is doing now a days (Cavedog staff/bullrog etc), although most seem to have retired/gone into business development.

If you want to see something neat, pull up the credits for the black isle/bullfrog staff and google what they're doing. They've basically all made it in the industry if they've stuck in it.

So you do play the side scrollers?,

it is because side scrollers are fair games, everyone can play those.

You wont have to play for a year before you can realy play, that is the fun part.

Nowadays games require to much time, stick with the side scrollers ( and develop new side scrollers! ).

greetings

You must just be doing it wrong.

1. Why does knowing how they make their games remind you of your flaws instead of teach you how to do better? I am also an actor and when I watch a stellar performance I don’t say, “Damn it Joaquin Phoenix you make my acting look suck,” I say, “Wow, I could really improve my own acting if I study what he is doing to make his acting so brilliant.”
2. Then do whatever else. I became more of an off-and-on gamer. It isn’t a crime to have less interest in gaming.
3. I don’t know what that means.
4. I don’t see a problem. I never talk about any games. I only ever did when playing together with friends.
5. Cutting back on the games you play is a sign of being an adult, not working in the game industry. I stopped playing RPG’s because I simply don’t have that much time to invest anymore. Pick games that are reasonable/suitable for your lifestyle. For general adults that means games you can pick up, put down at any moment, and come back whenever (IE games with no real story, just jump in, shoot crap, and jump out). I also choose based on what is good to play on the train to work. It’s all just about picking whatever suits your lifestyle.
6. Then stop working all the time. If your company has a problem with you leaving at exactly clock-out time (as my first employer in Japan did) then tell them to FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER off and find a new job.
7. The flaws don’t need to exist in the first place.

I highly doubt it is actually just because you make games that you are getting like this.

More like, you make games in an area where you don’t want to be in a city you may not find ideal and in a company that demands too much.

I suggest thinking deeper and finding the true reason(s).

L. Spiro

3. Means that if a community is excited for something, and you're also excited about it, you're hyping about it. If you're just excited about something, and then when the products out, and you're no longer excited about it, it means you're just riding along the hype train, and not for the destination.

6. In Japan, most companies will have you stay there and work even when it's over the clock-out time. That is in due to peer pressure and their own self-dignity created by their nation since the end of the WWII. If you are to continue to work there in Japan, you must embrace the fact that they have done so for at least 40 years, and have changed leadership many times over.

I highly doubt it is actually just because you make games that you are getting like this.

More like, you make games in an area where you don’t want to be in a city you may not find ideal and in a company that demands too much.

Really? I'm actually astonished about it. I am currently living in two places, a rural area next to the Academia Sinica, and miltary boot camp. The rural area perhaps isn't my ideal place to live, as they are mostly community-based and are not technology-savvy, but they are indeed very academic. On the other hand, I have to be forced to take time off and service in the military boot camp, but at least that place is raining all through the month. When it rains, I have time to use my assigned laptop and develop stuffs on it.

If you say so, I guess I should change my mindset.

I'm unable to enjoy most of the games now that I have the ability to analyze games and their designs. Always remind me of my flaws.

Why does it remind you of your flaws? We're all flawed, but why does analyzing a game remind you of your flaws?

I analyze games while playing them. After you get used to analyzing games, you start to enjoy it. And you learn how to not always have it "on".

I no longer have the motivation to play games.

Is that a problem? That's like saying, "I no longer feel the motivation to waste my time in mindless entertainment." - That's a good thing.

Since I became a game developer, instead of always playing games, I hardly ever play games... until I get in the mood to. And when I get into the mood to, then I binge-play a game until I beat it or get bored, and then if still in the mood I start another. Then I go through periods of months and months with no urges to play.

Oddly, I get the feeling of "responsibility" to play certain games (even in genres I'm not fond of), because I know that it's a good game and "should" be played. Still, until in the mood, I just put those feelings on the back burner.

I find myself almost always willing to play cooperative games - possibly for social interaction, or possibly because cooperative games just feel so different (and less like 'work') that single-player games that you feel obligated to "get through".

I can only share my excitement of a new upcoming game with others. Basically, I am just for the hype.

Yea, I kinda get that too. Except I'm not in it for the marketing hype, I'm in it because the design or development process appeals to me. Doesn't mean I'll actually play through the game. It'll just be added to the list of games I "should" play.

I don't know what to discuss about a game I know. End of discussions.

My problem is communicating to others around me what I'm analyzing - since they aren't game designers, they come bringing their own skillsets (mostly artists) and have difficulty understanding me, because I sometimes lack the words to describe my gut feelings about games.

I often get into situations where we are both arguing the same thing using different terminology and think we are arguing against each other. It feels really unsatisfying when that happens.

I keep having dilemmas on whether to play this game or not. Oh? A side-scroller? To play or not to play...

Add it to your "

I'm now a dull boy. It's always work, work, work, work, work, etc.

Entertainment is a rather new concept in civilization. It's an artificial substitute for joy. The wealthy indulge in entertainment when they no longer have joy. You can take great joy and pleasure in your work. You won't die without entertainment, and you don't even have to be miserable without entertainment.

Now, work isn't 100% enjoyable all the time. It can be annoying or frustrating. But learn how to take joy in the parts of the work that you can take joy in.

These flaws are socially fatal.

Only to the extent that you allow them to be. And only depending on who you socialize with.
I'm not the best socializer. In a family of great amazing socializers, I'm horrible at it. Small talk? I stumble over it when trying to do it myself or try to dismiss it as worthless when someone else is doing it.

However, there is a good trick that helps me alot in things other than small talk: I look into the eyes of the person talking to me, informing their subconscious that I'm paying attention and valuing what they say. Then I listen to what they are saying, and respond in short phrases and sentences to their dialog, and I let them talk. I keep it focused on *their* interests, *their* excitement, and I try *not* to redirect the conversation back to my interests (a natural, but not good, behavior that I instinctively engage in). If the conversation is about them, or a story they are telling, or something that excites them, I keep it on them, and I ask them short questions to let them know that I'm listening, and that I care about and value what they say and who they are. Not because I care about the subject, but because I care about the person and that person cares about the subject.

Ofcourse, other times, I initiate the conversation and keep it focused on me (because I need it also), and I expect their attention and focus to let me know I am valued by them. Since this behavior isn't something I voice allowed, often times they (naturally, but incorrectly) redirect the subject to what interests them or to focus on them. This is expected. I redirect it back to me and my subject again quickly at the first opportunity. Since I intentionally spend more time listening to them than I make them listen to me, I don't think it subconsciously bothers them when I redirect back to me, but I try to be observant and gauge their reaction while doing so.

Othertimes I get into real discussions and (friendly but heated) debates with people I know well - with debates, there is a natural rhythm to them where people take turns talking. I have problems with that, and then to talk and talk for extended periods of time and reiterate my points over and over, to "win" the argument just by exhausting them and not letting them get in any comments. It's a social flaw I have. So I try (sometimes it's hard to remember and catch myself when I monologue and steamroll over the discussion) to make doubly sure I give others an opportunity to talk. If they are the one monologuing, then when I start to comment, I say my full sentence aloud even if they don't stop talking, and a few words into both of us speaking over each other, they stop and listen. But the important thing is to make sure you're not monologuing, and you let them speak their whole thought without interrupting. Again it's a matter of letting them know subconsciously that they have a voice and their opinions are valued even if not agreed with, because they as an individual is valued.

Why does it remind you of your flaws? We're all flawed, but why does analyzing a game remind you of your flaws?

I analyze games while playing them. After you get used to analyzing games, you start to enjoy it. And you learn how to not always have it "on".

A game always have a starting point. That starting point indicates what designs the developers took to make. After analyzing the game, the last thing I will do all the time is to think back and look at the game from a vantage point, and come up with reasons to why the develop took this road down the line from the starting point. For example, a 3D game. I keep thinking up many reasons why I didn't follow their steps in playing with DirectX or OpenGL. Why didn't I choose the 3D? I hate myself for not taking time to learn more of it. I hate it. Then everything sets in place: I get pessimistic, I start procrastinating, I start getting put off, I start posting threads in forums, and then I shut myself down.

Ugh! There it goes again.

Since I became a game developer, instead of always playing games, I hardly ever play games... until I get in the mood to. And when I get into the mood to, then I binge-play a game until I beat it or get bored, and then if still in the mood I start another. Then I go through periods of months and months with no urges to play.

Maybe I should learn how to do that. Getting into the mood to do something fun is now on my to-do bucket list for things I need to learn.

Add it to your "

Um, what? I can't just add it into my quotes...

Now, work isn't 100% enjoyable all the time. It can be annoying or frustrating. But learn how to take joy in the parts of the work that you can take joy in.

If you believed that "The people in my group are those who always play mobile games or watch drama/episodes/movies on their smartphones" is a rather dull group of people, it can be sensible to say that hanging out with them isn't enjoyable. To me, it feels like wasting time to interact with them, when all they ever do was play mobile games or watch something.

If you ask why I don't just hang out with other people and not them, I will tell you that "this" group of people is none other than military soldiers like me servicing the country. I hate the work, 100% of the time, even when the work is actually enjoyable that I'm concentrating on it and not talking to others. I would prefer to speak of my mind with others on forums engaging in activities I'm interested in, than to speak to them.

But there are some topics that would come up that I'm interested in, and we engage in a friendly conversation. Those are rare moments I actually cherish. Those happy moments then evolves into me having a friendly sparring match in table tennis, and pitting me against my rivals. But after a few rounds, I'm back to work. Work, work, work.

On second thought, once I've completed my military service, I'm going to miss them moments. I'll be going through hoops after hoops on tackling real life, having to smite up and go work somewhere in a company I'm unfamiliar with, and get economically stable enough to revisit this post and think about the good times I had with everyone.

This train of thought is now getting deeper and deeper...

Only to the extent that you allow them to be. And only depending on who you socialize with.

I guess I could use a little push. Allowing what I used to disallow. I'll take heed in this sound advice.

Add it to your "

Um, what? I can't just add it into my quotes...

Whoops! I meant, add it to your list of games that you might consider playing when you are in the mood to binge-play some games.

Now, work isn't 100% enjoyable all the time. It can be annoying or frustrating. But learn how to take joy in the parts of the work that you can take joy in.

[...]I hate the work, 100% of the time, even when the work is actually enjoyable that I'm concentrating on it and not talking to others.

I meant the work of game development, not whatever job you might currently be stuck in. Didn't realize your "It's always work, work, work, work, work" wasn't referring to game development.

I would prefer to speak of my mind with others on forums engaging in activities I'm interested in, than to speak to them.

I definitely get that. I frequently have a deep longing to have intellectual conversations in my particular field of interest (world design and programming), but unfortunately, nobody around me is in the same field.

I have intellectual conversations on other subjects, which is fantastic and very helpful, but I still long for a real rapport with another skilled programmer in real life. Online communication via forums help, but only by partially alleviating the hunger.

That said, it's still important to have conversations with other people about their intellectual interests, or about overlapping topics of partial interest to the both of you. As I mentioned I'm mostly surrounded by artists and, not being an artist, I can't discuss art with them deeply (but I can listen attentively to their excitement of art because I value the individuals even if I don't care about the subject being discussed). Still, I can discuss areas of mutual, but lesser, interests. Doing so forces the two of us to hear the other's alien perspective, coming from a different skillset, and occasionally results in very cool insights into the subject matter that I would've never gotten just coming from my programmer background. Plus, the interaction is good for me. I don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of people 100% like me (my clones' idiosyncrasies would annoy me too much) or that 100% agree with me (because then I'd never discover when my ideas are actually flawed).

When people are very superficial, these kind of conversations are difficult to have - because they really own come about when you've known someone for long enough and have a real connection of friendship. Most of my passing 'acquaintances' I can only surface-chat with. But that's why it's also important to talk to them about their interests, because they then open up more, you learn more about them, they feel more connected to you, and over months of time you build up a better (better = deeper, more real) relationship. I only have a few of these "real" relationships and I work hard to try to keep the relationship cultivated. Wish I had more. And wish one or more were programmers.

Again, I'm not the best socializer.

In Japan, most companies will have you stay there and work even when it's over the clock-out time. … you must embrace the fact that they have done so for at least 40 years

You’ve just illustrated the difference between us perfectly.
You seem to put your own desires second (or lower). I don’t know you but most people I know who do that are drones; they just trudge through life being some part of a big machine, hating their lives and then dying.

I put my desires first, and there isn’t anything I must do.

There are 2 ways to be happy in life:

1. Stop doing what you don’t like doing.
2. Start doing what you like doing/want to do.

One does not necessarily cause the other, so you must do both individually.

I didn’t like living in a nowhere town where the nearest mall was 30-45 minutes away, so I left it.

I didn’t like teaching English in Thailand so I stopped.

I didn’t like working in the typical Japanese environment in which overtime is expected (and not paid), so I stopped.

I wanted to make video games, in Tokyo, under normal working conditions, with a good salary, so I do.

That is likely the whole issue.

Based on what you said, I am assuming if you were in that hell company in which I worked when I first came you would have just told yourself, “Well, it is the Japanese way so I must do it.”

Anyone who thinks like that is doomed to a life of misery.

Looking at any aspect of your life as, “Meh, that’s what I got so whatever,” is how you fail at happy.

And I am talking about everything, not just the job. Look at your location.

If you could pick anywhere in the world, is that really the absolute #1 choice you would have listed? Seriously? It sounds dull as hell.

The sum of all the little details is likely what is really causing you frustration.

I not only specifically knew the city where I wanted to live and the fact that I wanted to make video games, I also knew what kinds of games I wanted to make (Mario games, Final Fantasy games, Castlevania games, or some classic from my childhood), the primary 3 companies for which I wanted to work, etc.

The only time I have ever looked at any part of my life and said, “Meh,” I was actually saying, “Meh, I will deal with it for now, but in the meantime I am working to make it into this.”

Know what you want out of life and get it.

L. Spiro

And then Servant of the Lord's post about communication and your post illustrates the difference between me, Servant of the Lord, and you: The realization of living in real life.

Good to have Servant of the Lord and you interacting with me. :D I think I've gotten a wonderful present for this Christmas.