OK, I can see the point of view. Still, they shouldn't make it so difficult to find the options. I think most of my issues are due to the fact that I cannot afford anything more than the Express version. If I had an extra $500, I'd buy the Professional version in a heartbeat! They really gimp the Express version.
Everything is available from tools -> options. If you're interested in the full versions, have you looked into DreamSpark or BizSpark? It doesn't take all that much to qualify for BizSpark and it will get you the Ultimate edition.
Not everything is available in the Express edition, and I'm not just talking about interface issues. The Express version is severally restricted. Speaking of the interface issue, there are only two themes in the Express edition, light and dark. Both were causing me a great amount of eye strain. All of the other versions have a theme editor, but that is lacking in the Express version. Even the registry entries where the theme information would be stored is missing. Just to change the theme required an amazing amount of digging on Google.
I do this as a hobby. I seriously doubt that I would qualify for either of those two programs. I would have to stretch the truth to the point of breaking it and that just isn't me.