Greetings! I've finally found another developer and an artist that can work with me on my game so I've put together the concept and want to get some feedback on it before I start working on my game design document so we all know what we need to do. The first paragraph is the high point but the rest has some really good details you might be interested in. Take a look and let me know what you think. Thanks for your time. High Concept: Snail empire is, to put it simply, an adventure game with RPG elements that never forgets that it is meant to be humorous. It is the adventure of a boy from rookie snail racer up to the head of a multimillionaire conglomerate snail empire. There will be nefarious back alley dealing such as salting the track, taking illegal loans to build the extra training wing for your snails, and an over-arching love interest to provide additional conflict for the main character. Players can level up their snails strength, agility, and the like through the use of personal trainers. They gain addition to additional tracks through the accumulation of fame and wealth. They can add on to their buildings to provide a more comfortable environment for their snails and their trainers along with such things as adding on to their family if they choose. All of this will be kicked off by the death of their father and the revelation of the secret that he is a head figure in underground snail racing and his dream is for his son to legitimize the sport. Game Concept Snail Empire is a top down adventure / RPG for the PC and Xbox that uses the XNA framework to put players in the position of a young man whose life goal is take snail racing from a back-door, illegal business to a multibillion dollar business all while balancing his personal life with the unrealistic and silly demands of being a snail racer. In the beginning you will create a character which consist of picking character stats such as charisma, agility, and a few others that will directly affect game play. You will also be able to give your character a name, sex, and an age. Name and sex will have no visible impact on game other than romance development options. Age will affect how long the game can run so try to go towards a younger period to have more time but the older you are the easier time you will have to accomplish your goals due to bonuses given to certain stats and a more favorable political climate. You will start the game out on your father's death bed where he reveals that he is an influential leader in underground snail racing. He's kept it from the family for all these years due to his shame in being involved. Of course you always suspected something because he was always sneaking out at night but you had assumed it was another woman and so did your mom, which is why she left years ago. Your father's dream has always been to legitimize the sport but the world wasn't ready, but, he had been taking steps every day to make it ready. He believes that you have what it takes so he leaves what he can of his snail empire to you. Unfortunately, he forgot to mention he was a degenerate gambler and you learn that his legacy consists of a single snail, a few bucks, and the location of a gentleman that can get you in the world. At this point it is up to you how to proceed. You are introduced to your love interest and if you so decided you could continue your management job at a local grocery store. Granted, this might not make for a very fun experience. At least in the beginning, you will probably want to keep this job which will consist of making customers happy through mini games and collecting a daily stipend based upon your performance. Real town members following semi-realistic schedules which involves them spending money in the shop based off of their needs and then you can take a percentage of their hard earned money and grow your snail empire. Originally, this will consist of paying for one off training sessions from coaches in order to make your snail more competent, taking out illicit loans to add on wings to your home for customized training tracks, bribing local politicians to look the other way, and the like. When you finally getting around to getting in touch with the contact your father gave you, he will take you to the first snail racing track. As is to be expected it is dark, dang, and pretty pathetic looking. The races take place much as horse races do with a few exceptions. You can spring salt traps and several other cute gimmicks on the opposing players but of course you run the risk of getting caught. Every snail is unique, some are lazy, some are divas, some are hard core athletes. Each one is different from the last one due to the random generation and how they interact with their trainers. The snails will control themselves in the actual race but you will be able to encourage how they run races by using a carrot and stick selection system during practice. As the story progresses you will be given several options that will shape the world. As you win more races you will be given the option to grease certain political palms in order to bring this world to the light. As you gain political clout you'll be able to erect new circuits from areas in underground set ups all the way to downtown with stands. Corporate sponsors will eventually need to work together to build some of the most outstanding structures. You will be able to use your money to donate to the pro-snail campaign, bribe individuals, recruit new snails, buy new equipment, buy add ons to your house, underground training chambers, build gyms, place illicit side bets, build practice courses, and the like. The end goal of the game will resolve with you founding the SnailLympics, running a billion dollar company with an entire stable of snails and marriage to your girlfriend/boyfriend or an alternative love interest. Key Features 1.Complex and dynamic AI controlling the competition on both an individual and company level. 2.Tongue in cheek writing. 3.Open-ended world that can lead to actual failure or success in the game instead of the normal level of mediocrity these games tend to let happen. 4.Flexible dialogue system with people able to have opinions of the player and other characters. 5.Political system that adjusts based on both the player and computers actions. 6.Unique stats and dynamic personalities of snails. Genre Adventure with RPG elements. Platforms PC and Xbox 360. Experimental Features 1.Dynamic character to character AI. (2-4 months to develop this system but it should lead to a unique play through every time. Major Development Tasks Relationship system that allows players to change their opinions on an individual and company level. Every action that players and companies take will influence others that are even remotely affected. On a company level their actions would affect all companies along with the politicians by default for the most part. Every company and politician would belong to certain parties to allow for easy classification. Development should take 2-4 months. Dynamic world that is adjusted based on the players input should take about a month, maybe two since it is only on a structure basis. Risks The only major risk is lack of experience. Development time is estimated at a beta playable game in four months, introduce relationship system at eight months, dynamic world at a year. Beta testing to polish story line and game should take another three months and final release should take place after 18 months. All estimates include minimal regular commitment from developers.

To be honest.... I have a problem with the premise, and I suspect that I won't be the only one. I understand that it is meant to be humorous, but it is hard to suspend disbelief for "snail racing". If it were focused entirely on the business side of it and didn't involve any actual elements of racing snails, it might be a different story, but you mention setting up tracks and "downtowns with stands", etc. The idea that people would accumulate in stands to watch snails crawl at a pace that is unnoticeable from any distance is a little bit of a stretch.

But, it might just be me. :-)

I appreciate the honest feedback. In game I don't plan on making them move a millimeter on screen.They'd move around the track at a normal pace, hence why they have trainers. We can call them super snails if you wish. :) Either way, thanks for the time it took to give some feedback. I definitely see where you're coming from but I just see too many situations for laughter here. :)

The whole premise of competitive snail racing is what makes this game so funny.

I would play it, I know that much.

Thanks Eric for the feedback. If you can think of any tweaks to the formula let me know otherwise I'll be writing a game design document in a few days off of what I've posted and in about a year and a half you'll be able to play the complete game. Who knows? I may come post a beta here. :)

I like the concept and the way you presented it. A few things come to mind that may strengthen your documents:

-It looks like you're trying to take the gameplay in several directions: adventure, RPG, and strategy, with relationships presumably in between. Perhaps you could describe the mechanics of these. You might also consider focusing on a single core mechanic initially that is fun by itself. Be careful not to overextend your design.

-In your Key Features, I see the adjectives complex, dynamic, open-ended, flexible, unique used. It might help if you could replace these words with descriptions that tell readers how the game is that way. And be careful, because these particular adjectives have a tendency to encourage or indicate overambitious designs.

-A detailed walkthrough of part of the game would help understand what the player is actually doing.

-Assume that you won't have time for the AI or that it won't work well enough in practice. Make sure you have the cheap and dirty AI ready to go first. Same for world dynamics and anything else that has any bit of complexity.

-Since you mention lack of experience, I'd recommend drastically scaling the design back. Open-ended projects have a way of taking far longer than one can ever imagine. Once you have a design document with specifics, consider cutting as many features as possible adding prototyping time to your timetable.

-Keep the good ideas (with specifics) coming!

1. "you will be able to encourage how they run races by using a carrot and stick selection system during practice."
One would expect a straight course?
2. Any backstabbing? Can you fix races?
3. Multiplayer?