I am a new poster to the site, and I wanted to get some input about an idea that I had long ago and that I have finally started to write. It is quite grandiose (maybe even impractical), but I want to see what you esteemed writers think of my humble idea, so feel free to criticize and tell me ways to make it better. I will just give you the bare, simple facts. My game is called Ultimate Flight, and it takes in the elements of an RPG, shooter and hack and slash, but at the prerogative of the gamer later on. It starts out nowadays in Arizona, where a 15 year old boy named Ayshon struggles through dreams of wars where he has to step in and save countless people. He awakens from his fitful slumber and rushes off to school. On the way, he is nearly killed by a bypassing vehicle, which stops right in front of him. The driver is upset, but understands, and lets Ayshon hitch a ride with him to school with a girl in car, named Brianna, an attractive brunette who also has been having the dreams. She asks Ayshon about them, and he is dumbfounded. She then tells him that she will find the others, and together they will discover their true destiny. When they arrive at school, Ayshon immediately finds his friend, Rhett, a blond haired kid with quite a reputation with the ladies. He sits there with his girlfriend, Monica, a minor character known as a bit of a whore. We then meet Taryn, another pretty girl who Ayshon immediately develops a crush on. Brianna, feeling "an aura" about her, immediately follows Taryn as she walks away. Ayshon talks to Rhett and though he tries to push it off, he also says that he had an odd dream the previous night. Then the bell rings and Ayshon goes off to class. As the schoolday progresses, Brianna, claiming that some things are more necessary than school, follows Ayshon around from class to class. In his Art class, we are introduced to Jackie, a quiet shy girl with glasses and long brown hair. She is quite an artist, but not much of a talker. Later, we meet Kale, a loner who puts up a tough guy facade but in reality, has many secrets (boy is he a FUN character to write about.) Both are identified by Brianna. Later, in science, Ayshon falls asleep and has another dream, this time of him fighting demons. When he awakens, Brianna tells him that they will meet at Monica's party that night (which he, Rhett and Taryn are invited to; Brianna, Jackie and Kale are crashing) and that there it will be apparent what their destinies are. After a brief fight getting them all into the party, Taryn steps in and they dscend to the backyard. All of a sudden, Brianna sees a shooting star crash to earth, and the troupe goes to see what it is, led by Brianna. A young, handsome man steps out (Lior is his name) of the light and tells them the epic story of the Abelites and the Cannanites, and how Earth was created. He says that in a parallel world up in the sky is the Kingdom of Abel, and that long ago, the Cannanites, another species of human, rebelled. They were sent to the depths of their world, blocked from escaping by what humans know as the Ozone, but what is called The Barrier in the game. Some Cannanites escaped, fell to the Earth, and formed humankind, with no memory of their past lives. The Abelites fixed that crack, and since then, the Cannanites have not been able to get up to the Abelite world or down to Earth. But now, supposedly, a savior of their own has come, and the Abelites need the group of six to stop him. He says that he can give them the weapons to beat them, a blinding light goes over all of them, and they collapse. Ayshon wakes up the next morning completely normal, until he realizes that he has two large white wings on his back, like an angel! Brianna tells him to meet the others at an abandoned farmhouse so he can learn how to fly. He does so, and he chills with the others as they all teach each other to fly. Then, Rhett makes it clear that no one can know about these wings. Brianna agrees and tells them that when the time comes, they'll know. Cut to Abelites at base in their world. Lior comes back, brings tidings to two older cohorts of his, Saul and Gaver. They tell Lior that the Cannanites are preparing an attack, and he has reason to believe that there is a new purpose behind it. Lior nods gravely, as if by understanding. Soon, they summarize, a demon may break through to the human world to attack the troupe of six. Now, back to the regular world where the weekend is over, back to school! Ayshon is seen trying to fit his wings into a baggy sweatshirt, and lamenting that he'll have to do that from now on (we'll see about that :).) Goes to school, sees the others, but then, Cannanite demons appear. Ayshon has to fight them all off, along with the others who take care of them on other parts of the school. They realize that now they need to flee, since people know of their wings. They fly away into the desert. Brianna has a premonition to go to the Oasis and something special will happen there. Rhett blames her for the current state of affairs, but Ayshon calms him down. Rhett decides to go and scout what lies ahead, and Jackie goes with him. The two encounter more demons, and when Rhett becomes injured, Jackie finds the motivation and the power to heal him. They eventually head back to the group after forming a strong friendship. They move onwards, fighting some more demons. Ayshon, Rhett, Brianna and Taryn fight while Jackie heals. Kale tries, but mainly stays back (he still hasn't spoken yet in the game -- we learn more about him later). Eventually, they face a boss male demon (name = ?) who tells them after being defeated that they will rue the day they gained their wings. They arrive at the oasis and get spirited upwards to the Abel base. We also get our first cut scene of the Cannanite leader, the game's intriguing villain, Chashuch. Now the game really starts to heat up with some mission trying to stop the Cannanites from foraging their way too far into Abelite territory. There are going to be around 5 or 6 of these missions (I won't go into specifics about gameplay though) Here are some ideas: Jungle mission Tundra mission Island mission Savannah mission Ocean mission Volcano mission Each one will have its own challenge with elements and such. However, each will also have guides that will help the players (based on other characters you may know and love!). Some meager specifics about the missions. Jungle: Samiel helps. A member of the native people, he has a humanoid body with long red dreadlocks (Guess who he's based from). Despite being thin, he is extremely strong. He helps you defeat a boss after fighting through thick jungle. At the end, he reveals to you that not all Abelites gained the priveledge of wings; there is a lot of diversity, and not everyone is happy (may delve into this more in later games)This mission is mainly platforming and hack and slash. All characters participate. Savannah: Ranock helps. He is a young hermit who lives alone, but happens to have triangular ears and a long tail with a humanoid body. He tries to find his friend Gasket, a large robot under Cannanite control. He is the first to give you guns (1 to start, a pistol, but you find four more throughout the mission). After defeating Gasket, the demon possessing him comes out and battles you as well. Kale is the only one that can fight him, with the guns you collect. After being defeated, the demon tells Kale that he will join the Cannanites soon. Tundra: Polanika and her family help. She is a young ice creature called a Zagaroba, and her clan is under attack by Cannanites using fireballs and flame. Taryn plays a big role in this mission, as she is given the power to fight using magic. She uses fire to beat the boss and rescue Polanika's brothers. Two are grateful, but one (Pereskita) escapes. He's important later. The others are all works in progress. Then, the game changes. Lior asks one of the children to go on an undercover mission to the Cannanite realm undercover and find out what the general mood is involving the plans and their leader. Kale volunteers, despite being warned by his friends not to. Kale is disguised as a demon and goes down to the Cannanite realm. After reconnaisance work, Kale is captured by Chashuch, who reveals his true plot. He is in fact fulfilling a prophecy of the Cannanites. They said that they would live in captivity under the harsh Abelites in "The Middle World" until one of them fell from there are came to them. He alone would be able to organize them, and with Kale's blood, is able to open the gateway to the human world. He cuts Kale slightly with a dagger and uses the blood to open a portal. Chashuch then tries to convince Kale to come with him, since he "likes" him. Lior, however, comes to the rescue. Chashuch reveals his wings, which, while once white, have been stained with darkness, and calls Lior "Brother." Lior eventaully rescues Kale as Chashuch escapes to the human world. The rest of the game is basically war in the world of the humans to drive the Cannanites back into the Middle World. There are many subplots, such as why Chashuch fell, who ends up romantically involved with who and so what, but the bottom line is that I haven't thought of that yet, but I think so far it sounds pretty exciting. Any input would be wonderful. Please give ideas if you don't like names, or if you have ideas for other missions. Thanks! [Edited by - hammerMan on January 16, 2008 4:55:57 PM]

I can tell this is a rough draft: you went from "Cade" to "Cale" to "Kale." (I like "Kale" the best, btw).

I like this storyline a lot, but it is full (like 100%) of cliches. I happen to like cliche RPGs, and this one has just about every one of them all at once! It seems like there is a lot of cinema; do you play any of the introduction part? How would the combat system work, party-wise?

All in all, I like it!

Quote: Original post by Funkymunky
I can tell this is a rough draft: you went from "Cade" to "Cale" to "Kale." (I like "Kale" the best, btw).

I like this storyline a lot, but it is full (like 100%) of cliches. I happen to like cliche RPGs, and this one has just about every one of them all at once! It seems like there is a lot of cinema; do you play any of the introduction part? How would the combat system work, party-wise?

All in all, I like it!

Thanks for the input. I changed all of them to Kale, and yes, this is a very rough idea.

Can you please tell me about some of the cliche's you found? I may just be a naive writer, but it helps me to know exactly what I'm dealing with.

The introduction part would basically be a walkthrough at school, you would learn how to run and jump, and there's even a small fight scene.

The combat system I didn't post because it's gameplay, and this is the writing thread, but before each mission the player would set up his team in a formation that would depend on the mission.

My real big revelation would be that, during the first half of the game, the player would be exposed to an RPG style, a shooter style and a hack and slash/platforming style through the different missions and powers of the characters. After the climax when Earth is attacked, the player will have to pick one of the six characters and that will be their character for most of the Earth battles. They would still see the other characters sporadically throughout the campaign, but the player would only be able to control their character and others that are in the party.

For example, if you pick Jackie, it will be more of a RPG, where you control a number of fighters and heal them when it is necessary. If you pick Ayshon, it will be like a hack and slash where you lead your men into battle. And if you pick Kale, it will be a shooter where you will pick off the enemy soldiers using firearms.

I added the little eye character that I assume means "Please read and give feedback," so please read and give feedback!

I'm working on flushing out more of my story right now, but if anyone has any opinions, please feel free to share.

I have more ideas!

The second half of the game will be battle-campaign style, with plenty of guns and fighting. For each mission, you will be assigned a character (rather than choosing) and they will lead troops into battle. Not sure about what exactly the missions would be yet. Any ideas?

And please keep reading and reviewing! I'll be happy to answer any questions.

Quote: Original post by hammerMan
I have more ideas!

The second half of the game will be battle-campaign style, with plenty of guns and fighting. For each mission, you will be assigned a character (rather than choosing) and they will lead troops into battle. Not sure about what exactly the missions would be yet. Any ideas?

And please keep reading and reviewing! I'll be happy to answer any questions.

In my opinion, the most interesting kind of mission would be the mixed kind.

You mention in another post that picking Kale would result in a shooter game, picking Ayshon would result in a hack 'n slash, and so on, so forth. Why not mix things up?

Mission: take over enemy territory and free Ayshon from prison.
So it could begin like a Kale shooting mission, with your army advancing. When you get to that prison, the action changes to a more conventional RPG, with Kale alone infiltrating it. You rescue Ayshon, he joins Kale, and both get out.

With Ayshon in the troops as well, you can fight enemies up close too. If you allow the player to divide the troops between the Ayshon and Kale, you let him/her create his/her own strategy, you know?

Nonetheless, I think you should start with simpler, solo missions, before the mixed ones, so that the player can really understand the specialities of each character. You could have "defend the fort" kind of missions (protect a certain place for a certain amount of time), "take over" kind of missions (advance and conquer), "explore" kind of missions (get to know the place), etc.

I understand where you're coming from. So I should simplify my first six missions? Do you think it would be a good idea to have multiple missions in each level, a la Mario Galaxy?

Quote: Original post by hammerMan
I understand where you're coming from. So I should simplify my first six missions? Do you think it would be a good idea to have multiple missions in each level, a la Mario Galaxy?

It's not to simplify the beginning, but to make the middle/end more complex, offering those mixed missions I suggested.

And as to multiple missions in a level, if the leves are big and varied enough, sure, why not? I don't know what the scope you have in mind is, but I'd suggest maybe 3 missions per level, and, after a certain point in the story (before the final boss, maybe?), offer harder, more challenging missions in some levels, where the players can get some nice rewards. That'll make it easier for people to digest 5+ missions per level, I think.