lol i've read silmarillion, lord of the rings, and other lotr books like 2-3 times all of em. I know what you mean though. I know the exile idea

Person/Group does something bad/or refuses to follow the way the king is ruling, so he is called an exile. Like in Silmarillion, the Noldor, Elendil and his father don't follow the king(forgot his name now lol, Ar-(Something) im guessing, its been awhile.)

I think ill create a new story that will tell on how Tarnin was exiled. thanks guys for all your help.

EDIT: WHAT!? look im sorry if my story sounds blunt but i don't have an engine yet to put it into action. (Getting one very soon) Honestly putting it into action makes it easier because words are just words, but seeing it happen, you can do a lot with it.

[Edited by - EvilMinion85 on September 13, 2005 9:01:44 PM]

Whether your story sounds blunt isn't related to having an engine. The script and synopsis for a game are supposed to be like the script and synopsis for a movie, capable of selling themselves by making a readure visualize the drama, emotion, immersion, versimilitude, etc. which the finished product will have.

I read the original post (thank you for the paragraphs) And I agree with Boku San's assessment - there are lots of cliches, and these make the writing boring.

I would also like to add that even in a fantasy you have to consider logical cause and effect. If the sun did not shine on the earth for weeks, all the plants (including crops) would die. (Although there would be lots of mushrooms for a while). When the animals had eaten all the dead plants, they would begin to die of starvation. When the humans had eaten all the mushrooms and animals, they would begin to die of starvation too. Plus in the meantime it would be getting very cold which, you're right, would cause storms. In between the dark and the cold, people would quickly use up their supplies of candles, lamp oil, and eventually would begin canabalizing buildings for firewood.

With this chain of events the human civilization's economy would collapse during the first year, adding rioting, enemployment -> a big population of homeless beggars and theives trying not to starve and freeze, gangs killing others for their food and eventually resorting to canabalism, etc. (A few smart groups might survive better by ranching mushrooms.) People wouldn't become frightened and never go outside, people would get used to the dark, become hungry, and go outside to try to find/steal food.

Also, is there any boundary to the darkness spell? If so, lots of humans and animals would flee to where it was still sunny, leaving the dark area deserted.

Either way, all the dragons have to do is wait a few years after they cast their spell and there wouldn't be any army left to oppose them (although there would also not be much in the way of spoils left to steal). So the question is, why did the dragons cast this spell? Were they trying to kill off all the humans? If so, they should just wait and let the spell work until the humans' ability to fight back has been destroyed.
It would be pretty stupid of the dragons to attack while the humans are stil capable of fighting back. Although, how are they fighting back? How do archers see to shoot the dragons? If there are mages, wouldn't they be a more logical choice to fight the dragons, perhaps with ice spells?

On the other hand, if the dragons' goal is to get loot, why a spell of darkness? If it's pitch-black, how do they see to fly or to find loot they want to steal? Wouldn't they release the spell of darkness so they could see to invade?

I personally feel the Great Darkness was underplayed in the presentation.

some ideas:

I was thinking of phantasmic dragons that actually make up the Darkness. The dragons are like vampires in that they feed on living things. They are like black mist with red glowing eyes that softly hiss. They can not be killed, only driven away temporarily by strong magic.

Tarnin is an exile because he is seen as a cursed man. He is blind yet he can "see" things somehow (perhaps a third eye?). He is the only one who can see the true nature of the Darkness. He sees the the only weak part of the mist dragons - a small black ball that is the heart of the dragon. It moves around inside the mist shape of the dragon making it extremely hard to destroy. Destroying the heart with a weapon turns the dragon into a tangible being that can be killed with weapons and magic.

To Tarnin ,however the dragon heart shows clearly against his eldritch sight. His band of outcasts are people who possess extraordinary powers seen as evil by the other people.

oh ok. Ill say like they were outcasts for they knew dark magic and were shunned by the people. The outcasts were people who followed him and learned dark magic.
tarnin could have a third eye that allows him to see through the darkness, and to make it better he can be blind(all those ideas really help, thanks yappo)
And ill develop on the darkness and how the Cronus was like.
The darkness wasn't like you can't see, but like dark clouds and no sunlight. That is what i intended.

Ill develop on that if everyone else thinks that would help?
Thanks for your help. Ill post revised version soon, as well as some other stories i have, so you guys can criticize it, and help me make it better. lol

[Edited by - EvilMinion85 on September 14, 2005 7:57:24 PM]