which of these should i start with? i have anim8or and i might have a trial version of milkshape lurking in CD somewhere... ALSO: i need a good tutorial on whichever is recommended the ones on the anim8or web page just show you how to make 3d models; it doesn't talk about the commands or buttons or anything... help me

Anim8or == Satan

It's not used in the game development industry, it's no longer supported, and it's lacking so many features and exports that it's not even feasible to use.

Milkshape is alright, and it's definately a few notches up from Anim8or.

I recommend Blender. I love Blender and 3dsMax, but Blender is right up there with their new release of 2.37.

For tutorials... Try here ^^ or their official website here.