any good examples on how to do this? i have a basic idea of thread pooling with multithreaded servers in c++ just not sure how to execute it

Typically one would use thread pools for short lived worker threads. The general idea is that since the threads will be created and destroyed fairly frequently, if you pool them then you can eliminate the overhead required to create a thread.

Not sure how you would apply this to a multithreaded server, where the threads are most likely going to be long lived, and hence pooling won't gain you anything.

most people say pooling say 1-how ever many people per thread would reduce lag and server intensity

Ahh, different kind of pooling there...thread pooling is where you have a pool of threads from which you allocate workers.

And yes, pooling multiple connections per thread would be a good idea (perhaps 64, since that's the max allowed by select(), if use that, in windows).