I made this one up last week, works in English and Portuguese:
- Look at that bitch!
- Ya, she's ugly as a dog!
(horrible joke, i know i know)
Bad Jokes
100
May 17, 2010 11:32 AM
What's simaler between a whore and a computer?
If either of them get a virus, they're fucked :P
------------EDIT----------------
Holy shit I didn't realise what an epic bump that was >_<
If either of them get a virus, they're fucked :P
------------EDIT----------------
Holy shit I didn't realise what an epic bump that was >_<
980
May 17, 2010 12:24 PM
STLport | Lua | Squirrel | Doxygen | NASM | bochs | osdev | Ruby | FreeBSD | Zend Framework 2 | YUI 3 | VP UML| ZFS | Linux Mint (Cinnamon)
376
May 17, 2010 05:33 PM
Quote: Original post by KonfusiusQuote: Original post by soitsthateasy
simaler
LOL
Best joke till now LOL
[size="2"]I like the Walrus best.
228
January 10, 2011 11:32 AM
Quote:Original post by skittleoI don't get it. [embarrass]
How do you fit an elephant onto a subway....?
... You take the 's' out of sub and the 'f' out of way.
There is no f in way -> There is no f**in(g) way!
--ahah just realized this was answered eons ago, my bad
104
February 01, 2011 03:08 PM
Man, some of these jokes hurt to read!
I heard this a while ago, and I hope no one takes offense.
"Liking Java because it's cross-platform is like liking anal sex because it's cross-gender."
I heard this a while ago, and I hope no one takes offense.
"Liking Java because it's cross-platform is like liking anal sex because it's cross-gender."
Keith M. Programming - My Game Dev Blog.
Tutorials. Games. Code Snippets. Bad Jokes. I got 'em all.
Follow me on Twitter. [twitter]KeithMaggio[/twitter]
Listen to me yap about programming and games and junk.
Tutorials. Games. Code Snippets. Bad Jokes. I got 'em all.
Follow me on Twitter. [twitter]KeithMaggio[/twitter]
Listen to me yap about programming and games and junk.
1,261
May 13, 2011 08:46 AM
How do you stop a Mac user from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
Take your foot off his head.
1,101
May 17, 2011 08:15 PM
A man wakes up one day and has a horrible headache.
Days pass and the headache gets worse and worse. He tries aspirin, herbal teas, relaxing massages. Nothing works.
The man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells him to drink more water and exercise every day. The man tries it for two weeks and still has a headache.
The next doctor he goes to gives him powerful migraine drugs, but they do nothing.
The man is in extreme pain and goes to a new doctor. The doctor tells him, "Your balls are pressing on your spine and causing a headache. We're going to have to chop off your testacles."
The man thinks about his pain and decides to go ahead and have the surgery.
It works! The man gets so excited that his pain is gone that on the way home from the hospital he decides to treat himself to a new wardrobe. He walks into a tailor's shop and tells the old man that owns the shop that he needs a new wardrobe.
The old man looks at him and says, "You're an 18" neck, 40"wide jacket, 15" sleeve, 32" inseam, 36" waist, and an 11D shoe."
The man says, "Wow that's great! You knew all that just by looking at me, but I'm sorry to tell you I'm only a 34" waist."
The old man says, "That's not possible, if you wore a 34" waist it would push your balls into your spine and you'd get a horrible headache."
Days pass and the headache gets worse and worse. He tries aspirin, herbal teas, relaxing massages. Nothing works.
The man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells him to drink more water and exercise every day. The man tries it for two weeks and still has a headache.
The next doctor he goes to gives him powerful migraine drugs, but they do nothing.
The man is in extreme pain and goes to a new doctor. The doctor tells him, "Your balls are pressing on your spine and causing a headache. We're going to have to chop off your testacles."
The man thinks about his pain and decides to go ahead and have the surgery.
It works! The man gets so excited that his pain is gone that on the way home from the hospital he decides to treat himself to a new wardrobe. He walks into a tailor's shop and tells the old man that owns the shop that he needs a new wardrobe.
The old man looks at him and says, "You're an 18" neck, 40"wide jacket, 15" sleeve, 32" inseam, 36" waist, and an 11D shoe."
The man says, "Wow that's great! You knew all that just by looking at me, but I'm sorry to tell you I'm only a 34" waist."
The old man says, "That's not possible, if you wore a 34" waist it would push your balls into your spine and you'd get a horrible headache."
187
June 12, 2011 09:47 AM
Whats brown and sticky?
a stick
a stick
I usually just give my 2 cents, but since most of the people I meet are stubborn I give a 1$ so my advice isn't lost via exchange rate.
101
June 26, 2011 09:06 AM
Someone took the door of a car to the desert with him, why?
So when he's hot, he can just roll down the window. :3
It sounds better in Arabic, K? XD
So when he's hot, he can just roll down the window. :3
It sounds better in Arabic, K? XD
This topic is closed to new replies.
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