update... i finished the story of my game, please send feedback, if you like it you like it, if you dont you dont, it isnt for everybody It all started in the year 1123, the facist goverment of electric transparent aliens of a small island in the bermuda triangle that leads to another dimmension, the name of the island was declaring chesocide, destorying all the chesse cause that is what the natives lived on, When the cheese was all gone, the natives started to starve, so in hiding they built a mulitnational suzophone, that causes a low freqeuncy tone, that calls out the surrounding nations in each nations own language. So the surrounding nations decided to help them, and supplied the native with cheese, and then there was a huge battle in which thousands of soliders got shrunken and got put in a wooden llama filled with tomatoes, which was thought to be posionus apples back then, and got shot into space never to be found again, Then the aliens destoryed the cheese and once ruled the island once again, also the aliens threw the multi-national suzophone, with a note attached on the inside. In the future, the year 2014 to be exact, a former professsional hockey playing duck, was waddling down the lake enjoying some cheese, until he saw a rusted up suzophone, with a note inside it stating "If you play this, you will experience chronic flaggelents(farting for the rest of your life), so ignoring the message the duck(name unknown yet) played an A flat and got sucked into the suzophone and got big flaggelent problems transported in the year 1122, 1 year before this happened, on to that island to. When he woke up he was in this unknown world........ [Edited by - dk32321 on March 22, 2005 9:34:53 PM]

Somewhere between "aliens" and "cheese" I scratched my eyes out.

I like it actually. It has originality. A lot of the old adventure games had humorous themes like this. Maniac Mansion and Monkey Island for example. I say the zanier the better. What type of game will it be though?

it would have to be an RPG really, could turn out good! I was a bit confised after reading it though lol

I would pay in the theaters to watch a movie marathon of Howard the Duck, Gigli, and Kazaam before I'd ever read this again. OMFG. I read this to a co-worker and he's sitting there with a blank-eyed stare, drooling; I think just hearing it lobotomized him.

But stranger stories have made for interesting games, so best of luck to ya!

Hahah, I'm with you EricTrickster.

You're going to have to be much more specific regarding the variety of cheeses mentioned in the story. Are we talking about Caerphilly? Brie? Gruyere? Or some to-be-discovered, radioactive, glowing cheese made from musical lollipop fetuses? Eh? Eh? ;D

Difficult to follow, and does not flow well.

I can't put my finger on it but I didn't like the mixture of comedy and factual info, didn't make me laugh or believe the story.

I would suggest an outline, maybe even jot down the elements of your story on a white board.

Dont give up, your doing "something", "others" are not.

Quote: Original post by dk32321
...a former professsional hockey playing duck, was waddling down the lake enjoying some cheese, until he saw a rusted up suzophone, with a note inside it stating "If you play this, you will experience chronic flaggelents(farting for the rest of your life), so ignoring the message the duck(name unknown yet) played an A flat and got sucked into the suzophone and got big flaggelent problems transported in the year 1122, 1 year before this happened, on to that island to. When he woke up he was in this unknown world........

are U on drugs?