Ten years before the Kingdom Alliance was formed, a wore broke out between the four races and a legion of demons. Men, the only non-magical race, led the war against the demons, as they had better tacticians than the other three races. The other three kingdoms sent their three most powerful soldiers to the kingdom of man. The king's high mage turned the foreign soldiers into gems and gave them to three human generals, who then got the soldier's abilities. These generals led the war from the frontlines and used their powers to win. The three gems were scattered around the land and hid. The four kingdoms united into one, the Kingdom Alliance. For generations after the war, three decendants of the generals were trained, in case they may need to lead the war against the demons again. Over a hundred years later, a large group of demons attacked the decendants. The three put up a good fight, but only one came out alive. This decendant was sent to search for the gems while the KA trained more soldiers. He finds the gem and learns to tap the powers of them, though only one at a time. He uses their powers to cut through the demons that stand in his way. After the three gems are found, you return to lead the armies against the demons and find the hidden fourth gem, which allows the decendant to tap the power of all three at the same time. You and your armies must fight a legion of demons to make your way to their leader and take him down. This was purposely made vague. This idea's basic, so any details and twist can be made. Anyway, what do you think?

It’s actually sounds like a solid workable game story. The formula is tried and true. If only it would be a more original one (it echoes with Warcraft and LOTR a lot).

I think it would gain more if the final resolution for the hero’s quest would be more substantial that just searching for three similar stones (the first of which you would have to give to player pretty early in the game – otherwise there is no stimuli to go on) and knowing that he (player) can kill everybody with a single shot when he gets them all is quite a blunt finale (even if player does not know that – he would be very disappointed with such a trivial ending).

Also if you would provide an antagonist – a “face” to the enemy it would give a more personal feel to the story (i.e. black-hooded character who’s secret identity will be revealed at the end [long lost brother turned bad :-) ] ) Also, explain WHY those stones where scattered around in the first place (does not really makes sense – usually “bad” weapons are scattered – “good ones” you keep close to yourself – thus – the Antagonist might provide a responsible answer – he/she hid them – since he/she does not want to loose) – then it might be a good candidate for another dungeon RPG.

...just my two cents.

If all the gems did was grant the bearer the abilites of one of the four strongest soliders from the magic kingdoms and that was enough to win the war, then why couldn't the 3 magic kingdoms win with out those games?

Also why where the gems scattered, that seem like a bad thing to do since the KA might need them again.

Perhaps you could try reworking it a little, the ideas that spring to mind are.

The races where ancient enemies and hated and mistrusted one another, when the demon armies arrived no one races was strong enough to resist them and so the banded together and united they drove off the demonic hordes. As pledge of eternal friendship and union the greatest wizards and heros of all four races where gathered together and the paradim spell was cast. This spell crystilized the best qualities of each of the four races and transformed the bearer into the supreme pinicle of that races potential. The gems where worn by the leaders of the four races and whenever discored arised during their counsels the kings would swap stones so they could truley understand one another. Then one night many years later a theif broke into the chamber where the gems where housed and succeded in stealing and escaping with the gem of man. Soon afterwards the theif was able to amass a seizable bandit army and It took a combined force of arms for the Alliance to subdue the theif and his army, however during the battle the gem of man was lost. Afterwards the kings decided that gems where to dangerous to keep and so the gems where scattered and hidden away, in hopes that they would never be needed again.

just an idea feel free to reject it.

im not entirely sure what genre of game you were thinking of...
it would work fairly well as an rpg, but i think there is potential for a side scroller as well...

just based on the usual aspects of said story, you don't really need to add much else. its an epic tale where the hero desperately must search out the three spirits of battle to fight an impossible foe. a story model thats been used quite effectively.

however, a few minor things i might point out, just from the sake of telling a good story.

involving different races... is it really necessary? i mean, that will involve a lot of work on your part, designing the various cultures and what not that would be involved.

along that note... all the numbers. I do appreciate the symbolism, i really do... but it might just be a little over the top. the whole "three decendants" thing i would definitely keep. it helps tell the story. also, X amount of kingdoms.

a suggestion. with the "3 descendants" thing, what if the player selected which one he wanted to be? that could help determine which one he chose to search for first. like, have this wise man, that new the lore of the gems... he would ask the player "well, which gem do you think is most important?"
and based on which gem you go retrieve first he'll be like "ah.. yes. that was your grandfather's gem."

i dunno. something to that effect would work beautifully.

and lastly... no need for paranoia about how much you put into a story. i say this, in hoping that other people might read it too. you wrote exactly what we're looking for. the general premise of the game. if we like it, then you expand from there.

i really do like what you have so far, and can't wait to see what happens when you expand on it.

Quote: Original post by tellman
I think it would gain more if the final resolution for the hero’s quest would be more substantial that just searching for three similar stones (the first of which you would have to give to player pretty early in the game – otherwise there is no stimuli to go on) and knowing that he (player) can kill everybody with a single shot when he gets them all is quite a blunt finale (even if player does not know that – he would be very disappointed with such a trivial ending).

I think more powerful demons and bosses could keep the player from getting bored.

Quote:
Also if you would provide an antagonist – a “face” to the enemy it would give a more personal feel to the story (i.e. black-hooded character who’s secret identity will be revealed at the end [long lost brother turned bad :-) ] ) Also, explain WHY those stones where scattered around in the first place (does not really makes sense – usually “bad” weapons are scattered – “good ones” you keep close to yourself – thus – the Antagonist might provide a responsible answer – he/she hid them – since he/she does not want to loose) – then it might be a good candidate for another dungeon RPG.

I think having the KA's monarch be the final villain would turn out nicely. He would know where the decendants were at all times, he would have the most powerful wizards and such to get what he wants done, he could have the gems hidden from the decendants purposely, and he would be able to set up the army to be slaughtered.

I was thinking, the monarch of the KA would be a half breed. It'd kinda be like having a king that was, say, half Roman, half Norse. His father was Norse, so he was named Odin by his father, but his mother was Roman, so he was named Jupiter by her. To all the people, he was known as Odin. When he wanted to do something away from the public view, he was Jupiter. Make sense?

Quote: Original post by TechnoGoth
If all the gems did was grant the bearer the abilites of one of the four strongest soliders from the magic kingdoms and that was enough to win the war, then why couldn't the 3 magic kingdoms win with out those games?

They were the three strongest warriors from the non-human races, and they couldn't win the war like that because they didn't know how to use their powers for military gain like the three generals did.

Quote:
Also why where the gems scattered, that seem like a bad thing to do since the KA might need them again.

Check above.

Quote: Original post by Chokki
im not entirely sure what genre of game you were thinking of...
it would work fairly well as an rpg, but i think there is potential for a side scroller as well...

Action-adventure, Devil May Cry style.

Quote:
involving different races... is it really necessary? i mean, that will involve a lot of work on your part, designing the various cultures and what not that would be involved.

Necessary? Prob'ly not. I'd like to do it, though, because it's something I'd like to do.

Quote:
a suggestion. with the "3 descendants" thing, what if the player selected which one he wanted to be? that could help determine which one he chose to search for first. like, have this wise man, that new the lore of the gems... he would ask the player "well, which gem do you think is most important?"
and based on which gem you go retrieve first he'll be like "ah.. yes. that was your grandfather's gem."

The opening sequence could start in first-person view, where you're just lookin' at an old man. He asks you which one you plan on going to first. A menu comes up and you answer. After that, the camera pulls back to reveal you as whoever while the old man says, "That was your grandfather's gem," or something to that effect.