This is the current background story i came up with for my text-based MMORPG: Satordeus, Creator and God of the people of Mundus, had grown weary and bored with maintaining the balance of the world he had created. Seeking a means of releasing himself of his tasks, he fathered four children with women from the mortal plane. He divided the heart of Mundus into the four aspects of life: earth, air, fire and water. He then assigned the power and the responsiblity over an aspect to each child. Each child was named after the aspect they controlled: Divumsemdeus (air half-god) - ruler of the sky Aquasemdeus (water half-god) - ruler of the waters Ignissemdeus (fire half-god) - ruler of fire Terrasemdeus (Earth half-god) - ruler of the earth All went well, life went on unhindered by the change as his children grew into their roles, and Satordeus was able to finally rest. But the children were of half-mortal blood, and as such they also possessed the lure of mortal emotions. They fell, one by one, to the lust of their mortal longings. Greed and Jealousy consumed them, none was satisfied with their share. The world slowly began its slip from balance, each child straying from the tasks of maintaining the balance of their own aspects as they strove to thwart eachother and draw more power towards themselves. The earth began to rumble and crack, fire storms ravaged the lands, tornados leveled forests, rivers rose and consumed whole areas, the world began to stress with the disorder. Satordeus, woken from his slumber by the ordeal, was not impressed with what he saw. His people had lost faith, and fear lay deep in their eyes. The world was in splinters. He began the restoration, and sought to restrain his children. But, having had the taste of power, they did not idly retreat into the darkness. In a final act of will, they combined their efforts against their father, banishing him from the world he had created. With their father out of their way, they resumed their struggles, pitting against eachother in constant turmoil. But none could ever gain the advantage, as each aspect was divided equally, none being stronger then the others. They became aware of this, and hence they focused towards the mortals to gain the leverage they required, and so the Divine Reckoning began. Who will you choose to serve? ------------------------ still not set on it. the whole 1 god for each element im not 100% for... as it isnt a very original concept. but in terms of game-play the dynamics work well for it. im not sure.... either way, any comments and constructive critisim would be appreciated

Sorry but this concept gets two thumbs down. I think you could start over and do a lot better, especially if you''ve been keeping up with all the interesting theorizing about MMORPG design going on in the gamedesign forum. Remember, MMORPGs live or die on the appealingness of their atmosphere and roleplay/other gameplay opportunities. You want to hook people in by having a world so damn cool they want to live in it for a while, and keep them there by having mysteries for them to unover, good npcs for them to interact with, personal stories for them to live, puzzles for the to solve, a role for them to play and feel fullfilled in how they are contributing to the game world...

So try again, be creative, see if you can come up with something that we would want to play! Ganbatte!

could u tell me what u think doesnt work about it?

thanks.

Don''t let S&S get your spirits down. Some people thrive on originality, and even a whiff of cliche is anathema to them.

For my part, I rather like your system. It''s simple and easy to learn, which is important. It combines the angry, imperfect pantheon of the Greeks with the tetra-elemental metaphysic of Aristotle and various occult practices. It''s a fine and refined foundation for a magic system, and it gives you at least four warring factions, which can balance each other in intuitive ways.

I further advise you to have the population of the world defined in terms of these four elements. Have the four demi-gods breed further with mortals. You can use the standard Ondine/Salamander/Gnome/Sylph spirits that Paracelsus described, and have all kinds of monsters and beasts arise on the continuum between pure mortal and demi-god. Just as alchemy accounted for every material on Earth by describing it as a combination of the four elemental materials, you could have every person and critter be the result of a genealogy stemming from one or more of the demi-gods.

I don''t want to write your metaphysic for you, but just sitting at this keyboard I can think of a dozen possible ways to build a world from this simple keystone you''ve described. It''s a strong starting move. Don''t let other posters convince you that nothing original can come from it. Game design is like a game of chess: The fact that a million other games start the same way doesn''t doom this one to a single path. So don''t be afraid to use moves and ideas that you''ve seen in other places. Stand on the shoulders of giants, but use your own vision to see the world around you.

o_O where to start... ok well if you want people to be loyal to one god or another, you have to give them some reason to do so. Gods are important NPCs, you need to give them unique and appealing personalities just like you should any important NPC in an RPG. What you have right now is 4 cardboard cutouts that differ only by their color/element - do you really want to make something like Power Rangers? o.O In a text-based game it''s exspecially vital to have good characterization and other story elements because you have no eyecandy graphics to create atmosphere and portray characters for you. You also need to think about segments of your audience and what kind of gods appeal to different people. Why don''t you think about people that have been idolized in our culture: the virgin mary, assorted rock singers, famous actors and actresses, popular fictional characters... If you must have gods (not something I particularly like in the first place) at least make them cool, fun, interesting, and diverse gods.

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Original post by sunandshadow
o_O where to start... ok well if you want people to be loyal to one god or another, you have to give them some reason to do so.

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Most people are naturally inclined to one element or another outside games. I think just having that would be reason for someone to choose a particular side. I, personally, like lightning, but that''s not an option in this.

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Gods are important NPCs, you need to give them unique and appealing personalities just like you should any important NPC in an RPG.

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This is true. If I were to make the game, I''d make temples were you can actually learn about a certain god and his or her past and such.

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What you have right now is 4 cardboard cutouts that differ only by their color/element - do you really want to make something like Power Rangers? o.O

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Well, he can''t exactly have a game about four warring wind gods. What''d be the fun in that. They have to differ in element and color for diversity.

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You also need to think about segments of your audience and what kind of gods appeal to different people. Why don''t you think about people that have been idolized in our culture: the virgin mary, assorted rock singers, famous actors and actresses, popular fictional characters...

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Uhh... Why would he look to rock singers and movie stars? I really don''t get that part, Sun. I do, though, think he could give it a little more diversity by adding more deities. I''d take notes from the Hindu triad of Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva-- the creator, preserver, and destroyer. I''d also make more deities for more elements and aspects of your typical RPG battle system, such as afflictions (poison, curse, paralyze, et cetera).

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If you must have gods (not something I particularly like in the first place)...

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Aah. Sunandshadow, the athiest. ^_^

Orion

"Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, add what is uniquely your own."
-BRUCE LEE

I believe what you say (iorn chef) but i dont think if your going to consider yourself a game writer, beggining or expert, you have to be thinking outside of the box as well as knowing what is in the box. You cant expect story''s to fall under the same idea....blah blah blah the gods forged the sword...blah blah then they made this temple as a memorial....blah blah. It has to be constructed for a purpose, something closer than entertainment to the human heart. The great thing about videogames is that they are a far more descriptive medium of expression than writing or movies, they also force far more reader, watcher, user participation than anything else, allowing for full submersion into the world and its ideas.

I guess i cant say for sure or not what people like, but i know that when i play a game it has to contain origional ideas about old subjects. Greatest game ever; xenogears. they took a simple yet controversial, non concrete idea (christian god) and asked quiestions. What is his nature, what is the conflict...resolutions? It was a masterpiece, and well recieved.
what we learn is that simply subjecting people to basic stupid ideas about generic gods that rule through physical power and either are beaten back by mindless barbarians with large arms and leave weapons behind forged from light...? HELL NO. we want storys about real world ideas on epic scales that go on in a fast pace. We want to explore and be subjected to possible outcomes that hold more meaning than that of the fate of a character we may or may not care about. Maybe we want an story about god, maybe not...but dont you dare use a shovel to scoop up leftover crap from other games and shove it down or throats, its causing me to choke. And for those of you who feel the need to regurgitate what others have done, sit back and play instead of write, i know the idea that the more crap you pile ontop of a bad premise the better the premise looks, but maybe we should leave writing to the writers and playing to the players...please figure out which one you are...then never let up...

As far as characterization of the Gods goes, I think you should give them personality traits that are also seen in their followers. Traditionally, for instance, the element of air is associated with academic pursuits, clear thinking, and a rigorous, methodical approach to conflict. So make Divumsemdeus something like a scholarly Buddha, and have air warriors be like kung-fu monks, spending their time studying and training, with clean monastic homes and mountain-top temples. Magical powers in the wind category could involve pressure waves, telepathy, autokinesis (control of involuntary bodily functions, like respiration or healing), and levitation/telekinesis. Meditation would be a good way to heal or recharge spiritual energy, and they''d have a lot of cardiovascular endurance, good healing, and good speed, but not much for strength or charisma (being ascetics and all).

Or something like that. The point is that Wind guys, with their calm, their ritual, and their studies would not get along well with the raging fire guys, the whimsical water guys or especially the damnably stupid earth guys. A simple square grip could map out each character on the air/earth and fire/water continua, and could be a part fo character creation. Instead of setting values for intelligence, charisma or strength, you pick a point on the grid and get the alignment and properties appropriate to that point.

If you just start the story after the banishment of Satordeus and work through the next thousand years or so, you could have all kinds of people show up, all kinds of structures built, and all kinds of grudges and debts build up between the demi-gods. Then you set the game at the year 1000 AB (After Banishment) and cut the player loose in the world that has grown up around the four demi-gods. Enough generations have passed for people to be homogeneously spread over the alignment grid, and weaponmaking and magical arts have probably gotten to a point where ass-kicking examples of both are in existence. A good world and a good metaphysic will be valuable tools in making a good game.

Thanks for some of the constructive criticism.

I dont claim or pretend to be a story writer, far from it, but im creating my own game simply as a part-time thing, so i can learn some game design concepts outside of my current studies.
Without the help of a story-writer, i need to come up with my own story

You also have to remember that that was just the background story, or foundation.

I like some of your ideas Iron Chef. thanks for the input... you have given me abit more to dwell on.


It is true that i simply took a rather unoriginal concept of 1 god for each element, and try and put my own twist on it. It was more for convenience then anything.... the system simply works well and has broader possibilities with respect to gameplay. This is my first time creating a game and i dont want to get bogged down in the complexities and fine details of creating complex new magic systems and intricate intertwining storylines.


Also in terms of my story, i thought of somehow later on in the game bringing back saterdeus (the father) back in some way. Whether this be done through interplanar projections of himself from the ''immortal plane'', or somehow planting his essence into a mortal form before being banished, im not sure how...
but it would creating another faction, which i think would only involve "chosen" individuals and be quite secretive.

Decisions like that will play an important role in the evolution of your idea, so be careful with them, but don''t get hung up on them. It''s better to get halfway through and scrap the idea and then start again than to waffle at the beginning of the project and never get anything done.

To tie into a different thread in the design forum, the decisions you''re making now are like starting a new character in Fallout. You aren''t sure whether you want the lockpicking skill, the small guns skill, or the barter skill. It''s better to just pick one and see how the game goes, and if you decide you wanted to do something different, you start over. Not only will you know that lockpicking is more useful than small guns, you''ll also have learned a lot about the challenges you''ll face, the decisions you''ll have to make, and the goals you now want to reach. You''re better off doing a bad job and then trying again than you are trying to get everything meticulously right the first time through.

Good luck with your project.