You people need to get jobs, stop posting these things from your parent''s basement. As for your "novel", I would get more out of reading the packaging of a toilet paper roll, it just plain sucks, it is nonsensical, cliched crap. And for the rest of you, are you really that stupid or are you just egging this jackass on?
If any of you knew how to write stories then you guys will be busy writing not posting messages on websites. I''m pretty sure you guys don''t even recognize Stephen Crane or even Charles Dickens. It''s just interesting how people just blab on without knowing a thing about story writing.
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FlamingBoi's Novel
253
April 13, 2004 03:14 PM
Normally, I don''t consider AP posts, as people without the guts to show their names are far below my consideration. But today, I''m sick, so I get to break a few rules. 
Software engineer for a governmental-associated company, as well as soon-to-be university student. Oh, and I rather like my house, thanks.
Touché.
Well, see, we like to try to help people when they''ve got dreams. For one thing, it makes it that much funnier when they fail and we get to tell them "Told you so!" And for an other, if they succeed, well, who knows? We might get some credit.
Well, there''s also this human kindness thing...
So, basically, judging from your next statement, you''ve sold your bestseller on your first try?
Enlighten us.
quote:
You people need to get jobs, stop posting these things from your parent''s basement.
Software engineer for a governmental-associated company, as well as soon-to-be university student. Oh, and I rather like my house, thanks.
quote:
As for your "novel", I would get more out of reading the packaging of a toilet paper roll, it just plain sucks, it is nonsensical, cliched crap.
Touché.
quote:
And for the rest of you, are you really that stupid or are you just egging this jackass on?
Well, see, we like to try to help people when they''ve got dreams. For one thing, it makes it that much funnier when they fail and we get to tell them "Told you so!" And for an other, if they succeed, well, who knows? We might get some credit.
Well, there''s also this human kindness thing...
quote:
If any of you knew how to write stories then you guys will be busy writing not posting messages on websites.
So, basically, judging from your next statement, you''ve sold your bestseller on your first try?
quote:
It''s just interesting how people just blab on without knowing a thing about story writing.
Enlighten us.
253
April 17, 2004 02:32 PM
Huh, this is almost gonna sound like a necro post, but... heh.
I've been digging through my old books for a while and found one that I rather loved. Mainly because it was insanely entertaining and had, possibly, the best dialogs ever. The author's written style is flawless and I believe any aspiring author could and should learn from him.
Well, he's dead now. Hopefully you can hold a seance.
---
Ford Prefect turned up the day after that looking hung over and complaining that Arthur ever answered the phone.
In fact he looked extremely ill, not merely as if he'd been pulled through a hedge backwards, but as if the hedge was being simultaneously pulled backwards through a combine harvester. He staggered into Arthur's sitting room, waving aside all offers of support, which was an error, because the effort caused him to lose his balance altogether and Arthur had eventually to drag him to the sofa.
"Thank you," said Ford, "thank you very much. Have you ..." he said, and fell asleep for three hours.
"... the faintest idea" he continued suddenly, when he revived, "how hard it is to tap into the British phone system from the Pleiades? I can see that you haven't, so I'll tell you," he said, "over the very large mug of black coffee that you are about to make me."
He followed Arthur wobbily into the kitchen.
"Stupid operators keep asking you where you're calling from and you try and tell them Letchworth and they say you couldn't be if you're coming in on that circuit. What are you doing?"
"Making you some black coffee."
"Oh." Ford seemed oddly disappointed. He looked about the place forlornly.
"What's this?" he said.
"Rice Crispies."
"And this?"
"Paprika."
"I see," said Ford, solemnly, and put the two items back down, one on top of the other, but that didn't seem to balance properly, so he put the other on top of the one and that seemed to work.
"A little space-lagged," he said. "What was I saying?"
"About not phoning from Letchworth."
"I wasn't. I explained this to the lady. `Bugger Letchworth,' I said, `if that's your attitude. I am in fact calling from a sales scoutship of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, currently on the sub-light-speed leg of a journey between the stars known on your world, though not necessarily to you, dear lady.' - I said `dear lady'," explained Ford Prefect, "because I didn't want her to be offended by my implication that she was an ignorant cretin ..."
"Tactful," said Arthur Dent.
"Exactly," said Ford, "tactful."
He frowned.
"Space-lag," he said, "is very bad for sub-clauses. You'll have to assist me again," he continued, "by reminding me what I was talking about."
"`Between the stars,'" said Arthur, "`known on your world, though not necessarily to you, dear lady, as ...'" "`Pleiades Epsilon and Pleiades Zeta,'" concluded Ford triumphantly. "This conversation lark is quite gas isn't it?"
"Have some coffee."
"Thank you, no. `And the reason,' I said, `why I am bothering you with it rather than just dialling direct as I could, because we have some pretty sophisticated telecommunications equipment out here in the Pleiades, I can tell you, is that the penny pinching son of a starbeast piloting this son of a starbeast spaceship insists that I call collect. Can you believe that?'"
---
See, all that happens here could be summed up as...
---
Ford arrived.
"Where have you been Arthur? I've been trying to phone you!"
---
My point is that you should aim for more instead of less. The more text to read, the more (reasonably interesting) content, the better.
And it was also pretty much just an excuse to post an exerpt from a truly remarkable book. Geek culture and all. :D
[edited by - RuneLancer on April 17, 2004 3:34:53 PM]
I've been digging through my old books for a while and found one that I rather loved. Mainly because it was insanely entertaining and had, possibly, the best dialogs ever. The author's written style is flawless and I believe any aspiring author could and should learn from him.
Well, he's dead now. Hopefully you can hold a seance.
---
Ford Prefect turned up the day after that looking hung over and complaining that Arthur ever answered the phone.
In fact he looked extremely ill, not merely as if he'd been pulled through a hedge backwards, but as if the hedge was being simultaneously pulled backwards through a combine harvester. He staggered into Arthur's sitting room, waving aside all offers of support, which was an error, because the effort caused him to lose his balance altogether and Arthur had eventually to drag him to the sofa.
"Thank you," said Ford, "thank you very much. Have you ..." he said, and fell asleep for three hours.
"... the faintest idea" he continued suddenly, when he revived, "how hard it is to tap into the British phone system from the Pleiades? I can see that you haven't, so I'll tell you," he said, "over the very large mug of black coffee that you are about to make me."
He followed Arthur wobbily into the kitchen.
"Stupid operators keep asking you where you're calling from and you try and tell them Letchworth and they say you couldn't be if you're coming in on that circuit. What are you doing?"
"Making you some black coffee."
"Oh." Ford seemed oddly disappointed. He looked about the place forlornly.
"What's this?" he said.
"Rice Crispies."
"And this?"
"Paprika."
"I see," said Ford, solemnly, and put the two items back down, one on top of the other, but that didn't seem to balance properly, so he put the other on top of the one and that seemed to work.
"A little space-lagged," he said. "What was I saying?"
"About not phoning from Letchworth."
"I wasn't. I explained this to the lady. `Bugger Letchworth,' I said, `if that's your attitude. I am in fact calling from a sales scoutship of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, currently on the sub-light-speed leg of a journey between the stars known on your world, though not necessarily to you, dear lady.' - I said `dear lady'," explained Ford Prefect, "because I didn't want her to be offended by my implication that she was an ignorant cretin ..."
"Tactful," said Arthur Dent.
"Exactly," said Ford, "tactful."
He frowned.
"Space-lag," he said, "is very bad for sub-clauses. You'll have to assist me again," he continued, "by reminding me what I was talking about."
"`Between the stars,'" said Arthur, "`known on your world, though not necessarily to you, dear lady, as ...'" "`Pleiades Epsilon and Pleiades Zeta,'" concluded Ford triumphantly. "This conversation lark is quite gas isn't it?"
"Have some coffee."
"Thank you, no. `And the reason,' I said, `why I am bothering you with it rather than just dialling direct as I could, because we have some pretty sophisticated telecommunications equipment out here in the Pleiades, I can tell you, is that the penny pinching son of a starbeast piloting this son of a starbeast spaceship insists that I call collect. Can you believe that?'"
---
See, all that happens here could be summed up as...
---
Ford arrived.
"Where have you been Arthur? I've been trying to phone you!"
---
My point is that you should aim for more instead of less. The more text to read, the more (reasonably interesting) content, the better.
And it was also pretty much just an excuse to post an exerpt from a truly remarkable book. Geek culture and all. :D
[edited by - RuneLancer on April 17, 2004 3:34:53 PM]
1,826
April 29, 2004 05:49 PM
quote:Well, yeah. I think he was kinda assuming that people would recognise it.
Original post by Anonymous Poster
That seems like an excerpt from "Hitchhiker''s Guide to Galaxy"
Richard "Superpig" Fine - saving pigs from untimely fates - Microsoft DirectX MVP 2006/2007/2008/2009
"Shaders are not meant to do everything. Of course you can try to use it for everything, but it's like playing football using cabbage." - MickeyMouse
1,788
April 29, 2004 05:55 PM
quote:
Original post by Anonymous Poster
That seems like an excerpt from "Hitchhiker''s Guide to Galaxy"
OMG U CRAKED TEH CODE!!!!
"Sneftel is correct, if rather vulgar." --Flarelocke
253
April 30, 2004 02:01 AM
quote:Yeah, I was kinda hoping those who''ve read it would catch on as to what I was quoting.
Original post by superpigquote:Well, yeah. I think he was kinda assuming that people would recognise it.
Original post by Anonymous Poster
That seems like an excerpt from "Hitchhiker''s Guide to Galaxy"
Lovely book, btw. Douglas Adams is very good.Well, congratulations. It would appear that you''ve won the internet. The ending and credits will follow shortly.
265
May 01, 2004 06:38 PM
Back to the origional post - don''t try to make a novel until you''ve written some short stories first. You''d be suprised how hard it is to write a truly entertaining two page narritive. Now multiply by 100 and you''ve got how hard it is to write a novel. As many people have pointed out, your writing style is childish and lacks detail. Pick up a copy of The Lord of The Rings trilogy (the books, not the movies).
Here are some other good writers that you should check out
* C.S. Lewis
* H.P. Lovecraft (Horror)
* Poe
* Michael Ende (Children''s books)
You should read more than just these 4 people, but they are a good starting point. Read books that are not in your favorate genre, focusing on just one thing will ruin your perspective. If you''d like, you could write some short stories about Bane''s childhood. What type of martial art did he learn, and how did he learn it? Remember to add details, and don''t bite off more than you can chew.
Good Luck
Here are some other good writers that you should check out
* C.S. Lewis
* H.P. Lovecraft (Horror)
* Poe
* Michael Ende (Children''s books)
You should read more than just these 4 people, but they are a good starting point. Read books that are not in your favorate genre, focusing on just one thing will ruin your perspective. If you''d like, you could write some short stories about Bane''s childhood. What type of martial art did he learn, and how did he learn it? Remember to add details, and don''t bite off more than you can chew.
Good Luck
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