How''s this? I''m guessing it''s probably cliched and whatnot, but hey... ------------------ You wake up, in the darkness, pull yourself up against the nearest wall and begin to assess the situation. The sounds of gunfire recede into the distance, and the air smells of oil and blood. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you begin to make out shapes - the place looks alien to you, unfamiliar. Runes of some sort appear here and there. And as your brain clicks into motion, you find yourself translating them - "Detention block B." Suddenly, it all comes flooding back. You were on a trading mission, to the Io colony.. you picked up unusual readings from Europa... too close.. missiles.. crash... aliens. Aliens keeping you prisoner, an interrogation. Supporting yourself against the wall, you stand up and shake your head to clear it. There was something more, wasn''t there? From the window, you saw something.. another ship. Human, military. A few minutes, then an explosion. Lights out, and you were shaken off your feet. You must have hit your head while falling. Suddenly, everything makes cold, terrifying sense. Stuck in an alien base, in the crossfire of a battle between human and Europan, with no ship or supplies... and your only hope of survival will be your wit, resourcefulness, and sheer strength of mind. You step out of the cell, and begin to search for a way out... ---------------------- Superpig - saving pigs from untimely fates - sleeps in a ham-mock at www.thebinaryrefinery.cjb.net

It looks like a good begining but...try to give it a better background. Dont have to be a very big one but something at least.

PS. I didnt uderstand very well if were the mas who was traped or was an alien. Probably bs im a little tired but anyway i think you need to clarify the things a little more. The character could be an alien captured by humans. that would be cool.


[edited by - HPK on September 5, 2002 9:05:22 AM]

Sounds like Wolfenstein 3-D a bit, where you escape from a prison. Not that that''s BAD at all. What''s it gonna end up being, a shooter?

Aliens? Hmm, not too crash hot on aliens myself these days. I always wanted to see human''s battling humans - you know - Earth sends scientists to Mars - Scientists start mining and exloring Mars - Scientists colonise Mars - Earth in population crisis sends millions of people to Mars - Mars natives (Lets say 60 years after original team was sent?) get pissed off and kick Earth out - Earth responds in kind. FPS? Sure, why not - make it a bit like Deus Ex, except allow play for Earth AND Mars?

The reason I mention this is because aliens have been done, and done, and done. I''m sure colony wars on Mars isn''t exactly original either, but I don''t think it''s been made into a game(?)

Perhaps (Integrating your story too) your character starts out in the detention block on a Martian ship, having drifted too close to their position. During your escape, you learn of the Martian''s plans and you realise you need to get the information back to Earth.

On a flipside, let''s say you could play the opposite side as well? The game for the Martians start at the escape of an Earthling prisoner - as Security Chief on board the Martian vessel, it is your job to find him and deal with him.

It''s the same idea, I suppose, but replacing aliens with human Martians. I like the idea, mainly because you can go into the bad history between Mars and Earth, etc ... eh ... I don''t know what any of this sounds like - I''ve been up 24+ ...

A very tired and haggard me, signing off.

Great buildup, but it''s not really a backstory, it''s a intro with a few flashbacks. Backstory is really technical (you don''t want to have me tell you how detailed it gets) and detailed, with lots of boring stuff like timelines, eventlines, history lines, culturelines, heritage lines of characters or ensemble subcharacters (second players in the jargon), important technological advances relevant to storyline, it''s not the piece of drama most ppl think it is.

Thanks. Adventuredesign is right, it''s not really a backstory, that''s the wrong word for it.

It''s just you who''s captured. It''s an alien base, but you happen to be there at the same time the humans stage an attack (a bit like half-life, marine vs. alien with the scientists in the middle).

It might be cool to have the player as the alien, but.. it''d be difficult to do. In order for the player to relate to their character (and therefore become immersed in the game), the character would have to exhibit human qualities (the same basic code of ethics, for example. Although that may not apply to some players ).

It does sound a bit like Wolf3D, yes. I hadn''t thought of it that way. Graphics might come out a little higher quality

Any other comments?