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How to Create a World – A Primer (Humor)

Started by April 03, 2002 04:01 PM
-1 comments, last by BigA 22 years, 8 months ago
This is an email that was sent to me by a friend: First, it’s extremely helpful to have both an overactive imagination and some sort of psychosis. Mental instability is the best fodder for worlds. They can spring into being in a matter of minutes. Lacking debilitating madness, drugs are often helpful. However, one must never assume that worlds created while stoned are as cool as they seem. These worlds should be subjected to sober third-party inspection. Sometimes it’s best if you know what you want to use the world for. Is it a toy? A plaything for yourself, or for others? Does it have an age range? Does it present a choking hazard? Or are you creating it to do your bidding? As a slave empire for you to rule with an iron fist in a titanium glove (and adamantine claws, no less)? Is it a set-piece world, a stage backdrop for a specific cast of characters? Once you know what you’re planning to do with it, the easy part is deciding what flavor world you’d like to sample. Say, something dark. Something sort of iron-flavored, with a touch of bile. Like old blood and vomit. Once you’ve got the flavor of the world, you can progress to its physical characteristics. You want to be able to pick your world out of a lineup, should it ever get into trouble with the local authorities. Does it have oceans? Landmasses? Mountains? Forests? Do the plains roll invitingly, or do they stretch out like a limp... er... pancake? Who lives in this world of yours? People? Things shaped like people? Things not shaped like people who nonetheless think they are people? Are there plants? Do they eat the people not-shaped like people? Are there (and this is important) platypi? Are the people (people-shaped or otherwise) homogenous? Are they white-bread? Are they white-bread-with-crusts-cut-off? Do they come in other colors? Do they have 31 flavors? Can I get mine Cajun blackened? Do the people get along with other people? Do they have social lives? Do they have kings and queens? Emperors? Pharaohs? Egomaniacal, grind-the-faces-of-everyone-else, jackbooted evil despots? Do they wear tiaras? Sparkly robes with glitter and sequins? Gourds? It isn’t easy being a Creator. And like as not everyone’s going to blame you for the climate, the bugs, and The Smell. But if you screw this one up, remember, that’s what black holes are for. Edited by - BigA on April 3, 2002 5:02:02 PM

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