Yeah, you're wasting your time. Stop writing large design documents. Stop creating wikis. Stop creating models and artwork. None of that matters right now. You're getting frustrated because you're wasting your time trying to create documentation that nobody is going to read, which doesn't lead to a game being produced, and you're realizing that now and it's just spinning tires in the mud, hoping to get traction to move forward. You just push the gas pedal down harder, make more mud fly, but still get nowhere, and get even more upset. It's time to change your approach.

Step 1: Learn to code. Be warned, this will be an excruciatingly frustrating experience for beginners, but persistence and patience pays off with a huge reward. Beginners aren't just learning how to code, they're also learning a programming language at the same time, so this makes it doubly difficult.

Step 2: Pick an extremely simple game project. Start with tic-tac-toe. Code it. It's so ridiculously simple and so well understood, that no document writing is necessary. That means you have have to focus on whats important, and that is completing the project. No excuses.

Step 3: Gradually, ramp up the difficulty of your projects. First you do tic-tac-toe. Then you do pong. Then you do break out. Then you do invaders. Then asteroids. Then centipede. Then red baron. Then a super simple platformer. etc. etc. Do NOT let yourself get stuck on bullshit that doesn't matter.

Step 4: As you're going through step 3, keep a keen eye on your own processes. What's working for you? What's not working? What can you change to become more productive? How do you measure it?

This will take a lot of time and patience. Game development is something which requires a pretty big investment of time and experience. Think of yourself as a character in an RPG, and every project you complete lets you "level up" through experience. You don't want to be a level 1 game dev attempting to attack a level 50 project -- this is a classic rookie mistake we see over and over again.

Remember, at the end of the day, what matters most is execution. Get the job done. Ship it. Get it out the door. A shipped product, no matter how small and insignificant, is worth an infinite amount more than a grand half finished project which will never ship.

Learn to code

Yeah, I know it's a big thing, I know a bit of python, just recently tried unity but maybe I'll came back in unreal and would learn it's c++, cause I learn a lot about ue in blueprint and cpp is base of programming, yeah, that's fine. But there is same thing with me, if I'll learn that, the time will come and I'll think that it's not mine and better was been to modelling and more, more in circle. Btw, a problem of programming for me is cause my minds memory don't work well last time cause of tonns of information, and I just would learn code with snail's speed cause every code language contains a lot of syntax, metods and other things I must to remember. I threw insitute studying just because can't remember all of that math and physic formulas. Maybe that's just cause of poor as shit education system in my country... doesn't matter...
I always was been creative guy, invent something, wrote stories, poems and same way now I rage cause still didn't written a novel. That's why I now also try to write, cause it's best thing I can do, think up, analyze e.t.c, but seems like it's no way to become needed somewhere with that skills...

Think of yourself as a character in an RPG, and every project you complete lets you "level up" through experience

Now I like in rpg with not bad lvl but mastery points distributed evenly to all skills, so every skill are still on like 2/20 points, but game balance is broken and on my current character level skills have insufficiently mastery to recieve exp from work...

Everyday think to start transfer my design doc from google docs to dokuwiki and work about project details but can't even make a paragraph,,, Every damn day... And still don't understand why...

Then write a sentence.

know a bit of python, just recently tried unity but maybe I'll came back in unreal and would learn it's c++, cause I learn a lot about ue in blueprint and cpp is base of programming, yeah, that's fine. But there is same thing with me, if I'll learn that, the time will come and I'll think that it's not mine and better was been to modelling and more, more in circle. Btw, a problem of programming for me is cause my minds memory don't work well last time cause of tonns of information, and I just would learn code with snail's speed cause every code language contains a lot of syntax, metods and other things I must to remember.

Stop switching. The grass is always greener at the other side of the fence, but at your skill level it becomes more just drowning in new things.

Stop switching, and give yourself the chance to become more familiar with all the things you already have.

There is no need to remember everything from your head. It is fine to look up things if you need to. I have been programming Python since version 1.5.2 (at somewhere previous century), I still use the standard library reference at docs.python.org daily. I can code C++ without book now, but that took a few years too. Fluent programming ability is measured in years, give it time.

Find a way of working that you are happy with. Complaining that it doesn't work is not the answer. Instead, after getting the understanding that your current approach fails, find out what you are missing. Find out how to fix that and try to integrate that in your daily life. Change your habits so you can learn/work/live better. Repeat forever.

A third point is that programming is to a large part being very sticky. Problems aren't going to win from me. It may have found a way to elude me for 10 times, but I don't give up, the 11th time will succeed, you'll see!

Failure is normal in programming. No matter what your skill is, you are always fighting a not understood problem. (If you understood it, solving would be trivial.)

Not being able to solve it doesn't count as failure, it's learning. "Right, this and this doesn't work because ...". That's gold, it's knowledge I can use the next time to attack the problem from a different angle. Each time you try you learn something new. Do it long enough, and it will run out of corners to evade you. Then you can tckle it properly ^_^

Stop switching

Yes, yes, I know, better to do just only one thing and learn about it more and more achieving success eventually.
But as I wrote in topic, I'm just like a lot and everything is very interesting for me. Even if I'll have good progress in coding, I'll think that maybe I'll be much better in modelling. Well, not when have progress, but every new day I didn't learn a bit of modelling.
Oh, wish to know si much what's really my destination...