[edited topic title to reflect actual intent of this thread. The original title was "How do you ignore your wife", to which the answer would obviously be "you don't, but you can do so and so to manage your family/work time". I believe this is known as a loaded question (thanks hodgman), not intended to be answered on its face.]

So my wife doesn't have a job even though she has a college degree (v. high unemployment rate in our country), we don't have kids yet, so she pretty much has nothing to do all day. I return home from my day job, but I'm finding it pretty difficult to sit at my computer and work for any considerable length of time without it causing her to become upset. I've talked with her repeatedly and I feel she understands and tries hard to not be demanding and let me work in piece, but the truth is that it's not working, and she always ends up feeling lonely, sad, and ignored. I don't feel it's her fault, but I do know it's seriously getting in the way of me working on my indie project. It's not that I don't want to spend any time with her, because I do, but it seems that as long as I'm at home, I'm expected to spend ALL my time with her.

Yesterday I stumbled upon a story about a failed kickstarter project that ended up costing the developer his marriage specifically because he worked too hard on the project at the expense of spending time with his family. It caused me to worry. For people who work on projects after their day jobs, how do you ignore your wives?

Quit your day job :lol:

Seriously though, it's the same with any hobby. If you played golf every afternoon it would be detrimental to your personal relationships too. Every relationship is different so you need to discuss how much time is appropriate to spend on personal hobbies / "me time".

Quit your day job :lol:

Seriously though, it's the same with any hobby. If you played golf every afternoon it would be detrimental to your personal relationships too. Every relationship is different so you need to discuss how much time is appropriate to spend on personal hobbies / "me time".

Setting hard limits did not work in my case - apparently the sight of me sitting at my computer doesn't register with her as actual work, especially since the project has yet to generate any income.

Is it impossible to let her join the project?

Great idea, but unfortunately yes, it's impossible in my case. She has no technological skills that can be even remotely useful to the project.

I mainly posted in order to hear people's experiences and ideas with this matter in general, so a suggestion that doesn't work for me may well work for another couple :)

Nobody said she had to deal with the technological side of things though... there's playtesting, there's suggesting ideas, there's helping point out obvious flaws, there's quite a bunch of stuff that could be done. This is precisely where you should be creative =P And if she could get a college degree she probably can manage to learn something complex if needed, so don't underestimate that too.

we don't have kids yet, so she pretty much has nothing to do all day

I see a couple of alternatives here.

1. Have her make you sandwiches and bring them to you while you indulge yourself in your self-actualization.
2. Make a baby on her so she can stay barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen while you indulge yourself in your self-actualization.
3. Turn off the computer and work on your social skills, maybe try to save your marriage.

Setting hard limits did not work in my case - apparently the sight of me sitting at my computer doesn't register with her as actual work, especially since the project has yet to generate any income.

That's an honest conversation you need to have with yourself -- are you working two jobs, or do you have a job and a hobby?

If you decide that you are working two jobs, imagine for a moment that it's something mundane, like stocking shelves at a supermarket. Now replay one of the discussions with your wife in this alternate reality -- "Amr0, I never see you! That damn supermarket keeps you there all night! Why can't you just quit, we don't need the money that badly?". Find out if you really do have a good reason to be trying to work two jobs or not -- one of which is an unpaid job at a risky startup company who are only giving you equity instead of salary.

If you decide that you have one job and a hobby, imagine that it's something else, like golf. Is it really appropriate to play golf every single day?

P.S. the way you phrased the question ("how do you ignore your wives?") reminds me of the famous loaded question, "have you stopped beating your wife yet?" :lol:

The answer to that is to un-ask it and correct the line of questioning.

The reason I started this thread is because I love my wife and would like to find ways to make her happier, hopefully while being able to find a few hours to work on a project that I'm hoping will eventually help us financially.