I'm in the process of trying to create a little hype about my new game.

I've not done any marketing for my game before, what is in your opinion the best way to go about it?

Focus on the mechanics? Focus on the story? Focus on the theme and the world?

Is

"Navigate in space, fly a fighter plane or helicopter, drive a tank or a jeep.

The second paragraph sounds more intriguing to me. But it would need the first paragraph to tell me what kind of game (mechanically) I was playing.

Is

#1

better than

#2

No. It is dry and soulless. #2 is immersive. #1 is a boring marketing team’s description of a characterless game. A generic description that braces me for the most generic drab experience of my life.

Of course, you need to fix the errors in both.

“Your arrogant, yet powerful brother refuses to search for your kidnapped sister, but changes his mind after your father also mysteriously disappears. Meanwhile, in a different part of the world, a mad scientist creates unholy soldiers from cadavers and summarily kills everyone in sight. You receive a letter, a gun, and a spaceship from a mysterious benefactor, along with a map of a nearby planet. A huge red X marks a village on the surface…”


L. Spiro

I would blend the two. You want to engage the reader while also telling them what the game entails.

What everyone here has said is true enough. If you could somehow combine the two paragraphs, but make it into something short and sweet, you would probably have something. I think a story is more likely to grab someone than a description of game mechanics. However, as someone mentioned above, you need a little of the mechanics in there to tell you what kind of game it is, and give the player some idea about how it will play. The elevator pitch is a good reference for what you want.. Something like this:

In this Sci-fi action shooter (?), a young man who's sister has been taken by a dreadful enemy must set out on his own to save her. A maniac scientists delves into darkness as he creates an unholy army with the power to destroy the galaxy. With only a ship, a gun and a map, an unlikely hero must traverse a perilous galaxy in order to save his sister, and the galaxy itself. (?)

I don't know if this is what you're looking for, or if I'm in the ball park on your story at all, but I think this is a good mash-up of what you had above.