Hello gamedev, how are you?

It's been a while since I posted and I wanted to say hello (in addition to the hello above, and the one in the post title).

This is not a very serious post.

I have a problem.

I don't enjoy playing games.

Now, I actually think I do enjoy playing games, I just haven't found anything lately that totally drew me into long hours of gaming.

I have conducted a small research about the subject and came to the following possibilities of my awkward position of the wish to develop games and not wanting to play any:

A) I am afraid of long games (see Pillars of Eternity or even old stuff like Total Annihilation: Kingdoms). Don't have the patience as I had when I was younger. I want to finish something quickly and move to the next bit.

B) I am afraid of losing. I seem to be afraid to lose to random players on the net for some reason, be it Starcarft or weird FPS deathmatches on Facebook. I'm not playing all day long, meaning I'm not getting very good at playing the game, meaning I die a lot, and that makes me sad.

C) Dunno.

The things I can do about the stuff above are:

1) Play the damn game. It's like reading a book, only a lot more fun, isn't it?

2) Lose. So what. It's worth the adrenaline rush. And if you start doing 5 matches a day you eventually get better. There will always be korean kids around to beat you either way. Racism!

3) I should really insert competitiveness into my head. Learn to enjoy it!

Part of my research told me I might be getting older. I refuse to accept that I won't enjoy a game because I'm getting older. Bullshit.

I'm tired of writing boring stuff so I'll just write games that I enjoyed over the years, and you tell me how to get back on the train and get into the gaming business again happily like a horse drinking milk.

I enjoyed the first Half Life, REALLY. I didn't play the sequels (yet?)

Total Annihilation.

Starcraft 1 + 2.

Battlefiefld, err... 3? I think. Where you jump on a moving train in the beginning. Funstuff.

Dune!

Call of Duty Modern Warfare. Not the 4th one, I'm not keeping to date with all the sequels for some reason.

meh.

Final Fantasy 7. I have to play that one again! I got stuck last time after a lot of progress and then got my saves deleted.

Doom 2 of course.

So if these are the type of games I like, why don't I grab me something like that again?

And the most important thing - get inspired and do interesting stuff in the current game and later games I develop.