Any hobby is anti-girl if you can't prioritize and make sure to spend some time with your partner.

Being married does not mean you won't get depressed. Your state of mind is up to you to control. Making someone else responsible for that is dangerous to your wellbeing.

Being married does not mean you won't get depressed. Your state of mind is up to you to control. Making someone else responsible for that is dangerous to your wellbeing.

IMO programming is realy counter-girls activity (counter any life activity as i already said). I would like to met some girl (I think life with a girl is more fun and easier) but I am heavy spiritually damaged (really) by previous one, and second, I would have to be in a mindset when I have not much to do in my mind and start searching, if programming occupies my mind/brain in 95% it is not such way. ;(

I don't think it's easier or harder life with a woman. It can be harder in some ways (for example worrying, or taking care of each other. If you are alone, you can give a shit about yourself, but in a relationship, you suddenly care about two persons) and easier in others (sex, for example).

The other thing (that's already said) is that "searching" is actually counter-productive. It's much likely that you'll find an ideal partner if you are fine on your own, otherwise you'll make too much compromises or find nobody at all.

As for productivity, for me personally, having a girlfriend makes me more unproductive, because it's too tempting just to lie down with her on the sofa.

The thing that makes me really unproductive though, is being employed and spending 1.5 hours a day with travelling....

EDIT: back to my girlfriend, maybe the best solution for both of us (she is a creating person too, but being with me makes her unproductive too) would be to remove the sofa from the room...

There are a few reasons I avoid relationships, but one of them is that I know how volatile my own mental state is and putting that on someone else isn't remotely fair.

I think that's up to the person to decide, with whom you want to be in a relationship.

I think that's up to the person to decide, with whom you want to be in a relationship.

I think that's up to the person to decide, with whom you want to be in a relationship.

To a degree I agree with you but with the point that it depends ON the condition itself. People will, with the best will in the world, go into something thinking they understand the situation and thinking they can handle it BUT unless you live with it 24/7 you can't know and so, in my opinion, you should take some of the responsibility as to if putting this into someone else's life is fair to them or not.

End of the day it's a personal choice; others might see if differently, but that is the cold hard truth of my world

You still could trust other people's strength to live with you or leave you if it's not possible, or to cope with you breaking their heart. Not everything is written in stone, you can break-up.

Well, actually my girlfriend read your comment and said you sounded a bit coward, but if you are actually that of a terrific person then I take everything back.

I wonder if working as a programmer in unmarried state can be better for programming or being married is better ;-/ When unmarried I found myself depressive often but I have a lot of time to fucus (though to be candid last months the depressive state beats the fosus) Some opinions in general ? ;-O

I wonder if working as a programmer in unmarried state can be better for programming or being married is better ;-/ When unmarried I found myself depressive often but I have a lot of time to fucus (though to be candid last months the depressive state beats the fosus) Some opinions in general ? ;-O

Take a break.

the question is if i should take a break and then go full steam or (and become depressive again) or maybe If I should slow down and maybe develop other ways of life than coding (this is dating, family life or something more related to life than coding ;-)

But to be true real life scary me, usually I feel more secure to code than to live some life (I even dont have an idea how to live life outside coding ;-) (finding a girl (to live with) is probably the easiest what comes to my mind))

Well maybe this is some warped view, and i am exagerrating a little, dalso do not want talk to much about myself (I would like to talk in general) but some questions like this become to come to my mind ;/ and I would like to rethink my way of living