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(READ THIS BEFORE) Hello, this is my game idea that I am writing the whole story, quests, i'm designing the monsters, mystical beings, landscapes (drawing them all by hand), going to get help for music and sounds I am basically a 1 man army making this game, I am putting only about 2 hours a day into the game which is nothing but its all the time I have as I work. I am fully 100% committed in making this game a reality one day though I want positive and negative feedback on any aspects I have written down here.
This game will be somewhat runescape inspired but nothing similar to runescape.
If you don't know what runescape is you are 6 years late.
Do give me feedback and I am looking for volunteers who are interested in this idea for there designs ideas and maybe it would be implicated into the game and if so I would like them to work for me. (but please don't post about that in this thread)

Online Browser MMORPG (Free to Play/Pay to Play) base in a world called Folaria.

Folaria is a tough world to survive in with mystical animals, monster, nature, horrors, immense landscapes/mountains, scorching deserts, humid jungles, dense forests and very deep caves.

Folaria has been through a war for the past 1200 years and has recently ended, with a large majority of the population gone wildlife and creatures from the deep have thrived woodlands and jungles grew and the people have started amending all they lost.
The people still standing after the war are trying to build a better future for themselves and their families.
Many of the citizens run shops; making Armour for travelers (players), robes, weapons, hairdressers, etc…

Travelers (players) reach the town of Toula and that's where they start there journey leveling up their skills (22 skills [more to come as the game progresses] and as they level up so they can do other activities start new quests and explore the lands of Folaria; cutting, mining, slashing, shooting, cooking, fishing, hunting, making, crafting, exploring etc...
The highest level to achieve in each skill is 100, achieving this is a great challenge as it is not an easy road to reach as each time you level your skill the amount of Experience Points that you need is doubled.
There is Players verses Players, Players verses Monsters, Economy, easy communication to other players, special abilities, character designs etc...

The reason for the war "Blood Wars".

THE BROTHERS ARE – Xio, Aio, Zio, Wio.
THE CHURCHES ARE – Xios, Aios ,Zios, AND Wios

Xio, Zio, Aio and Wio are four brothers. Xio and Zio are twins Zio only being born a couple of seconds after Xio they are identical twins.
Aio is one year younger and Wio is one year younger than Aio.

1232 years ago the four brothers discovered mystica and were the first to use incantations and enchantments, they understood mystica so well that they made themselves godlike. Citizens of Folaria call them Divines.

-Xio was the first of the 4 brothers who was the last one to discover about mystica and when he figured it out he was mad with rage knowing his brothers knew and not telling him and he rained death from the sky's with anger discovering he could be the most powerful and used his anger deep down converting himself to pure evil the all power of death. (red/black)

-Aio the second oldest watching his brother becoming so evil he acted to stop him and in so doing he made himself pure with good only to help and do good for others, the all power of purity (white)

-Zio is the third brother the one to discover mystica and watching his two older brothers fighting he wanted to understand mystica more and ignoring the two older siblings he carries on understanding magic and becoming ever more powerful as he does but using his mystica to better understand incantations, the all power of mystica/incantations. (neon blue)

-Wio is the youngest brother he is fascinated about life, environment, creatures vegetation and he used all his power in becoming all power of life.

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(I will continue to post more of the story soon this is not the full game idea)

Just a suggestion from a writing standpoint: it's generally a good idea to make sure all of your main characters have different sounding names and that all those names start with a different letter. Having all four of the brothers have names with "io" as the suffix could be confusing for players who are unfamiliar with the world and the characters.

Just a suggestion from a writing standpoint: it's generally a good idea to make sure all of your main characters have different sounding names and that all those names start with a different letter. Having all four of the brothers have names with "io" as the suffix could be confusing for players who are unfamiliar with the world and the characters.

Agreed.

The names are still quite open for suggestions, though the land of Folaria many of the citizens do have short and with similar sounds to there names to make players names more unique.

I am saying this as a peer who is trying to respectfully give you the help you want.

To be honest, the idea is very contrived and generic. I don't mean to step on any toes, but we've seen this exact story rehearsed ad nauseum. I do have professional experience writing for folks to generate creative content, not much, but it's there. It was when I was around sixteen, I lied about my age and used networking to amass contacts, while I got burnt out quickly the experience was invaluable and I'd like to share some things with you a technique that I created.

Pretend your story is going to be patented. The criteria for patents is primarily originality, patents also require for you to be extremely thorough. Using this process as a base, you can easily flesh out an entirely NEW story. Now, I'm assuming you want a good story - you CAN achieve this with the same ideas of others, but it will probably be unremarkable. With that in mind, let's continue:

Before you think of characters, think of the world. Remember, originality. Commonly people don't put much emphasis on their setting and cycle through a collective group of already established ones, I.E. typical fantasy, sci fi, etc... This doesn't mean you can't use those (like if you are writing a story within Earth) but you should DELVE into them. This story is a product of you and the setting should reflect that. Be DIFFERENT, make concepts and apply them to your story's environment. Ask questions, ask as many questions as you can and then find MORE questions. How did this world come to be? How did this PLACE come to be? What happens in this world? What happened before? Are the inhabitants educated? Can the inhabitants talk? What are the general moralities? How does this world feel? Is it bleak? Is it sad? Is it happy? Is it blissful? Even if you want to write a story about a place already invented, these question all still apply.

You introduced a magical system, now, you have to be careful about this. If it doesn't feel powerful, mysterious, etc... it can fall flat, quickly. Once more, patent process! Look at other magic systems, RESEARCH, google search, do everything! Immerse yourself into your writing so it may BECOME immersive. Magic should be much more than spell casting, it (typically) relies on the energy of the world/individual influenced by the word(see why it's important to flesh out the world first?) and has many more components than just being a tool of alteration. But that's only typically, you can do whatever you want! Keep asking questions, keep writing it down!

Characters.... Now, see, this is tricky. Of course, start with the background, motives, childhood, parents, and more. Structure this out just like the two concepts you did before. Make it well rounded, choose and specify events that would foreshadow their behavior later on. Here's a little exercise to try after background checks to determine the way they interact and dialogue: For one day, think like your character, BE him. You don't have to talk like him or do what he'd do explicitly, just keep it in your mind. Set a version of yourself aside that picks out certain scenario that you come across and rationalize how he/she would handle it.

Now, write it down. You're carrying a notepad, right? Why aren't you carrying a notepad?!


There are much more variables to cover, approach them with the mindset that it must be complete, thorough. You probably won't use a lot of the information you write down, not within the text, but you'll use it each time you develop the story. When the concepts are completed(though they never truly are), write an indepth outline separate for each category (characters,worlds,magic, etc). This is, again, the patent process; you must be very detailed to earn that patent! While you are not actually going to get a patent, it's good to raise your expectations to a professional and detailed level.


Hope I helped!


JD

I have a suggestion to do with the colours assigned to each brother-

Any nerd or even casual fantasy enthusiast will recognise the colours being assigned to the same philosophies/focuses as Magic The Gathering (plus many more fantasy universes) white for healing / black for evil / red for rage / blue for wisdom / green for nature.

To make Folaria more unique, mix up the colour order, for example-


Black for purity; the way of death is also the source of healing and cleansing.
White for rage; the lack of colour referencing jingoism, fanaticism and uncompromising.
Red for wisdom; Fire as starting point for science and experimentation, increasing knowledge.
Blue for nature; most of our planet is blue and water is the source of all life.
Green for evil; I have no idea, but given more time I could maybe make it work.

I just came up with that in a few minutes and don't mean for you do to that order, but I think having a more unique colour alignment will really make your game stand out from the crowd and generate some really interesting artwork.

All the best,

GR