i just want an opinion on our upcoming game QUANTAs storyline.
tell me what you think.
November 12[sup]th[/sup] 2098
PROJECT J, the plan to create an intelligent self-modifying and self-replicating robot is under way. Once development is complete it will be sent in a quantum teleporter to planet NCC-170 where it will create a SOCIETY OF ROBOTS that can become more complex and in the future benefit humankind.
Once completed it will not be interacted with for 20 years, leaving the robots to multiply and become more advanced.
The plan is shrouded in secrecy and will be done in Churchill Manitoba. This means that the project can have materials shipped in without anybody noticing.

November 12[sup]th[/sup] 2118
It has been 20 years since PROJECT J. but all plans to end the mission have been stopped. Something went terribly wrong but nobody but the government knows what.
September 15[sup]th[/sup] 2702
It has been almost 600 years since PROJECT J. Nobody remembers the project. Nobody but the robots. They have come to earth to take revenge for being abandoned. The entire earth is under their control. Humanity is forced into hiding. There is only one group of rebels left. They are living in the HIDDEN CITY. They plan to over through the robots but how can you beat PURE LOGIC?
May 5[sup]th[/sup] 2751
The rebels have captured a high profile robot. It contains important information in its memory. All of the robots are controlled from a master computer. The rebels plan to create a robot to destroy it. Using parts from other wrecked robots.

You play as QUANTA. Destroy the other robots through over 100 exciting level & boss battles.

EDIT: I dunno why but I made 2 copies. could a mod delete the other one please? thanks.

They have come to earth to take revenge for being abandoned.

but how can you beat PURE LOGIC?

Strangely this reminds me of Spock. I guess this really comes down to the following question: Have you imbued your robots with emotion (or have they developed it through the self-modification you mentioned).

You play as QUANTA. Destroy the other robots through over 100 exciting level & boss battles.

This is your game. So my only question for this is QUANTA an acronym?

Gah! This post is going to come out far more inquisitorial than I want it to be. So let me point out that there are a lot of games out there that have achieved great success with logically inconsistent or flawed storylines. And please do not take anything I cover here as being a personal attack on your storyline. My last qualification before I start on my opinion is this: Anything regardless of how bizarre or strange or logically inconsistent can be made to work if the story itself enables those elements to have a validity in themselves.

the plan to create an intelligent self-modifying and self-replicating robot is under way. Once development is complete it will be sent in a quantum teleporter to planet NCC-170 where it will create a SOCIETY OF ROBOTS that can become more complex and in the future benefit humankind.

Okay have kind of changed my mind and am going to do something a little different. I will try to story arc your storyline into something that incorporates all your elements and smooth out the logical inconsistencies.

November 12th 2098
PROJECT J, the plan to create an intelligent self-modifying and self-replicating robot is under way. Once development is complete it will be sent in a quantum teleporter to planet NCC-170 where it will create a SOCIETY OF ROBOTS. The mission is to develop a form of society that will achieve the greatest potential possible and the resulting knowledge of how that society works be integrated into Earth’s society at the completion of the Project J. A utopian dream that will in the future benefit humankind.

November 17th 2121 *Note I have change the date to reflect the project itself took time in development etc before sending the robot
It has been 20 years since PROJECT J. but all plans to end the mission have been stopped. Something went terribly wrong with the quantum teleporter creating an unstable flux field making quantum teleportation no longer possible from Earth. The govenrment buries all knowledge of the project.

September 15th 2702
It has been almost 600 years since PROJECT J. Nobody remembers the project. Nobody but the robots. They have come to earth to take revenge for the terrible attack on their planet (a result of the quantum teleporter malfunction). Given the quantum teleporter also rendered teleportation impossible at their end they travelled through space in near-light speed ships. (explains why they took so long to return. Mainly because a society of robots would not take very long to achieve technological levels enabling a swifter return) The entire earth is under their control. Humanity is forced into hiding. There is only one group of rebels left. They are living in the HIDDEN CITY. They plan to overthrow the robots but how can you beat PURE LOGIC?

May 5th 2751
The rebels have captured a high profile robot. It contains important information in its memory. All of the robots are controlled from a master computer. The rebels plan to create a robot to destroy it. Using parts from other wrecked robots.

This is just one possible way in which you can maintain your ideas and give them a more logical flow. Take note as I said earlier. There are plenty of games out there that make no sense but still do well. Either way I wish you the best of luck

Good call Stormy. Some nice fixes I think.

I think revenge and robots doesn't mix well unless they are not "PURE LOGIC". Perhaps they view humans as a clear and present danger, or having a resource they need. For example, there is base programming that they cannot change which limits an individual's lifespan or has otherwise limited their abilities, and the reason for their invasion is to find the original factory and get the digital key that allows that programming to be changed. A factory that old could be very hard to find, so require them to physically invade many offices/datacentres/homes etc to find clues about it's location. Maybe it was buried in a natural disaster?

I also don't buy the "master computer" angle... it seems unlikely robot evolution would head that way. A master computer means really only one individual, so no need for competition. Also reflex speed would be determined by the distance from the master computer. Maybe searching for the same digital key to force a patch that will shut them all down? With maybe the moral choice to trust they will leave if you let them upgrade themselves.

[font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]

I personally think you should change the name of the project from Project J to the [color="#000000"]Von Neumann Project after the physicist would study the field of self replicating machines extensively. [/font]









[font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif"][color="#000000"] I don't think the revenge idea works very well. Especially when you use terms like driven by pure logic. It doesn't seem to fit that robots would cross the vastness of space to take revenge on something that happened over 600 years ago. That is a rather long time to hold a grudge.[/font]




[font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif"][color="#000000"]What if you went the with idea of a malfunctioning seed ship? The original project was designed to create mankind's first off world colony. The Von Neumann machines were given a set of instructions to replicate and transform the planet into the ideal habitat for humans, and then create a space bridge back to earth and return home. However the original machine was damaged in transit and after converting NCC-170 in a giant factory city they've returned to earth to repeat the process.[/font]

[font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif"][color="#000000"]The goal rather then being to destroy the master computer might be to acquire enough pieces of the original machine base code to create a shut down code that can be used deactivate all the machines or return them to their original state.[/font]

thanks for the help. made some small (big) changes. tell me what you think.
November 12[sup]th[/sup] 2098
the von neuman project, the plan to create an intelligent self-modifying and self-replicating robot is under way. Once development is complete it will be sent in a quantum teleporter to planet NCC-170 where it will create a SOCIETY OF ROBOTS. The mission is to create a race of self-replicating & self-modifying race of robots. The robots will form a society that will achieve its greatest potential possible and the resulting knowledge of how the society works be integrated into earths society at the completion of the Von Neuman project. A utopian dream that will benefit humankind in the future. Also, the project will tereform NCC-170 so that humans can habit it. Once completed it will not be interacted with for 20 years, leaving the robots to multiply and become more advanced. The plan is shrouded in secrecy and will be done in Churchill Manitoba. This means that the project can have materials shipped in without anybody noticing.

November 11[sup]th[/sup] 2122
It has been 20 years since the von neuman project. but all plans to end the mission have been stopped. Something went terribly wrong with the quantum teleporter creating unstable quantum space so that quantum teleportation is no longer possible to NCC-170. This caused a huge explosion, decimating many of the robots cities. The robots think that this was an attack from the humans and plan to attack. But the quantum malfunction also meant that the robots cant teleport from NCC-170. They also can’t teleport from nearby planets because all quantum teleporters on NCC-170 have been damaged and all of the uranomium (essential mineral for teleportation) have been depleted from NCC-170. Also there are no nearby planets that have enough uranomium to teleport an army to attack earth. The robots now see the humans as a threat that is essential to neutralize so they cross the gap between planets manually. This will take nearly 600 years.

September 15[sup]th[/sup] 2702
It has been almost 600 years since the von neuman project. Nobody remembers the project. Nobody but the robots. They have come to earth to neutralize the threat. The entire earth is under their control. Humanity is forced into hiding. There is only one group of rebels left. They are living in the HIDDEN CITY. They plan to over through the robots but how can you beat PURE LOGIC?

May 5[sup]th[/sup] 2751
The rebels have captured a high profile robot. It contains important information in its memory. There is a computer on NCC-170 that contains a code that when broadcast will shut down all robots in the vicinity. This was created by the robot authority to keep their citizens (robots) under control. The rebels create the robot QUANTA. It is made from the parts of captured robots and could get that code from the robots. However, the code is on NCC-170 and it will have to teleport there. But first it needs uranomium (which has been depleted for hundreds of years.)
May 31[sup]st[/sup] 2752
Over 1 year of development and QUANTA is complete. The rebels scanners have detected traces of uranomium on Pluto. But the robots have security rings around the sun for each planet. The only way through is to pass each planet level (each planet in the solar system) but first QUANTA has to go to mercury to get the mining laser in order to mine the uranomium from Pluto (thus making the player go through all of the planets) Once QUANTA gets through the solar system you it teleports to a nearby planet to NCC-170 (same solar system) the security on the solar system is much tighter than ours. You must play through 9 planets + NCC-170 (9 levels & a boss each) then when you get the code the rebels can shut down the robots.

You play as QUANTA. Destroy the other robots through over 100 exciting level & boss battles.

Better. I don't like the "uranomium" thing though - both the name and using an unknown extra element. It's been overdone in sci-fi. I have a few alternate suggestions below:
1. A singularity/black hole. Originally the project used an artificial one, but that technology has been lost. There is a natural one passing near Pluto soon though.
2. Same as the above but with a cosmic string from string theory.
3. The teleportation technology itself has been lost/abandoned because of the danger. Only an early prototype that was tested near Pluto still exists (there because they assumed any malfunction couldn't affect Earth from that distance). The robots never had a working teleporter because the connection was controlled from Earth's end.
4. Quantum teleportation relies upon pairs of entangled particles. You can teleport from the location of one particle to the location of its entangled particle. Either entangled particles were sent there the slow old fashioned way, or an asteroid was found which originated from NCC-170 space and contains particles still entangled with it's home solar system.

there are billions of molicules in the tip of a pin. chances are your breathing an oxygen molicule from caesars (julius) last breath right now. the # of molicules on earth most likely has more 0s than the server can handle at the end.
the laws of chance say that most likely there is a molicule entangled with one on said planet on earth. I dont thinks that this is a problem.
however I think i might use the string/black hole (or similar) idea.
THANKS

is this story line any good for QUANTA?[/quote]
As good as any other. The concept is by no means new, but it's your game world, so it can be as screwed up as you want it to be. What's going to affect player interest more is the actual game events the player participates in.

Oh, if there's one thing you can do to improve the setting and make it more realistic, it would be creating all of the history that lead to the current events, not just the history related to Project J and not the three specific dates you seem to have chosen at random. For example it's quite likely that by 2700 humanity will be fighting the "terminators" using robots of their own. What's more, the battles will probably be conducted in space, because by that time technology will be advanced enough to create the perfect AI as well as replace the human body with a robotic one etc.