Hello,

I have been lurking the forums, off and on, for a while now. I have an idea for a story, only just recently started typing the information out. I was wondering if I could get some input on this.

Please keep in mind, this is my first time actually releasing a game idea of mine. I have had several, but never really told anyone about them, outside of an immediate circle, that is. Also, I am still learning the technical side of things. I do not have enough skill for what this game would need to actually be made, except for writing/designing.


Gameplay Basics:
Top-Down Arcade Shooter
RPG Elements (Experience, Leveling)
Puzzles

Gameplay Elements:
Killing Stuff, Combos/Shot Counting for Score Multipliers and Power bonuses
Gaining EXP/Leveling
Item/Treasure hunting
Weapon Creation

Story:
An ex Confederate Army General, Jebb (may change) is trying to reunite with his wife. The problem is, they are both deceased. Jebb's wife is peace in Heaven. Jebb, having lived a second, more evil life style, is tortured in the pits of Hell. Jebb strikes a deal with Death; In exchange for services rendered, Jebb will be reunited with his beloved.

Jebb is sent out on a mission to keep the seven seals of Hell from opening, preventing the Apocalypse from taking place. This quest will take Jebb to various parts of the world. A world, mind you, that Jebb is not acquainted to. You see, Jebb has been tortured in Hell a very long time, and times have indeed changed. From volcanoes to corporate offices, Jebb must complete missions as laid out by Death if he plans on seeing his wife ever again. But are Death's intentions pure?


Sorry about all the text, and I do appreciate you taking the time to read this. Once again, I would appreciate any input that you have, as long as it is not too harsh. Constructive criticism is just that; Constructive.

I'm not sold on this yet. It sounds like you had an interesting story idea, and tacked on some of the game play mechanics. I'm know what I'm doing, but I don't know how I'm doing it. They are very separated because you never relate one to the other. Because of this, I don't know if you want me to comment on the Gameplay and Elements, which I can't really since I don't know what I do, or the story, which does sound interesting, but still seems like half of an idea.

Also I highly doubt Death's intentions are pure, seeing how its Death and all.
Don't just say "killing stuff" because you do that in almost any game now-a-days. Be specific.

So:
What makes this fun to play?
Why is Jebb special? No one wants to be in Hell.
What's the importance here? The Story or the Action?
What sets this game apart?

Good Luck!

Thanks for the reply, and not being harsh. What I am looking for is weather or not this could be something to expand on. I am currently typing up a very simple GDD. It has information on Gameplay Elements, controls, Player Character abilities, Level names and Layouts, Enemies and Bosses, and strategies for each. I will try to break it down to give you a better understanding of how the idea is flowing so far, without revealing too much.

Target audience:
Anyone who loves classic arcade action, rpgs and involving stories.What makes this fun to play:
The fast paced, top-down action will keep players on their toes, while the deep story will keep them wanting to know what happens next.

Why is Jebb special:
Jebb's reputation withing the confederacy is well known and appreciated. But he has a dark side. Jebb feels like he has approached Death for help, but it is the other way around. Jebb was chosen by Death.

What is important:
Story. Stories can drive gameplay when presented correct, and they are one of the biggest things about modern games. Stories involve the player so that they can feel apart of the game to make it more of an experience, instead of just a game.

What sets this game apart:
There are 7 chapters, representing one of the deadly sins and reflects on Jebb's "other" life, and will have 2 - 3 levels for each. It is reintroduction to arcade action with a moving story about redemption and betrayal, and meant for a low budget.

Engine:
Undecided, but looking at UDK for ease of streaming abilities and GUI development.


Pretty much the story follow as:
Jebb and his wife die due to an accident. Jebb strikes a deal with Death to get out of Hell and see his wife. Jebb agrees to the terms, only to find out later in the game that Death is manipulating him. Death informs Jebb that he is sanctioned to close and lock the seven seals to prevent the apocalypse from happening as repentence, but in actuality Jebb is pushing it closer. Because of these events, both God and Satan take notice. Good can not exist without Evil. There is a determined time when the apocolypse is supposed to happen, and this is not that time. During the chaos, both God and Satan beleives it is the other pushing for this, and their attention focuses on sticking to the original plan, and work to correct and control the situation. With all the confusion, Death tries to backdoor each other and wipe them all out. Death is quite furious about his role in the grand scheme of things and seeks to rule over the entire afterlife. Afterall, he does the dirty work.

Death's intentions are never pure. As you stated, he is Death. I added that line to maybe grab attention, but I guess it was already going that way with you. Also, the "killing stuff" was meant as an obvious gameplay element. Probably shouldn't have been put in there. I was hoping readers would notice and say "duh" then chuckle. I also have alot more stuff in the GDD. I think I am at around 10 pages currently. Pretty in depth... for me at least. If you have any more comments or questions, please post them. Again thank you for your interest. And sorry for the lengthy information.